this was a hour long interview by Tanya robinson and kristy coxabout my india trip.

I since have become a co host with tanya (no relation) on arts hub.

A picture diary till i get to port chalmers..final leg.

A video walk thru with me.

Of the show at Warwick Browns Ellerton Gallery sun 30 sept 2018

https://youtu.be/kZtfXXIYs10

https://youtu.be/OJsJZxHRMrs

(M tsar)

https://www.russellbrand.com/podcast/050-systems-damned-charles-eisenstein/

https://youtu.be/prv7gz4a1ao

in this residency

Like any post modern asshat academic student

We wank about being self centred twats agoniseing on our childish obsessions.

Property

Girlfriends

Profit

Our egoic statis in th hive

Georgus blogposts in disposable hybrid de evolutionry gymnastic decaying social moral relavancy

Ignoreing

feats of countercult surveilance state irony liguistic terrorisms by consent

Its fantastic...

Beutifull massive harbour tidal swells..

More water flowing in to bay of fundy than all rivers in werld combined..while its happening ...they say.

Nonesuch kickshaws main and station

Parrsborro nova scotia.

Lotsa huge ol buildings

Rambling beat bookshop

Strewn with art sculture painting print

Big gallery upstairs

Foodie host

Cabins on cliffs

Friendly (older demographic)

Locals.

I thrown up a wee studio installation of drawing minitures i done on way.

Had a open studio (nonone visited)

This place reminds me of

Invercargill ..whanganui...port chalmers

All in one.

Ive a church bell tower studio too

And a actural church inside to show in

(Who ever will see it god knows)

Im processing such alot of feelings thinking

Awarenesses ignorances

Styles

Possabilitys

Known

Unknowable

Despair futility

Hope

Am i for example light in being ..transindental visiter in flesh suit

or dark?..frustrayed nihilism critic judgement n assumption

Who are we

Trapped.

Or bravely self aware co creaying with life

My pre occupations return most often to feeling inculcated in a chemicle prison of psychic conformity

State

Economy

School....orwellian ...

But even this is a kinda privledged luxury

Wonder abounds in th non assumptive

Th infinite unknowable th subtle n eternal

Th logos is present in every turn of th spiral of time

Even distopian controll empires!

But in this

Its only ever about me

Th risk of free thought experiential elf identification

Or indeed...trying to shed that..mask of false self

Is

Like the earnest monk

So contrived in being a monk...spiritual pride..of th ancient drop out caste of seekers after truth

Renounces n becomes one again with 5h human drama

Fucks fights screws gets drunk

Maybe with twinkle in eye.

No ones saying im there..

I wanna be good!

Get possessed by "bad"

The arts a shadow may of th divine drama

Of some relic of art self awareness

Before..google n yer psych meds did it fer you.!

Yep...de huminify th human n what you got?

A chip ready bio chemicle ai accessory.

Borg!

Still..here i am.

Palm council wanking on th interface all about it!

Reading some books on past intellectals in recrnt history th dim times before innernet you understsnd.

They discussed things..interms of other masters

Francis of assisi..

Neitzure

Etc

The dark light wobble of what to make

How to make

The past technique retinue of assumed possables.

Th need of a cohearant psychic body being manifest

And if i do..will it only condemn me like they tend too

When shared as work in th gallerys.

I still think a earnest effort like lived philosophy..and weather

And the way we experience our "self" is nessesary

Its holy ground

Not socialised conformist subroutines of controll n being controlled..

But

Ineffiable attempts of freedom

Re search

Re creation

Th loons are th ligitimate froth of automated social body..we were spozed to be liberated !

Not castrated in debt pyrimid scheme!

To know soul

Even to keep that...layerd transpersonal concept of self alive

Th map....

Th econo sci religeon of faciest mind correct...

Dont want ya to have beating heart..do that in ya own time

As homeless

As addict

As medicated housewife.

Na..arts political

Spiritual

Emotional

Mental

Historic

Pre cognitive

Reality creation on micro n macro level

What artists do reachs inta th soft dream of collectivity dormant slumber n ...summons spirit to manifest

Re member

Alter past future memory to activate potentials in th chaos field

All potentials

Work...then

Valuable beyond measure.

As is

A child born

A death earnd.

As is breath

Its all total illusion...and dust t dust.

Language time and integrity.

Just werkin out what t make n how.

I believe in it

Th reality is also as futile n destructive

Dangerous n empty..

Th rageing beast of unconscious cognitive dissonance is there

Th conflict in heacen

In ne

Th gene disorder of our species

Who ate me

Who made me

What am i

Can we realy make ourselfs or but re act.

"You think too much" is leveld at me

But i probly dont think enough

Or sharp enough.

But..think feel

Need a sphere of expanding contracting reference

On a most unlevel playing field.

Begin again daddy

I made that.

Does Satan wear jandals I wonder?

.Show quoted text

Absatotally.!He invented emDiscarded copious amounts like confetti in india recent decades goneAnd has set up considderable strongholds of jandal production in chinaAs well asThe material mamalian mytho spheric dna fuse weld chromosome Jupiter moon.YepMake no mistakeSatan isJandle wearingHimalayan mountain passSperm warriorPyrimid scheeme trash cycloneTourism preditorExtreemophile!Gape cam Armiment adaptiveNeurological optic transferrancePeptide ass cream.Cann i get a good

God damn!

