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India (chapter two)

April 5, 2018

 

Airport art. From naga land. ..they had carving totems too..very pacific.

Mural in train alley.


Second 90 day stint.
Egypt to cairo..sick.


But with good airplane films

All strangely echoing themes of men with kids..and evokeing emotional weepyness..



1 manglehorn (al pacino)

2 infinitly polar bear

3 security (action no brainer..but hes protecting a 11 year old girl..)



So all these disolveing redundant male architype roles fed back to me..eh...

In a vacuume sealed autonimous airport faximilie of life...or is that just my identity makeover matrix globalist agenda spreading


Make it back jubulently without any bad stuff..cept a last gesture from egypt man authority..customs pat down strikeing my nipples forcefully. It seemed...fuk i hate egyption guys...i glowerd at him..

Saying mentally..

Dont fukin touch me like that creep.!

Dont care what uniform you got on.

I dont have a bomb in my tit dude.



Googled rape in egypt..yep..suspician confirmed.

Massive child abuse n male n femal rape stats...thatll explain sone of the dark vibes.

And we rememver the cheery cathlic background hum.of ya ruined famly..and

Psycho standover fsmly violence of ya own pacific state house ghetto..

Which was a utopian privledge of course in the 70s.



.with last of my energy off plane..went on tuk tuk tooon local crounded train..

Sewer smells n crouded rubbishy frantic street. Familier homely!

But i like it..its fun..seeing being with th reguler pple transiting.

At hotel..where i left bike there pleased to see me..

to pay up obviously fer storeing bike..



Which doesnt start and has bits pinched from it and is coated in grime n dust from atmosphere

I go to small hot room. And fer two days in dark

drift in infected dark warm sweaty lump rusty barbed wire throat feeling infection..
In cheapish hotel.
Finding th cairo antibiotic starting..
Still sleep in life review kinda memory identity storyboard..some inturnalised confrontational throat chakra pyrimid mummy action.


Whats true
....whats false....psychological origins of evil
Edges bend..judments collapse
You see ya self
As a kid
Or soul..timeless
Memorys rush back ..how loss
Agitation
Fear
Amger judgement criticism expectation..
All..
Block..this sublime freedom
A glimpse of
Some other creatire
Th real you..the timeless soul..kid..being.

Just visiting.
Cathartic discharge of a ritual sick..in body.



How graced to start again dispite that ever preasent shadow..great teacher.

Indian streets swirl.in a million moods..
Sometimes hostile filthy apathetic
Then at a different hour..modest kind professional helpfull
Then..money hungry...and every eye on ya..
But wouldnt get anywhere..without the enmeshed generosity help and openess.
I dont know any hindi...
Its amazeing im getting by at all!

Dusk theres moments of play lightness civility..pple end work.. hang out


A chai with a guy...a fella buys me a mango juice in th middle of day..when i finally emerge..bloody good.

As if th universe was saying...

Its a relationship..its not all about me spending...but just being here.



A contradiction to feeling like a walking cash machine



.ladyboys hussling fer coin.
Firm commanding clap clap clap!
I give em 5 roops. There was eye contact.

A photo with a chip maker boiling chips in huge couldron veg oil.



.a cell phone shop help..maybe the network will process my number when they get round to it.
Directions tomorrow for bike journey.

Spokes on bike had to have repair work someone or potholes..had broken 6 of them on one side..was feeling unballanced.
All sorted.coulda been done on purpose just so i could be escourted to th repair guy..but..im too suspicious.
Glad it was sorted out..about 20$.. saw him do it..kinda cool...watchin th repair.

Maintainence not getting wiped out on th road.
Street samosa pretty good...
Little things..guy gives ya sloppy sause dribbles down ya leg..did he do that on purpose cos they dont like me? Whole shop stareing at white guy..
Is th laughing pointing at me like fun or..ahh ...mean.
Shit i gotta eat too! esp when sick..
Didnt eat fer 35 hours..sweating n moaning in bed.

Thats th down side being only white guy in town
Everyone notices ya..pretend not to if there polite
Stares if they dont give a fuk
Often glowers darkly from hairy hunched youth on motobike.
Different than egypt..more..hmm safe?
Lots more well wishing friendlyness if ya engage.
I love the atmosphere of openess on street.
Everythings kinda on show..
The weilder

th sewer

the flour grinder
The preyer shrine..

The macine tool shop

Knife sharpener
Everyones kinda lookin out..of there shop..or hanging arbitarily
Or playing a game in a circle on a cell phone..giggling..
Or ...any number of chaotic weird innocent stuff..
In th dust
Open sewers n honking horns
With sequined bling n repose of jaw..lofty looks or
Mumbled hellos...
Just a average crappy modern developing town.
Werkin folk..doing there think as village. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


..maybe that level of availability n function is not with us in nz dunedin.. th west. Were all so removed from being of service or needed in th competion of economy..

Frontage of web review..peer apraisals n psi ops of media ego  spin.

Shit..people here just do. ..get on with it.

In th shit.

They probly dont notice anymore.


THe galaxy phone shop next to ye olde male barbour wooden box guy.
Or
Fancey saree shop next to bakery.
And assorted street fryed things guys.


Dogs hangin in warm sun gravel from a half finished repair on a crumbly house...
All left on chaotic street.
Its a hell of a neihbourhood..!