Mediochre product producerOr andPublic skitzaphrenicFool heyoka HmmmmStopMAKEING SENCENothins as it should beOr as it seemsAccept it as it wasControll the potential non duel narritive assumption delusion Hypothetical desire cloudBiochemicle meat puppetConscious radio antennaCodmic god mind Abortion clinicPart time lapdancer.Woof

Hey! Hi!

(A chum dispences artistic block -sage advice i asked her for..said advice as follows. However..it will only werk for me

No one else)Welcome to the world of Le Cafe Art Bottom where many a creative sifts about scratching chin....it’s a crowded scene amongst the procrastinatory!....and a place you never earned your stripes......what with being a complete workaholic and go getter from the outset, a rare breed to be sure……Sage advice follows:Sneak out of an evening trimming horse tails......Fashion self an eeeeeeeeenormous horse paintbrush......Leave said brush in mysterious locales round town over subsequent six weeks.....On forth to last day wander through town in a teal satin ball dress paying willing passers by $5 each to wander behind you pied piper styles for eight hours.....Mind control yer minions to stretch the canvas between two trees in the town square.....Be seen in town napping on couches in furniture stores.....lobbies etc.....Wander into supermarket with bowl and spoon eat muesli n yoghurt n browse the aisles......Last day, pack everything, make sure hair is MASSIVE.....wander naked into paint shop, buy large tin of paint in exact shade as ballgown....Run charging past previously stretched canvas screaming RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH like a Berserker entering battle, swing horsehair brush above head like a whip and at speed.....Leave one M.Gimblet styles mark....Without pause grab pack a run to edge of town....Hitch hike into the distance leaving naught but a handscrawled note saying.....’I Was ‘Ere $13,750’Fly to New York.It’s the only sensible path.

Bing..

--------------$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$--------------------

ill keep

"Yer a real go getter " as a keeper comment.Sigh....That crouded cafe..Of lonly echosOf needy attention ..n shatterd dreams n Looming shadowsTh cafe of bitter remorse coffeen fettid cake of disapointmentBagal of self recriminationArrrr were thy cafe a nat geo wall collage strewn psychedelic wholefood stoner gathering with teepeeNLefty intellectualsFeverishly lecturing on moral undertones of strip malls n school system curriculum

N ardent evangalical spiritualists ..Prosthletiseing a retro wholism.around arc angel micheals glittering ministry on th astral planeI lie naked in th mudSwim against th tide!My undies ashore Sea mist..And thunder in distance ..True story!!!YepSwum in tide cummin in..nekid away from folksWas strong!! Be carefull.

Then some peanut butter mudslide icecream in a cone

I call this work.

This is a rather hideous rendering of a local indiginous pples (the micmak)

Creater giant divine guy hero (like maui)

From 1972! In fiberglass

And very suspect cobbler fashion.

Unsure if he is a insult or honour to the old people.

None th less 18 feet high

Red as a raped ass

And bit like freddy cooger.

He might be doing qi gong!

I should do mine.

Its funny how the things that mean the most..

Are lost in th telling..when we focus on something seriously it kinda gets killed.

How many shows or pieces ive made end up looking like outsider trash?

When my intent was high

Process long n genuine arduous n revelatory..

And its this hokey kitch remnant of bygone human art nostalga surperfluous to any currant contemporary inmate of culture.

Oh cheer up man

Yer not digging potstoes fer your lord and master in th bogs now are ya..

Are ya?

Cant sleep again .Realy bad here. In this house.I mean ...its all peachy just..Cant make anything either.Probably cos its not my place.Logistics nightmare.And just such a rabbit hole of neurosis makeing work at all!I just dont have th energy.Its so much work for nothingFar away.I want t give up.I know theres work in me..I see it.Just sick t fuk of th screwy art werld MyselfOver compensatingUnder performing missing th markNot knowing what im.doingMature objective target abstract metaphysical scapes Being this fuking fringe outsider guy when thats not who i am.Oh then being arrogant or self centred cos ive ambition.or a sence of me ownPotential.I miss home.I just cant be fukd investing myself into another disasterAnd paying for it .Just being rational.Dont know if i got it..Cant sleep

-------------------------

Dino saur rock atlantic

Cant sleep

Friendship

Thinking talking too much

Feeling th past

Scanning th ego project

In

Blessed receivers

Rat burrow

Humid

Thinking too much

Garlic

Sore throat

Not used to so many social stuff n personalitys

Friction

The pacific university

Flying

Everywhen

Potentials

Hello sir.(So sorry i forgot your name!)Ive been meaning to write.I met you briefly th day before th show in te manawa gallery palmerston north new zealand december 2017.Th big climate change / abstract expressionist..exhibition.(For short walk thru video have a look at the link on my website homepage Www.jamesrobinson.nz.HOW IS YOUR WRITEING?AND BOOK TOUR.So ive been travelling THE WORLD.India ..6 months. On royal enfield bike.Himalayers.Egypt.IcelandNow in a rural beatnick private art residency in nova scotia. Am sleeping in and studioing inA old church. HugeOrgan ..stain glass..th works.Ive a bell tower room.Also the bay of fundy canadaHas the largest tides in the world.SoIf i can get my shit together to makeMythicly..intuitivlyPoeticlyIm thinking of a show. Around themes of oceanCapitalism extinction displacement migrationFaithEnvironmentIdentityFragmentationHeroismFailure defeatSicknessSpiritHealingGrief LossAnd gainGodGODD..!SELFROBOTIC FACIEST WAR iN TH DEVILFleshBeingTimeGravityLightWaterWatwrWaterLightIdeaPlay!!!!!!!!!Graphix in dada mind map surrealism and organic stain fabric banners loose flowing.The hosts run a paper buisness. Fine art paper.Look..i am not sure why im writeingI think its a portent To have met you at th outset of this Fools carbon rich white man walk about.God bless you sir!Mr james francis robinson.(Ahem..james was given from my mum digging this beatnic prophet international counter culture poet in nz JAMES K BAXTERFrancis..from assisiAnd robinsonA dutch label..but ive acturally researched whatRobin son means.I was ancestrily a product of a orgiastic singles fuck fest in th woods between villages.Ritually.As in a robinWas a mix up meeting..moon..breeding plan..gene pool selection Europe.A son was a child from that intercourse communial process.FACINATING!!!

-so so so so so

Wrong

Not this guy in particuler

But is granpa a jewdeo bearded skitxoid war god incesting n slavin with impunity thru th known universe?

Mmm

What if ya a native kid on drugs

With alcholic extended family n bad obese diet?

Grandpa..

Family structure

Cultural sentence structure syntax

And

Haha

Cognition of shapes dimentions meaning

But

Th thin thread

Kindness

Love

That jesus meem of transindental human

Wisdom

Wisdom

Sophia

A goddess.

Eh

Who made granpa?

And who made sophia?

And CAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALLREADY

WHAT THE UNIVERSE SITS IN!!!

arrrrr

Ripe fruit energy fall

Species wide

Rot

Mytho centric narcistic

Pan dimentional uplink

Shhhh go clean ya room boy

See

Way of the infinit explorer

From his

Audio cleaver

By

Neil kramer.com

Inviteing the PRIME xmas card of all times in a actural intimate gesture of what can only be fairly termed intentionalFeline ejaculate!

After your aged burmeese cat pisses on your face ...again!You ol pussy man you.Yes emminent usa prof types interest meYou Failed FAILEDto include a credible link fer my paroosal.I have very limited connection..so not realy able to media indulge...my apols.I did colkect string rope from a remote beach today with chinese american art acadrmic today had a booshy lunch which was excelkent.Im watching obese people selling cake to obese people at a chain coffee shop being awfully chatty n so nice.Mmmm im sickagain.With a fluStressLack of sleep very low energy Head spin tryi g to sort out what to make how..Underlieing it..isIts not acturally ok to make here in a serious way. Its a bohemian fantasy about being part of th the brick a brac fantasy art dumpster collection.Residrncy woman yelled at me portentiously as i was about to start..after a long qi session.My minds been scrabbling at expectations..techniques time frame.Great buildings.Full of crap.And there tendrals everywhere. Which resilt in me moveing a pile of crap..to acturally eat at th kitchen propper...th crap was important aparently...in th middle of th kitchen eh.Sigh. I keep moveing allover to multipke beds..its hot its coldThis matress sucks this is lumpy.The intent to start..to invest...was there.I was just gunna start.And she yells..screems.Shes a stress case..multitasker..who has a ability to freekme out and although theres friendlyness too.Its ambiguous boundrys..money space Duration of residrncy.I mean its great fer a visit. But too much like a private dopefreeks sprawling kingdom in th wops.With the lack of boundrys. Psychicly.I oppologised profusely..and argued that there stuff was e erywhere..if i was to ask to move anything then..i would be asking about e ery fuking step!So its not a professional residency.Its a clusterfukd cafe.A beatnick gallery.Alot of shitty leaking buildings they got for nothing.A church.A cluster of artists comeing n going to have dinners.A girls conflab.Shit.I over invested in a headcase fantasy.Mine..aswell as theres.Still...th area is nice. Th tides are real.Least i had god tell me before i started..its not ok.I been worryd obsessivly fer a week about it.Maybe something else comes up.Im fukd not sleepingSick again...eating good. Lots garlic.Still infected tho.Fuk n fuk n fuk.More 1000s lost.Whaf ever.Keep th faith.FUCKING ASS CUNT ART WORLD EH

------------------

Coffee shop psychic wifi on!

A writer woman waiting fer a massage sits down purple t shirt.

Turns out shes adopted a bhutineese bhuddist kid.

We talk around metaphysics environment art writeing researchers ect

Then i go next door and equally engage with th cathlock opshop church woman in theological rambles..which there quite fluent in!

Never in nz would this happen.

I heard about satan even! Excellent stuff.

Hes especially active in summer im told from th wize old duck.

Ahhhh antiginaosh...weird lil place.

Bigot pop (literally yall)

Just balld my eyes out with my rideTalkin about my mother.Conflict with hostsTriggers.I got this amethist hematite combo crystal from local woo shop as momento.Proported healing grounding propertys.Art prof erin en route to sculpture prof bf then toronto ..talkin bout her mum..her kids...Im talkin bout my mum..you..Me as a kid..I totally connected with the love i had fer my mum as a boy.