I was so glad to be back
ive been realy cross n offended heaps of times already.which i kick myself for
Im a reactive dick..but ..
It is challangeing being ill.
Still..."give me the money"
Seems to be th catch phrase..
Which is before hospitality  implys im not gonna pay at th hotel..
Ya think somewheres decent..cos they wipe th floor..
And have suits
But there as clutchy n preditry for the pretence of what passes fer a classy joint around here.
Panval..outside mumbai.

Feeling betterish..needs basicly met..and
Off to elora caves on th bike..if i can get gmaps going.
Im tetherd to needing internet big time..interms of logistics.
..a ancient carved tourist zone of antiquity in a canyon...on way to agra.
Taj mahal....then varanasi. Thats the next few weeks. plan.

JUST

SO FUKIN LUCKY TO BE PRESENT

HERE NOW

WITH THESE PEOPLE

YOU PEOPLE

THE WORLD SEEMS LIKE A MAJICAL DIMENTIONAL PROBABILITY OVERLAY

EQUAL HORROR

AND TRANCENDANT MAJESTY N DIVINE RIPEINING.

 

Its all sooo beuatifull...

Its all too beuatifull...!!

 

THE INNER AND OUTTER SYNERGISE THE STEP

WE MAKE OURSELFS MAKEING EACH OTHER..

IN INTIMATE SUFFERINGS DEPENDANCYS AND UNDERSTANDINGS

THIS COMPASSION

WITNESSING HUMAN INTELLIGENCE

 

NOT MENTAL VIRTUAL HYBRID LINEAR.

BUT

FULL NATURAL SLOW DEEP REAL.

 

ARTS LISTENING THRU TH VEIL

TRANSLATEING IN OURSELFS

OTHER

ANCESTERS CALL SPIRIT WORLD

 

AS IF THERES ANY OTHER.

 

MAKE THE LANGUAGE

 

ENERGISE THE FLOW

Accepting shit as it is

Understanding what that..is

Might be.

(Life work there.)

 

Quick note.

Methane permafrost melt 

With upper atmosphere hi energy beams

Arctic sea temp riseing heaps

Super volvano detonations as probable 

Elite fix

Manufactured global winter..

Versus run away climate change.

 

What artists have known fer thousands of years

SELF REINFORCING FEEDBACK LOOPS

(Crystslising to whole cultures even)

 

Guy macpherson wellington talk 

 

Or a more succinct over view

 

Overview 

 

I like this guy cos he opted out n farmed a permaculture farm ..

And is a anarchist 

As a top academic scientist...the heirachy he has trained in..has not deterred his ability to truth tell.

Got a nose fer that..

 

But some will live a wee techno topia in a bunker.

 

Im having a past life regression

A weird psychogeographic cultural integreation with memory..of..

Somewhere else..bottom of the planet where i live...but most of my genetic history..is european..also indiginous at some relitivly recent time..

 

Any self help group would agree

Admitting youve a problem.is the first step.

Since when was death a problem anyway

For a species...a planet..anyway..

A spiritual mythology..pantheon of astro theological countings creening necks at distant points..

Advanced math...some..knowledge inhearited from previous civilisations

 

And time...

What of time mumma?..what are all the babys for mumma?

Do we wake up in a shiney rainbow dimention..far far away with everyone we ever loved and nice angels who telepathicly offer comfort?

(Or for that matter mid class glitz hotel trashy pomp fer raj n baba)

 

Its a blessed n increadable journey.

Everything..as it is...the people

The land

The mind

So greatfull lucky and kind.

Thank you thank you thank you

 

 

 

 

Suger cane juice. 

Pani puri

Yeah so given the sobering 

Severe

Irreversable...imminent n 

Catastrophic collapse of our imaginary world.

Even with AI  n mars probes n mega rich vampires n all that.

 

Its about...as it ever was

Personal accountability

Journey of the soul

 

All is gift

None of it mine

And just a privledge n honour to be witness.

 

Does our transindental witness zip back to alpha centurei? Th peleides?

 

Cosmic nurserys?

Or ever wrathfull phantoms of a doomed acifiyed planet..no way of upscaleing th karma cognition to next level..to ascend as it werre

 

All too linear i expect.

Were either all loved infinite creatures of magnificence

Or

Damned lowly sinners.

Who can tell these days.

I know my own flip flopping software malfunctions

Is incomplete upgrades.

 

AS IT IS 

 

Sort of implys take everything assumed away

Clear view whats left outside of me n my.

 

Nearly impossable..

That neo cortex thingy...jeesus who installed that!!

 

 


 

 

 

Pretty aware at this juncture

 

Of my dependancy..of insulation

My independant (personal excess cash affords) individually masks

Oil fed empire ego self.

Good job if ya can get it..fer planet bacteria..maybe a insect..

A fly structure.

Yeah behelzebub..thats me.

Divine temporary life blip.

 

Jetting (albeit melancholie) thru village structure developing werld....

Privledge cowboy..albeit..alot less so than some indian tourists ill add.

 

Yeah..get ova ya self..could be ignored at home..screeming away at th end of th house while ya mother gets her career saving th world.

Art that lovely psychic commody war zone of aesthetic choice..intellugence

And refined processed disapointmrnt

Turnd

Self will n manifestation.

 

This illusion...

When everything falls away.

Revealed

 

Raw death

Illuminating creative..transformational.

 

Behind everything

Pain

Amxiety

Neurosis

Fear

Neglect

Disease

Hatred

Ignorance

Denial

Class

Privledge

 

All them socialised lies we reinforce

Cos everyone else does.

 

Its normal.

 

I realy dont matter

Cept to me

A tiny amount of others.

Hideing away nz sensitives.

Makeing up the adult story..

In th post colonial bully hive of fuktards.

Pompous pc robotic automotrons

On auto suggestive clone farm 

Wireless.

 

Lifes a ecstatic strange delerious crystal clear dance

Wakeing dream phantasm of co created natural forces..

Pulled together from a material dimention..in local self defineing space..

..

Its all we know

But theres probably heaps more to it we are missing

Cos of our narrow bandwidth

Culturial bias groupthink

Unconsciousness

Singuler

Collective.

Yep

No great answers here..

 

Gods great !

(insert meaning system of yer choice in that term)

 

Were all fucked!..planet fever 

Loops cascade

 

Its not even nessesarily our fault.

..

Fizzy cosmic froth

Reflecting something

Made of the mind

Alive

In which it froths.

 

Holographic

 

So big profit vampire

Makeing spaceships

Farm you n me till th end

Around now.

 

The toys at christmas

Always fuk out pretty quick.

 

In reality

Im at a typical plastic table

On plastic chair

Going to elora caves.

Where perhaps pple used to virtie signal there political godliness fer there set of ruler elites

Aka art..technology.

Perhaps there was a pious uplink in there over th 1000 years of sectarian wership

Perhaps

Some crazed poor monk saw thru th insane monkey bullshit.

Smiled...kindly

Tryd not to be used 

Killed

Venerated..or ignored.

anything else there likely to do to ya.

Anyway

My privledge...lookin at a countrys past relics...feeling like this is the 

Past

Of it all

 

Terrance mckenna

Post history rant

Strange attracter pulling from future

 

Terrance sound bite 98  

 

Ok..so my fairy god mother.."twanky"

Suggested in her way

That ...rather than imminent heat death of planet n run away feedback loops already underway..

(Keep on shoppin yall)

Ahh

 

What is life anyway..right?

 

I mean...WHAT IS LIFE 

Even if it ends as us.

A brief flurrish..on a rock.

 

Speaking of rocks..this one kailash cave

Named after th mountain..ca4v3d from the cliff..over 2000 years ago takeing 900 years i think.

Fukn impressive.

Kinda mystifyed me with th lingum cave.

I like my religeo anthro tourism to have metimifisical cock n pussy milk bath symbolism.

Na truly...i felt it.

Symbolism thats literal as it is universal.

 

 

 

Its real dark in there..inturnal space.

Smooth worn rock floor..pillers..

Scale.

 

Got me thinking..the equivalents of "carving" today.

Information sculpting..data..bio tech gene design..light even.

All that s i fi paranormal narritive of uploading ya self to a another dimention..

Of course

The recent ancesters knew this already was that. Without th gadgets....think that edge is why mans religeon is so fizzy about death god n soul..afterlife..

Maybe womans religeon would be bit more present embodyed..would cash machines be psychotheripists too?

Give hugs..do longterm service arrangements fer protection n submission to alpha egos..

 

I was in a shit mood tday.

Slept in a stone monks cell..

Was gawkd at by indian famlys..

Selfie selfie!

This as sanctifyed as it is..is just another famly outting n trimket sales point.

 

Im tuneing in..to intent..worship..artistry..math..

And eery chambers awsome leeching rock dribbles..its echoing a minimal natural aesthetic ..of fundamentals..for me

Absoluteism...

I reckognise my own singuler search or feeling for reverence mystery 

the sacred.

Wanting that to be central..even in silence.

Perhaps it is already.

Imagine...having nothing..being a 12centry bhuddjist monk in a stone cell..ya whole life.

Or a rate payer in port chalmers.

 

 

 

 

Whole time im recogniseing im vibeing on "nature"..erosion time elemental stsin..th edges of surfaces..the discordant with th articulated..contrasts..

 

In aotearoa..the sacred spaces for alot of us are raw..not synthesised. 

Like caves stelagnites

Mountain trains avalanch..river rock pools 

Swirl ..coastline cliff bush n forrest. 

Whats left after the realestate market anyway.

 

Thats why the retarded kid

The paraplegic

The mentally ill

The successful social achiever 

 

Are all as important as the well adapted normal ignorant.

Cos

Unformed information..has as much raw content as formed made.

In fact..

We usually just ego fuk the shit oitra anything we turn our hand too cocking it up entirely.

Lemmie be a hunter gather

Die young wen i can still root n forrage and it means something

..dunno..

Civilisation..was a mistske.

 

As a kid i was morosely upset at th lack of trees on th plains and hills in chch.

Couldnt understsnd how any of this town was progress at all.

I liked saphire n steel mind you..dr who..

 

Oh yeah..this iz my blog..im gunna wank on as much as i need seeing as im depressed travling alone in fat white middleage loner no famly everyone hates me privledge.

Seriously..no social context..outside of a visa card..what can i say..im not driveing drunk.

Still social context may be a bit ambitious in a robo hive of virtual meem cluster interface n isolation self centred conformist right wing strut 

Victim slave children.