The total awsomeness of woman as protector provider in there prime with family

Glue of the universeTh strength n nobility of my mum..my utter belief in her awsomenessProtectionEctAnd of course all th wounds in there that wernt addressed...and how rough it was being a kid semi abandondWith skitz dad violence in me..mums promiscous sex ..my sexial abuseOut financial stressI wasnt protectedBut i adored my mother.I totally sobbed in this car...big theropy wracking snot blubs.Cos i missed my mumAnd love.Famly...all th stuff i dont get with being angry n hurt.So th crystal ..Th sleep deprivation th huge tides of th areaTh disfunctional art hosts..My Bizzare psychic topography..And good kind mature company..Totally amazeing woman.Detatched but present.Ran a being present drawong workshop .Yeah.I feel ok.Im good.Im a good good good man person.And that kid who acts out..At unfair flakey boundrys...See..He is safe with me.He realy is.OkPsycho reportDone.Campingvtonight.

Canadas endless highways of chain store replicant no choice consumer heaven.

Hmmm

Vast bigness comfortable the same the same same n same.

Hmmmm

Monolithic borg collectives...

Hmmm

Little bit scared..but ah...safe.

The homeless screems follow up to my 19th floor

Terrortorial yelps mostly from hominids

I understand..th rest of us just more nuanced n coded in our complicit cowardardice usually before reverting..

But whatta i know

I do believe in our extra angel capacity

Before satan lord dark pope lucifer put salt in th water n all.

Mumble knowledge snakes

Mumble

Speaking of snakes

Get hypnotised!

been heart tuggd by torontos homelessGot old dude a coffee n cookie A young pregnant girl some company n change..Yeah..humbling.Heres meJet settingShopping at home trying t Buying vans

Showing art in parliment! Via mz speedy

Bless her.

Mental health youth suicide thing.

Mmmm

Theres a gathering storm..

"Tronna"

From student dorm robo hive

Where we dont look up from th phone!

Me wife be eater as doodle backdrop photo shoot.

Gulp

I’m sure you could human traffick the homeless person and the meth addict and have them taxidermied for The Turner Prize.Art NZild would have you casually leaning against a wall with an earthenware coffee mug on the summer edition cover 2019....It’d be fabulous darling...The Prime Sinister could open the show, let wee Neve, daughter of THE NATION nibble on their toes like a non vegan husk.

Sacred and the profane.(from anals of the dead necrophilliac TWANKY the potentially best secretary a man never had)The carnival has become quite grotesque has it not?The compulsion to glance over a shoulder as one walks away from the universal debasement is nil.Somewhere between a bedazzled vagazzle and the bhurqa the pendulum rests with dignity.The guttural cultural slatternfest does many a dullard make.Or somesuch.Modesty is The! New! Shock’n’Awe!I think Rohan Weallans pushed me over the edge.*sigh*Slaughter the beast on a shrine at Ivan Anthony Gallery. Canapés will be served.How gross we have become....and I’ve had a go too.Ugh

Eagle carrys the one of the 7 grandfather teachings and the preyers of the people to the creator.

Never realy got citys..

Seem disposable n somehow vacant.

Fulla these stains ghosts residual tribul communial identitys of th humansBig rectangles push up in sky...a concrete hive drone..Some code of anonimity in cool facades..Glances scans..smiles knowings in a microsecond.Constructed virtual life...at a inhuman scale..Makes me question this species viability..Realy. How can thousands...of these citys...exist..without consequence?Non th less...Here we are..us humans.With our memorys n longings and addiction n wounds n our pride and beuatyOur stupidity n childishness.Here we are at all.Theres a oversoul..A known n knower.Theres a different time and place...IntersectingTravelling to other peoples realitys doesnt seem real..somehow.Like its all a illusion they dont understand is just a facade...Is that my privledge..of channel changeing?Probably...we take it with us..Th culture th storyBut grains of something inbetween get lodged innus..a common humanityA seriously stupid civilisation that only will give way to emergent higher propertys of our true selfs.Thats my hope...Im not bemoaning midernity so much as..Well...I need to believe in something..We dont seem to have a purpose..Anymore.The air of limited expectation in th certain collapse..I understamd the need n love of god..I do.As blood pushsAs breath is drawn in and out.As th galaxy turnsAnd light baths us from distant starsSpins orbits and dark mysterys of the abyss and our own death..The elemental majics of decay and nature ..Of spirit and travel.Reconcileing the ancient paleo hunter gather indiginous self..in famly tribe and unifyed self community n environment Non being anything other than the self aswell..To this...agrocultural digital hybrid mechsnised economatrix sci factoid newtonian reductionistic mental logical Paradime...endless statis protocols and justifying ya self...DunnoIs there anywhere t get?Other than what we are?AliveLifeFractal symptom of universeSpore..seasonal bloom between crustal bi polor swings..A viral bloom enginairs its own ascendancy..can birth n traima ..multitudes perishing..And floods fires disease n famine reset th ballance..Why am i never realy at home in my timeIn my countryIn myself.In this world.Dont get me wrong...greatfull beyond measure when i stopStopAnd know what this I AM isAnd then it all falls into a omnipident blink of fated curiosity..laughing bhuddha type mystic shit..The cosmic giggle as terrance mckenna would say.But still..relentless..mechsnised chainstpre retail cult brand fetish identity smothering cloaking device of judgements burkaThen need want n want n want.We forget who we areWhere were from..How to liveHow to liveBe wellLove n be loved.Just chatted with a very large kenyan man about international affairs n local african geo politics n china investments ect....for ages...70 pc unemployment! Whoa■He too felt strange travelling in north america...a land not his own.We...both laughd about being owned by th queen.

So ironic

And then ya anonimous un banker

Carbon me up ..if only

Im in james townSaint james church graveyard...Past james cooper mansion with th wolfs n inverted wolf sculpture.

Past the our lady..of primitive vaginal universal birth canal shrine.

Cicada..and small plane..and rustle of sacred oakWind WondBreeze of breath from creatorRustles the leafsOneFallsOnMyHeadWhile i do squats n Lift chi up pour chi down..And lie flat..On the grass afterBig mother dino crystal.on me noggin whatsit Skull cave.Forehead.Im just beingBeing said as iWe agreed...and felt naked raw presence in sensual ...Wasp like flys on bare feetInTrance noise ambient life sountrack Irreplicable by any drone monkDudes saunter up..Seem good dudes.Maybe a mildly retarded..just a guess.Wass up ..?Weather not so hot tdayYeah..not so hot..isayOh just..doing me ..ahhhPreyer here in th park..You visiting someobecthey ask..Well yeah..haha.=godd i say(I like godd with double ds ya see)Boom! boom!Basil brush.Oh ..ok..yeah doin me chi gong.Wassat.Preyer i say..like taichiOh ok they say.Catcha later bro..!Wee knuckle nudge thing.Nice chaps.Maybe meth smokers?Maybe alterboys Who can tell these days.Chris hedges The world as it isDispatchs about the myrh of human progressAnd Richard dawkinsA dim light? I think.Fell inta my packpack library today.No one reads books in wifi student dorm coffee opiem den innernet room.No one talksNo one looks up.Silent...mental...projections...Whisps of wind in my grave yardCiccadas humm a holographic trance wave broadcast at me...Id like research to be done pleaseIf there receiveing distant star photonic rays..and translating into arabic with there own vibratory function.As i said generouslyFrom the beating heart of christ in meTo the new lie fe guy..Anything is entirely possable sir.I respect your delusionYour right to it!And the chance of its interpretive fact in A rational narritive..But includeing mythraZoroastrianismAndPre christian animism n stoneage fertility worshipYes...christ as universal consciousness..And entomological root werds to tougues we didnt know we had in meanings we forgot were possableSomeone built the temples we didntAnd Certainly divine will As in and from the god goddsAnd Pan spermic spin n thrust cygnus star system mysteryPulsar life sperm spirit worldSpirit worldHeavenStarsAnd lightLight n christ and son of manSonn of woman n blood of life!Trifecta ApolloDionysis RamboShivaThe word n storyThe story n alphabetThe book n libryThe printing press and internetThe codexThe quantumn matter Dark vacuumeFlows of UnknowablePlasma electro universe blood mindEnergyQiOf mind ofChrist the eternal OnsciousnessAndDivine life of AnyAllAnd...not entirely ...stableJames said (the 90s ballad pop band)God made love to meSoothed away my gravityGave me a pair of angel wingsSome visionSome majic thingsGod is love to meThank you for these things..Understsnd the world your living inLove can mean anything........I think what im.trying to get at here..IsTranscendanceAnd BeingAnd the everydayAre under our noses.The breathThe awareness of it.The bloodThe rustlr of leavesThe horrable dramasThe pleasure seeking aboidant gratificationThe self absorbed rambling monologsThe desire!The thirst!The ligitimate anxtThe NeedCloseness intimacyExperiential boundy onnectionThe puncturing of alienationThe absorbing into a wholeGreater than th selfNon greater than the selfTrue selfAll selfNo selfNon being.Out.EndDarkUnknownEdgesFrontiersUnknowablesDeathNipplesThe light.PulseingThrobbing grindingScreemingColdEmergent...FrustrationPainSufferingEndless suffering in time trapTimeTrapConditioned by rhetoric convention a million dtate sponsored programs of submission mindcontroll obedienceEconomys fear..animal fear Dought..rage lust hot lustGriefJudgementEverything i am is wrongIts hell!This meThis..family this...lacknof reality..Concrete...AndPlay...Hand draws..WorldsNoticeThenNoticePleasant redundancy.Lessons like confetti inMeaningfull arrays of hope constructs..Choices..PerspectivesCrystaline awareness refracting Topological manifolds of other dimentions..Sun beamSeagull spirit transporter.Therez christ again.All of it baby cakesOn the headOf A Pin.

Met a few homeless dudes tday.One guySELLING MAJIC AGATE RINGSHullo.From brazil.Real down low...non pushy.Lovely lil sighn....3$ Another guy...with dog. Young.From bc near alaska..half viking n native. Reservation kid.Straight ..clean sober..But lookd weatherd.Been on rd since 12.Washing windshields.Yeah..they share real.I believe it.He was tellin me his famly drama.Dad killd pple.Mum a native ..turnd pro.Pple just high...fukd up on reservation.Sniffing petrol.Man..brutal.I wantd t give him my tent.He only wantd if light n small.Its perfect. ...tomorrow i give.I got two more at home.It wasin iceland in storms..hell aprietiate that.Im not tryin to be all lefty n identify ..just wellI do identify.Coulda been me eh...Its same as all our dramas..cept we got cimfort n stress in different ways.He was 24. Kinda punky rustic woodsy dirty ..strong lookin guy.Fuk wish i was a farmer guy who could get him a hut fer gardening n stuff.So sad...Still...how can i not be my own victim based on learnt behaviours n reactions.HmmmStill goes on..fer me.Humbling this LIFE!