 

If we were all passionate maori warriors and told th brittish n th globalist agenda to fuck off

Grew organic veges n wild meat

Gene resurrected birds..

And

Sang more aswell as read up to date periodicals concerning star telepathy.

Yeah

Ride my whale.

Sleep in my car.

i do

Its a hi ace van.

 

 

 

 

Ahhh so tel us about love master

 

(Parodying a time when people spoke freely)

 

Love my child

As destructive as creation itself.

 

It starts with ya mother

It never realy ends.

Beware

Beware

 

Militiristic monotheism

Material acculation seperation

That..vain echo of hearing ya self hearing about ya self hearing

Organism..self determines

Best route.

Others part of it..but peripheral to inner.

Related however.

It would appear there is only you

But thats apearing to a false entity.

Infact theres no one there.

 

Whats there is water in a stream

A death in the trenchs 1918

A influenza death in the jungle after fritz visited.

Love..when im the breath n sun n 

Wind n collideing galaxys in fast forward

When 

I need you to need me 

as needfull things need

Body requirements

Trust obeying giggles.

 

Knowing itll go to shit

Knowing it cant last

Makeing a effort anyway

Cos we love you

Theres nothing else to do..stick around

Report..no one listening

report...hear ya self burble bullshit

Report..

Kindly suppose ya better than ya feel

Whats the measure?

 

Love cos 

Umm were mamels and thats the biochemicle soup we jive on..

Although it could be..a entity from between versions of ourselfs collectivly fractal peering in thru the tulpa cam angle

The one th one the one

 

Eternal flow

 

Energy body

 

Grains of sand

 

Echoing feedbacks echoing feedbacks

Intencifying in dencity

 

Woops theres the dna libary all over me skirt.

 

Sacrifice empathy forgivness

Honesty commitment willingness

Service..stupidity wizdom

Cooking cleaning..spending alot of money

Not doing what ya want to all th time

Admitting ya wrong

Admitting there wrong

Inability to make it right

Laughter

hopelessness

..and failure

 

Success being 

 a candidate at all

Baby.

 

Ultimatly..love

About shareing being alive self acceptance

And accepting  

 judgemental  creeps

 

Love

Safty

Early home life

Violence

Guilt

 

Anger resent distrust 

Shame 

Abandonment..

 

Problem yer always a problem .

 

Love

.

Acting addict sociopath

Criminal

 

Steal

Hurt

Normal fuckers.

 

Love

That kid

 

Burnin down th house...tryd so earnestly 

 YA GOTTA TRY T BE GOOD AY

 default 

 soaked in other ..made  being born.

abortion.. womans choise

 

Good..obey ..conform..submit..good

Relinquish..

Play th game

 

bad.

 

Power.

Storm

Flood

Wind

Deceit lies 

Horror

Acceptance..

 

Flower

Sunset

Breeze

Bigger picture in everything

 

 

Sketching.. very good student.

understand

 the way 

 

took my own hand 

 

 in my heart  kinda from future or something

 

sane..observer

Weve made alotta decisions together me n this guy

He looks out fer me .

 

Hes majic.

 fuk with majic.

 

Ya cant 

A start u

biggot tax ring

Na.

 make it ya self.

Get a bit of faith

Help

But generally love looks like a soul having a life time

As th conditions permit. 

As it is.

 

A wee weird majic is not realy real.

 

Be nice

Even if ya a bloody awfull 

 

 

(Fukin stupid ass hole of a website .two hours uploading shit painfully slow n it crashs..goddamn i said some good reportive scenery)

 




Hide quoted text

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: james robinson 
Date: Sat, Apr 14, 2018, 7:01 PM
Subject:
To: hemiking8 <hemiking8@gmail.com>


Bat shit crazy india
hot sun pot hole trail bike
Broken carrier

Shell be right fix fix
Weld together
Service too
Which involved washing
Rather than much mechanical
Shes lookin good mate.
Young dudes n boy cranking n pulling n greaseing...hope th carrier holds up.


In the heat i was wznting to avoid desperatly
In th middle of crazy town.
(There all crazy town whole damn country) 

Try n find coffee fer doodle diary ritual
Four story dept store..air con..
Very mid class..with its own beurocracy too...what ever ya buy hasta get bagged send down stairs verifyed..checked
By a team
Guys in uniform hover at ever step ya make
Ask advice..amd they own you..
Dont move sir..
No! Dont move..im just finding out.

There lovely
But
Getting help often means expending alot of energy on the helper..who will not understand.
Ok im being ruthless
But...its insane th layers n levels.

The streets like mad max..chortling churning matrix of multitude..spagghetti flows...with grit. Belching smoke..
Kitch tradgic glam..
Little packets of chewing tobacco n pan..

Got a peeled cucumber from a guy...
Vegetables...bit of dipping salt fer that


Real thick lassi..with spoon n wee almond on.
A jalabi..a engorged syrip starch thing..bleeding suger n colesterol.

Been in india for 14 weeks.
Still everyday theres insane shit that surprises me.


Megga horrendous political dance off from back of truck..street party.
Politicians trying to buy festival religeous fervour...with big bass crap music..audio assult..the kids loved it.