Yeah..

I think so.

I identify...specially with th dudes.

There good men..maybe

or there struggling with guilt

Denial

addiction for sureIts such a tradgedy our culture dont teach plle to value self.I spoze the abject right?Th brokenThe in processTh hurtLike erosion in a processLike fire floodLike something beyond us..we are inThe lossFragmentationIs beutifull too?Dispite the outward..appearance.I dunno...I dunno..Its me own famly of course im vibeing on here..prob.I dont see myself seperatly..But...im glad i get to go in many worldsMentallySociallyEconomicly.But th point is..We all...are in the same FIELD spiritually eh.And that is compassionAnd light n love.As life..Truly...we are the same.Rich poor black white old young.Were all...part of this miricleWe forhet th ess3nce of being we share.Im a romantic.I can tottally be a biggot too..im not all jesus crazy.But theres some weird shift goin on in me..i think.Dunno..Toronto is very weird..is all.

+××××÷÷÷===÷×××××××××+++÷÷÷÷÷÷

The guy was museing on electro magnetic propertys of the quartz n copper in a alchemicle combo.i got him a apple juice n hung out fer a hour. I think by th end it was evident i was the more mad one.he was pakistani n something. Youd never know..we raved religeon.my india trip..the sex abuse goin on in his prostitute alley bedroom...which may have been memory and guilt i wonderd...people tell storys that illustrate them selfs..not always literal. But pple do tell the truth in there own way.

Brief statement to parliment

Youth suicide awareness show

Sept 4 2018In 1998 my younger brother martin Hung himself.He was a heavily sedated "mentell health consumer" of the state.

Many people feel like dieingEspecually when on institutional medication.I believe martin was influenced by the chemicles he was forced to use.But alsoUnemployment..dislexia.. andA solo parent unstable upbringing.Me and my brother started drinking vodka in the park at age 14 (he was 12)He never stopped..I got theropy in a now defunct rehab centre called queen mary.in hamner A whole person kind of theropy hospital for addiction.There was a maori program there too that i enjoyed as a white guy. Singing n all.Anyway..art was always with me.With itSelf reflectionResponsability..Creation..and consciousness.A faith..or dreamOf hope.My practice is born from our countrys marginal ..and our civilisational cracks in the deficit of all socialAnd environmental capital.We are in a systemic addict..and are all in a suicide machine.Triumph over death..And a return to connection meaning and purpose place and community for me(TURANGIWAIWAI)would include..a complete demolishing of the economic models the educational constructs and the globalist corperate system we are all subject too.Art is a paleo mythic dream timeCracks in the conrete of consentual hypnosis..and a yoga of re memberingToward Self realisationTrue selfAnd universal wholeness.I am a fiercely committed surviverWho will leave echos in this land till i die Evennif its a bit sillyAnd often over serious.KioraJames robinson(Toronto)

And sophia said...Mommy...FEEL ITDabbling her feet in the cold water of minas basin...FEEL IT MOMMY! she exclaimed.Mommy was not having it...But the girl up to her knees in cold calm sea pink dress...cute wringlets and adoreable rounded face...I took my shirt of..and lead the way.The kid needed a adult to acturally swim to model it.I said...this is how its done..And fell forward on my belly n face splashing.She in turn...also submerged.Mommy was just fine..being let of the hook.It was a hot sun..id been bicycling and was dripping sweat.Later sophia asked who was telling th story...in my life lessons.A good question i thought.Adult bro talk ensued re mental health art medications drugs n mythic spiritual figures of indian folk lore..the environment n hitc hikeing to vancouver...To the pacific.Yeah...ahh...That mentell health medication convo comes up alot in canada..in my few days here.All contextualising ya thing..who that story telling me isHmmm

Amazeing hospitality sence of family n connection..able to communicate..

Mark and julia..

And parkinsons

And art museum security gaurd

And shamanic art

AA

And curriculum disabled writer

POET

And

Red clay farms and green grass and art festival planning and walks about the humid swesty forrest..envisioning portals in imaginary projections with yoof..artists

(Someone will do the work surely after coffee)

Easy hitch down to parrsborro..

Gemhound fossicer...

And

Cool spacious apartment next to spooky huge art centre..gallery with amazeing work all thru it.

..

Bike rides

Watermelons

Coldwater

Pickup truck

Pickup truck

Pick up truck

Masonic building

Cenetaph.

All me relationsThank you.

Car tent free camp warrior rain

VAST BEUATY glacier ripped lonly

Diareha perpetual resistant to treatment.

Gut mind disaster mood.

Go with the vicious wind..n mist n grey forceing...sp3ctral assult..relentless

N then

Skitzoid flashs of special spiritual

Smurf sunshine!

Endless purple lupins...

Dandilions...cosmic fractal moss..n crumbly grit soil.

Forward a river .bit scared..was thy deep n fast

.find abandond hot pool wot he was targetting

Some dudes flying drones in there makeing faggy trans type music vids..

Strange ol werld.

Blissed out with th matted clumps of algae

N noticed new yorkers total self centred lack of social grace.

Still i did bark

" yoos all probly pierced ya dicks together eh"

It was a joke...good one james

Break ya exhaist pipe

Entreat viking mechanic t weld the bastard together again..

Take off wire string splint.

The man said "good job"

At that.got me outta nowhere 50 k away.

Fuk i made the grade bro!

very expensive tourism island euro nice

BIG TRUCK OFFROAD DUDE

Waterfall

Waterfall

Waterfall

Time memory

Space.

Ommmmmmm

Dead artist..but kinda sim8ler to lewellen summers n henry more..that picasso kinda model.

Sigh..

Digitise my nuts big tranny kunst

Dear chum.He sits in car wind rain rageing.Makes another coffee on floor. Gas cooker.Grey torrents of sky..make gathering flocks of hundreds of geese in fjord white bobbing points...warbling incessently some big bird philosophyOr simply breakfast interrupted by god storms.IWrite things about moody Hopeless deranged antivipation constructions of art career carrot stick delusions..or indeedPersonality...wasted life kind of failures..At least some Powerlessness in humble bad gut storm mind.Beyond his own myth..And expectationsCultural scripts..Some kinda abstract philosophical spiritual grief howl n ...purpos to make evident my own harsh judgements..Perhaps noble truths even.Reality.Outside th ego frame..Th elements.Still as factory farmed bacteria serfsI suppose higher nobility is not afforded apon us..all th vain postulating..hypothiseing..hmmmPickd up a nice soft peter pan type german hitcher guy.He wasnt hitching acturally..i just anticipated he was.He woulda been.Anyway spent some time travelling together..nade a camp ate a mealTalked non stop.He was inta civilisation!Funny.As one bitchin jamesReveals a optimistic one with th weather..He isnt entirely sure th script fer canada..For nzWhat real...whats not.India seems a bad dream full of angry james....i feel ashamed.6 m9n5hs ruind by some brillient temper tantrumsNot to mention my immune system.Ive has some awsome camp sites here..been able to rest read wash cloaths with sun n stream..Stare at nature like a meditation.Even this road side one..in bad weatherSome kinda beuatifull.Another diary full..Not particularily lonly..Just..Morose in a ..whats all this for?This privledged escspeism where i essentially repeat th known anyway.Am i trying to de couple from my small cultural habitat mental references..Self referencesDo i end up living in canada?What am i prepared to let go of?To growTo change.Do i retreat back to my comfortable ...cave..make stuff like it was my bBy..to feel constantly disapointed after by th worldOthers.The process emotionly with temanawaMy own sence of werth with th work itself feels like a increadably painfull ordeal.I need a fucking buidcuit bitch!Get me a buiscuit! Right...Some prat has pulld inta th bay next t meThey always do.If im there they copy. Its a place..to mimic if theres someone there already.Cunts.Ive no buiscuits.Only Finn crackersSpelt that way cos there finnish rye sourdough..thin crispy things.Fukin scandy middleclass cunts.AnywayI read a ray bradbury novelFareighnheight 451About book burning n civilisation written 70 years ago.Quite profetic.I got a fantasy new york one next..the dreaming cityA cross between trainspotting n harry potter th dark knight cartoon writer says.Got a few more days burning money in iceland n being in nature and car tent.Its all a bit muchHaving ambitionDepressionN sensitive selfawareness n Addictive delusional loops..InternationallyOne has t sirenderMaybe its better than i suppose?Maybe i am middleclass n lovedItll all flow naturallyMaybe im a outsider destind to a against th grain personality war rash with th whole bulshit ediface th whole way thruAchieveing nothingMaybe th universe is benevolent n caresMaybe its a monstrous simulation experiment from a higher dimention spiritually..ever teaseing our capacity fer...Well..I dunno..To die good?To become empowrred fully human transcendant masters?To give upMerge with th unknowable we are somehow born fromRain roofThis is a photo from last nightThis other one is today.Merry xmas

Sitting in car..rain on windscreen.Pattering points in ...some incalculable hopelessly vast chaotic symphony of totally plain miricleOn roof.My ears hear the vibration..of the fallWater..CycledFalling waterWater fallTent rain take down..efficient practiced accurate rushed.Like a dog...ShakeShakeShakeThe outter membrane.Flurrys fly drops skatter.Before thenA actual dogWaiting for me by this waterfall rain mist green grey cold protected from wind ...burrow dip gully..in th fold of the wet trail of river....slideing thru velvet green and broken volcanic teeth of rock.The dogWet..young dreadlockd..at first startled me...looking only from a respectable distance...musta caught whiff of my fine foul emissions of gas from the imballance..C DIFF anti bacterial infection of colon.Good dog.Anyway...once i realised it wasnt gunna attack me..it were just a wet lonly mamel tooI thought to feed it.And could only offer butter wholemeal bread n peanut butter.Which at th car boot..It sniffed rather non plussed n did not eat!Well...my dreadlocked friend..Ill have to scratch yer belly then..which it procurred fer me Paws up in the air...I declined the lower portion of its body underregion..near th penis you understandWe only scratched by th chest.Im never sure what a male dog wants when obedient submission poses occurrHmmAsk a woman i suppose.I dreamed of a gay friend tooLast night.Not essentially a gay dreamBut there were two of them.One younger...a bright achiever upstart rebel kind of art studentAnd a older more...weatherd tired and not entirely friendly.He explained it was his former self existing similtainiouslyAnd in the dream..i could interact with both versions....which included a tour of a bedraggled crappy high rent student flat..with dangerous wireing..tilting floorsAnd cold.They him n his arrogant flatmate seemd to feel lucky to score a dwelling of there own..artists being something of a refugee statis to landlords n estate agents generally.Anyway...DreamDogAnd the psychic life of camping.Oh th dog slitherd away..only to run gallantly after a ute who may have been his former master..Who knows...maybe i as intro human and random camper in nowhereWas mysteriously drawn by faerys to make this introduction again..of a lostRelationship.dog n master.