Disco beats of infant heartbeat machine
Truck in celebration
Wheeling down road..cops twirling fingers..directionally
Relevant
Socially!
White foam spreys from dancing boys
Hi preasure ejaculations..
Some toxic agent no dought steriliseing them.
Drinking orange juice..gleefully

The mangled wrecks of road warrior trucks..
The market junction..

Suger cane diesel push me pull you rattle..
Throb of royal enfield

Sensations of
Sweat...under jacket
Wind of accelation..cooling and heat similtainiously

The sensual
Material

World

One day..ya try 10 atms
None werking
Next day try th first..it gives abundantly.
Not even ya state bank!...
Friendly dude selling chineese crap fer girls outside. Wee glitz mirrors n stuff. Trash.

This country runs on trash bling..and munted trucks...bellys in stained singlets..
Smuggled woman in auto rickshaws..
Sarees hideing them..

Expressionistic paintjobs in hotel rooms
Ceiling fan mantra chakras
Throaty throb of th motobike
(Mine dont do that)

Childs emo sheets proclaiming i love you so much..
Its all too much
Theres no hideing.

Good god
Mother allmighty.
This horendous hybrid human mutant circus..desperation n goodwill
Skills n ignorance
Chalm n vulgarity

And thats just me!


Fluttering flag
Clink of suger cane grinder machine
Boys rush up when im asking google where to go
Welcome to my country!

 

 

And some coal powerd neclear facility over there..when that dont shut down..n th infrastructure grinds t halt..itll boil n burn fer decades poisining fer hundreds of miles and sending radiation inta th atmosphere..like fukushima..so all these power plants are death sentences fer..well the world realy. Cos who trusts a govt who cant install sewage or water..but shell b right with neclear waste n emitions.

..privledged lil white boy from clean green land but..yeah..na. were fukd mate.

 

Junior mech..and road gang .its facinating to see cival infrastructure erectected by hand...binary bits of big development..human labour. And the shanti village tent slums they sleep in by th road.

Preyung monk guy..changes mantra to

money money money 

Wen he saw me comming.

Yet field werker old timer..handshakes so gently..theres some resonance..intent

Genuine care..so touched..waves me on my way.


A heron crane flys by
Truck belching soot.

Small town crossroads
AXIS bank delivers

Please hide your secret code
Th computer warbles in pidgeon english

The man at the door has treasure fer all girls! 

Although many look to be rather meek property items..in backs of lorrys or mini van famly full..sardines

hotel highway wedding venue mega plex

Falling apart childlike privatised fantasy

 

Names like

Ocean view (mid india mind you)

Dream laxmi sooper fun holiday

 and

Regency maharaj executive 

 

All some rinky dink decaying theme park dysfunction..sim city game...

 

Its like merchant economic marketing religeon has sectarian spread its capital viral empty dead apendages

 

God gone (or made a party politiccal tribal emblem of statis n authority in th human matrix)

Hungry corpse of illusion wails thrusts on tarmac of global colony.

The outter precincts are called colonys

I can only imagine th mafia don who organised that.

yeah..no movie

Novel

Culd sum up the existential crisis of this modern trash empire..

 

Egg burger hut dudes seem cool with it all.

Low income vendors..not there problem how the mighty shit over everything.

 

Theres tea on th hiway tho

And shiva on th menu who toots

(The menu is also frontage..they wont serve much..gruel n fryd bread and proud)

Woke up this morning..whats the essential nature of man?

Went t sleep listning t ayn rand audio book.

The fountainhead.

 

Yeah wow the public..

Make the work

keep the diy self realisation

Meem alive.

like wow dude

 

you culd have a real n interesting life too

As jail inmate nzild corp

 

Dont expect much fraturnal communication..real unreal battles..feverd self innitiation pilgrimages.

neural edumicational reference building architechture language reality 

Obedience chip set 

Well is there any other? 

 

Whats arts werk?

Why are we here this side of maybe?

How many chances ya got?

 

 

Youll get dirty be very lonly

afraid and then

Itll change...

And change

Youll

be the change..self defineing the software.

 

Fractal unknowable god self in fragile self aware feedback loops..holograms built by the core directive..

 

The weak cowardly n conformist..will deny n try hold ya back....rationalist square paddock profit motive..white bread.

Damn...posthuman  skitzo diatribe

mollest me imagination

 

Self soul planet..

 

Ape fertiliser!

 

Christ neo..

 

Thems who ..disavowed the soul 

self..becone th imprint forced inta them

A suicide of moral integrity...

To class money..and ownership.

Externals...telling you who to be.

Propper normal goid.

family

work

Career

a well desighnd self.

Totally safe.

 

Lifes what happens when we are buisy makeing plans

And god laughs..

Or something like that.

..

Ahh down a litre of water

Some mango juice

Road bus appocalips..drink alot of water.

Very good.

 

The guy at the restraunt had a shrine fer a handsome young guy..garlands hang

Maybe some priest

Some guru

Na..my brother shot himself in head.

Black look in his eyes.

Ahh sorry man..thanks fer shareing

 

Mine too..hung himself 

i makes neck gestures.

 

We still alive eh! I say.

 

So as long as only some works from a specific sanctiond period...under the dead wrappings of a emotionly illiterate used car sales man..from some booshwaa richy rich colony 

Yes only some works..he realy was a bit much

We cant tollerate one

Who trys..

makes us so ...uncomfortable.

 

Whats yer essential nature?

Ego 

Consciousness light dark..

Cave

Shadow

Illusion ..

freedom.

cos its gonna end..real soon

This is it..

None of it is ours..its all phenomina

Art acts that language out..inturnally..

Expands contracts..tests boundrys

Gets it wrong..

may if its lucky..get t be itself.

But we know what happens to children that are them selfs dont we.

 

 

I made it to a beaten up hotel motel.

Establishd eventually i needed a room.

Got one. I offerd tarif as they didnt understand.

Equally..huge kitchin goin on..

Couldnt order..thru sign language they didnt understand i wanted dinner.

..

But over n over in a mobbed way..where you from what country where u going..single?

Family?

No..im a genetic endtimes story. 

 

Pretty sun set.

This guy in th dribbling shower bucket bath.

 

 

Crazy bus road..some festival.

Chai boys burns.

OH LOOK DICK FRIZZELS SELLING SINGLETS IN INDIA.or boys..maybe its a clone toy sex doll?..made out of nz wine n native hardwood?

Im sure the babyboomers apprietiate the waterd down frontage of a advert exec n his consumate taste.

Its so ...so...human to be a artist isnt it.

Love our property portfolios and  winerys by the beach..

 

Round them all up..plastic bags over there heads

Gaffertape..make them werk in a prison youth rates

 till they pay off every cent of every student loan n inflated mortgage in th land.

Sell there body parts to the chineese..

Experiment on there corpses fer the longevity drug ..

 

Ban there litriture n art 

Kill therr progeny

Freeze assets

 

Haha were such a idealistic christian colony..everythings fine in skitzaphrenic alchoholic pedaphile lie land.

..

Keep picking the scab..youll never heal.

 

So WHATS THE ESSENTIAL NATURE OF MAN THEN MAN?

 

Well probly let a supercomputer werk that out fer us..install the bio port..hook up the nano particulats

Obey ...we shouldnt havta think..feel.

We just need money .. .

Oh some say love .connection

Meaning..

 

What we are to others

 

What we are to ourselfs..

 

Can you be with ya self?

 

Broken?

 

Wrong?

 

Unbearable?

 

What are ya then..

Forget about all that other shit

The people in ya head..

Echos of others

 echos of others

Hooking on identity deferral ..

Fish in water dont know water

 

Strip it down.

Whats left.

 

Its a scary crazy exciting time t be alive

All these ideologys 

Collapseing..

Being unconsciously made for us by unseen hands..manipulated.

 

Toward goals ..

 

Society class ownership

Selfhood

 

Faciesm

 

Totalitarian one world government

 

Death management.

 

Blink blink

Were not on a train to the gas chamber are we?

 

As long as you serve a use to the regeime

And never mention the regeme.

Play along..

We care for you.

People are good..

Hell life is sacred..

(Only the bits we controll mind)

 

Narrow the slits down to hand held devices

A beurocratic intelligence test of servility

 

Every time i ask a hotel or whatever if theres mosquitos they say no

I get big fukn welts from mosquitos.

So..

There liers. 

Bastards!

 

Om shanti.

 

Hotel from hell.

Drunk guy wanders inta m room at midnight telling me chipattis are ready.

Walls exude days heat..so its over 40 lieing still sweating on lumpy matress
N
If th door in window open to get th moderate temp lower outside ya get bitten by bugs.

I almost thumpd th drunk guy..
But settled fer yelling and brandishing a fist.
Just walks in while im trying t asleap half naked..with cell phone to take images it lookd like.

Couldnt get food last night..although they wrre cooking.

There real friendly...but..dumb?

Language problem.

Gee havta try n not be a reactive prat this morn8ng.

Im not very gracefull when im a fetish object to every mustached alpha in a turbin..

So very little sleep..

Whinge complete 

 

 

 

Right..

Creating language

as gene host

Cosmic agent of fractal cosmos

 

Victor of eternal battles..

un needed to win

 

Nourashing

Intelligence

Primacy adaptive 

Experiential being

 

Nothing something

Magnetic electro

Relationship

Wholely

Exist to contribute gifts

As we find each other

Is the self

Well the shanty shack guy with rice n pakora n unemployed guys hangin round. Acturally stepped up n gave me food!

Restaurants on th other hand..repeatedly time after time..i place a order..and nothing happens. Even when i make it 3xplicitly clear.  

So i eat on th street..cos apparently fourteen guys need to pass the buck fer ever to cook a guy pancake n generic curry mush...

Even swankyish hotels ignore me..i dont get it..i loose the plot..raise m voice..get angry..storm off..so hard to get served.

Street guy vendor..kinda gets the fact humans need food..he relys on it.

Yay little guy..

Like werking kiwi painters..in enacted inturnal gesticulated process..

We deliver the goods eh.

Real estate 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bbc werld telling me how it is fer me

in 

Me cell

Rest coupla days...

 

Slow down

Be..

Tulsi drops

Mail a diary home to ya friend

Jesus ya show off ya got one!

 

Dont drink th scum water even if ya boil it

Get a stainless steel kettle.

Big event 

Have a poo.

 

Think..feel..

 being smaller
Observant
Reverent inside..self care

Makes it all less work
.more..wonderfull.

Its getting that mix eh.assertion n hustle

N flow n acceptance..

Pple have totally been stareing at me


Its not bothering me as much

Funny feeling fer a often paRanoid guy..
But its acturally real ya kind know where y at.
Pple think n act all different ways.

Some kindly
Sone jaw drops
Some stare zombie rude
Some hand goes out automaticly
Some ignore ya..just another person
Some look ashamed
Some smile n laugh
Some look like ya confronting them personally with ya existence
Some smirk like
What you doin here ?
Others look agrieved n incredulous like i violated them.

Strange ol gig...ghetto tourism.
Officially it aint a ghetto
But...looks like one t me...
But people are pple..
Same same...

 

the ten thousand things

We notice on THE WAY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Increadably decent chap in man mani hotel...super cheep.

Telling me of th sights..

Ok i had t clean th last guys cig buts on th floor n poos of th loo bowl..

But th fan werks good

I got hbo lobotomy if i want..

..

Road was easy tday too..

Musta been that extra qi gong i did yestaday

or the holy tulsi basil.

 

Travel is strange now

I could be any where it all seems like the same place..

A congealing matrix of feudal poverty

Increadably uglee civic infrastructure looking mostly maori job ish

(I say that with a human pride)

..demolition aesthetic

Dirt

Petro robot

Digital edumicational cluster of compounds..dark grimy tea shacks

Cows faceing down busses..on moterway

A marrage cult like primary school architype implant

Trucks laiden with village field werkers

Eye contact from behind his helmit..grin

 

Psychic mirror

Foreighner hooning in black on black bike

That smileing teen 

May never get to do this..probly not.

 

Yet above me theres suv of wealthy raj dudes who obviously own the rd.

 

Were all playing out our parts in th world show

Outter world of appearances anyway.

Is that attitude born of my mental privledge aswell?

 

I wonder at these school complexs..boasting pictures of of serious pravatninananda who got 92 % in his maths exam..boosting the schools reputability n commercial viability.

 

Spoze they want more for there kids ..

Than ghetto trash town. 

Maybe they dont see it?

Dunno..

 

Dunno..

I dunno..

 

Pick up trash at th beach..

Try not to voice negativity as much

or if ya do

dont identify it as ya self 

Its just toxic mood self justifications leeching

 

Its all energy

Ya trap ya self

Hmmm

 

Something profound..ummmm

Oh yeah

Forgive ya self

Not as a pass to a bad person

But as a unfolding of the inevidable totality of the good ya cant doom cos its the thing seeing as ya.

 

In ya heart..

And sun

Blood

Atom..thingy.

 

The introspective information we have today about th nature of reality

Of self

Should not be narrowly controlled to a irrigation ditch fer big agri geneticly modifyed seed monoculture.

 

Hmm the play of the child

As nature..intelligence

Imagination dream

Makeing in the physical.

 

Weve secret knowledge at our metaphysical taste buds..like no other age

Its awe inspireing

What we can focus on

Like a god

Of divination

Biology

Physics

Astronimy

Chemistry

 

This stuff is mans language form of incremental understsnding to the whole.

 

Sacred..even.

 

It seems theres forces of destruction

And creation at play..or war

In our souls..culture civilisation

Unconscious material from ancient times

Cycling on n on

 

Not gonna get all sidhartha onnit

But

At source..

at source..

We must come from. Energy

Being

Non being.

 

Its practicle as it is theological

Pollution self harm

Greed poverty sickness suffering

Money

Privite public

Corruption

Abuse

Ignorance

Theft

Jelosy.

Envy

Conflict..

 

We have vantage points now..as the elite ancients couldnt have drempt of..

 

How does a actualised free 

Kind compassionate successfull healthy 

Process take hold.

 

Immune responce

Shock evolutionry choice

Underpinning of socialised structure of me

Retaining identity unique..

Genome time wave

Esculating

 

Death

Light

Self

 

Time

 

My

All

Your

 

Few to many tangents  unresolved clearly

Something

 

We serve a sence of something nessesary with our lives

Call that searching if ya want

Or hope

Or fear of missing out..

 

Not to know th implications

Of this time

Or life

Not to aprehend the living information 

as it is

Precious

Revolting 

 

Is to not be open

 

Gotta be open to th muse

Ya dont tell  it

Ya listen ya notice

Or ya kill it

Scare the majic away

 

Ya ray beam of narrow measurement n linear assumptions

As to who you are.

 

Shells made by other pples storys in ya.

 

Intuition

Synchronisity

Feeling

Yes even the depression

Rage grief hate n 

Lost innocence..

 

Maybe not lost

If wonder

And majesty

N terror even...

Exist in us.

 

Not post human

Concrete fly overs

Economic religeo brainwash

Priest of spin 

 

But that too is the world story

 

whats most true remains

What isnt true dies.

 

Is death th end?

Hitching a ride on anothers vaulnerability in a moleculer soup ..

Smaller dimentions squashing labratorys into patents.

 

I dont know

 

I like listening to credable ideas..

 

I think media is a miopia device of distortion..

Creating the reality we believe in and in turn make.

 

I make reactive feedback loops of not looseing myself

Suddenly theres a steller nursery

And 

Veils shift in the apocalips..

 

Ok

Thats enough

 

Humans

Were drawn to these objects of fantasy..
That
Display aspects of imaginary .
.possability

Of our power to create manifest asx nature does
As proof were as good as naturr
Better..as god!

I dunno about that..
But seems to be th theme..
Mass
Escapeism...with th richest offering th grandist bullshit to justify there spot.

Is it inverse to attainments inner in a collective sence..?

One reflects tother.

Is th grandiosity..realy a secreation between worlds of a higher dimention form guideing us ?

Is that th battle field of our souls
Culturally..collectivly.

Indians seem pretty sure of them selfs there routines beliefs ritualised customs..
Secure might be a word..nestled in religeon..famly..state....

The western outsider type..
We
Cultivate dis belief..
.
Leaveing effemera...lots of whirling inputs...
Phantoms..

Its alot like a collapseing sence of self
A dieing...empire...
Or something.

Family disolution

deconstruct self..

maluable vaulnerable

medicated

Dependant...isolated

Or re assessing..as a new skin thinks itself growing on th feverd planet..
If that
Lasts more than a tech neural aluminium layer on a choclate is another story...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shoe covers fer holy marble.

 

Isnt it amazeing what ancient trillionares can do for ththere big virtue signal with all there slaves...like a hedron collider a moon base...pet grooming chainstore franchise..

 

Well i cryd at th taj.

More a exhausted self pitying  existential futility ..and lonly alienation of shit bag country over pop petrol digi economy hustle ..swearing at touts again..yelling at dudes who push in front of ya in ine

Or th jeeps that bear down on ya screeming there horn with all that class urgancy.

Its a paradox..hard not to be a tourist when im a tourist..but then im part of the mechanism that fuels the awfull tourist industry..makeing countrys inta theme parks and pple into consumers.

 

The road seems like a primitive ego animal extention..

Reversion

Where I "I" AM GOING ...AM GETTING THERE

AHEAD OF YOU! 

all mes pushin n slipping over each other

Both skillfully and manipulativly opportunist..with lots of risk..

But th telepathic  flow capacitor seems t orchistrate a benevolent out come

Forceing me

No..suggesting to me in evidence based observation and participation the wizdom of her ways..

This serpentine mutation of foul toxicity ever revving multitude

Never look while pulling out..crossing th road

With ya whole extendard family on ya scooter ..laxidaisicly meanders cutting ya off..1000 times a day

Arrogant stupid fucktards!

Thanks fer having me tour thru yer awsome shit hole of hell country and look after me good and also i respect you all do things yer own special way

MORON BASTARD PRICKS

LIFES precious

So we assume everyone else wont kill us on the road.

Ive got a european made black helmet n padded jacket with armour bits

 

Im being very conservative with my telepathic flow ..and...not lashing out too much..hell i even give way lots...smile at the expressionless stares that follow me.

 

INSTINCTIVE INDIVIDUALISM petro doller extinction soul slavery harvest.

 

We all get privledges sure..from the machine madness..but th cost..

Im so far from th hippy organic spiritual dree thinking anarcho commune art radical village of utopian elitist fantasy

 

And round here the cost of this modernity looks like slum hell.

 But someone some systemic extention is still makein money from this..atrocity.

Make babys make babys

 

Get t holy ganges

Oh right th neclear power facility on th river is closed n n all guest houses full

With werkers

 

But a shitty wee place with nice boys running it..

do have a spare spot..yay. turns out its ok fer 8$ a night.

 

So..cummin up against my own crap alot here..as much as the place.

Cos as much as i hate it

And i do..

INDIA IS A ABSOLUTE SHIT HOLE

No question.

I feel im a witness fer immanent heat death..cum crop failure infrastructure collapse..ahem 

 

As much as its a cruddy grunge broken corrupt rubbish pile of skellitons on th take

Its also full of increadable moments friendly

Faces ..goodwill kindness..as everyone is in on th big joke of the facade of civilisation iz a thin illusion

To our soul story in th as the material 

Dunno..

So..even tho im a cunt and i hate it

Im 

Forgiven when i see im a cunt..and try a different attitude in th next interaction.

Reaction..come from a different me

In that way..we know ourselfs

Adversity forces evolution?

Hmmm na thats a bit linear sounding

Its not a moral pyrimid to protect th ego from any wrong doing

There is no wrong doing..just echos plucking strings on echos in deeper folds in time n memory loop programming

Wow called "self"

So many of them in here

Fluid faceted..illusionry

But still a form unto its self

This self..

 

Nature is probly the best analogy..in describeing this.

Leaf floating down stream 

My friend says a bit. Meaning a certain fatilism of character n acceptance sirrender i guess.

 

Im pretending im a horse man of th apocalips drivin round one of the oldest human cultures around.

I could be!

 

Just get me to the soma dude!

Need my kundalini awakening right!

 

Na..crappy sweet tea n bad food..thats fine.

Acturally four days of no shitting

And i finally made a deposit in the government neclear facility..which was

Immaculate 1950s village military look.

Full of personel  gaurds n moppers

All glad of a job i spoze that lookd like sitting around. Lotta official sitting around in india.

The road was bent n potholed like scabs a thousand years old..busses n frail old men on old style bikes..oblivious to th bus

Jesus theres a baby in th road

Ill just slowly go around that item.

Roads are kinda communial it seems

Every one gets a point of valid obstruction

 

My life matters!

By implyed threat to its safty 

In the public theatre

Of road.

And commerce at that reptile end of the spectrum.

 

 

This is a guy ironing.on th road.

Dont say hinduism isnt progressive..