Very civilised utilitarian public rural swimmin pools.

Th big one 28degrer little 40degree.

So even when its snowy heaps

They do hot pools n swim...heaps of geothermal spots all over iceland

Some like 100$ t get into

Others like this..10$

Good t chat to locals too..how much taX do ya pay? (Lowest 35%)

Ect..

Oh yeah..thats heaps.

No ones sayin i stay at these places..

Just weird they got maori names eh

Airport art. From naga land. ..they had carving totems too..very pacific.

Mural in train alley.

Second 90 day stint.Egypt to cairo..sick.But with good airplane filmsAll strangely echoing themes of men with kids..and evokeing emotional weepyness..1 manglehorn (al pacino)2 infinitly polar bear3 security (action no brainer..but hes protecting a 11 year old girl..)So all these disolveing redundant male architype roles fed back to me..eh...In a vacuume sealed autonimous airport faximilie of life...or is that just my identity makeover matrix globalist agenda spreading Make it back jubulently without any bad stuff..cept a last gesture from egypt man authority..customs pat down strikeing my nipples forcefully. It seemed...fuk i hate egyption guys...i glowerd at him..Saying mentally..Dont fukin touch me like that creep.!Dont care what uniform you got on.I dont have a bomb in my tit dude.Googled rape in egypt..yep..suspician confirmed.Massive child abuse n male n femal rape stats...thatll explain sone of the dark vibes.And we rememver the cheery cathlic background hum.of ya ruined famly..andPsycho standover fsmly violence of ya own pacific state house ghetto..Which was a utopian privledge of course in the 70s. .with last of my energy off plane..went on tuk tuk tooon local crounded train..Sewer smells n crouded rubbishy frantic street. Familier homely!But i like it..its fun..seeing being with th reguler pple transiting.At hotel..where i left bike there pleased to see me.. to pay up obviously fer storeing bike..Which doesnt start and has bits pinched from it and is coated in grime n dust from atmosphereI go to small hot room. And fer two days in dark drift in infected dark warm sweaty lump rusty barbed wire throat feeling infection..In cheapish hotel.Finding th cairo antibiotic starting..Still sleep in life review kinda memory identity storyboard..some inturnalised confrontational throat chakra pyrimid mummy action.Whats true ....whats false....psychological origins of evilEdges bend..judments collapseYou see ya selfAs a kidOr soul..timelessMemorys rush back ..how loss Agitation FearAmger judgement criticism expectation..All..Block..this sublime freedomA glimpse of Some other creatireTh real you..the timeless soul..kid..being. Just visiting.Cathartic discharge of a ritual sick..in body.How graced to start again dispite that ever preasent shadow..great teacher.Indian streets swirl.in a million moods..Sometimes hostile filthy apatheticThen at a different hour..modest kind professional helpfullThen..money hungry...and every eye on ya..But wouldnt get anywhere..without the enmeshed generosity help and openess.I dont know any hindi...Its amazeing im getting by at all!Dusk theres moments of play lightness civility..pple end work.. hang outA chai with a guy...a fella buys me a mango juice in th middle of day..when i finally emerge..bloody good.As if th universe was saying...Its a relationship..its not all about me spending...but just being here.A contradiction to feeling like a walking cash machine.ladyboys hussling fer coin.Firm commanding clap clap clap!I give em 5 roops. There was eye contact.A photo with a chip maker boiling chips in huge couldron veg oil..a cell phone shop help..maybe the network will process my number when they get round to it.Directions tomorrow for bike journey.Spokes on bike had to have repair work someone or potholes..had broken 6 of them on one side..was feeling unballanced.All sorted.coulda been done on purpose just so i could be escourted to th repair guy..but..im too suspicious.Glad it was sorted out..about 20$.. saw him do it..kinda cool...watchin th repair.Maintainence not getting wiped out on th road.Street samosa pretty good...Little things..guy gives ya sloppy sause dribbles down ya leg..did he do that on purpose cos they dont like me? Whole shop stareing at white guy..Is th laughing pointing at me like fun or..ahh ...mean.Shit i gotta eat too! esp when sick..Didnt eat fer 35 hours..sweating n moaning in bed.Thats th down side being only white guy in townEveryone notices ya..pretend not to if there politeStares if they dont give a fukOften glowers darkly from hairy hunched youth on motobike.Different than egypt..more..hmm safe?Lots more well wishing friendlyness if ya engage.I love the atmosphere of openess on street.Everythings kinda on show..The weilder th sewer the flour grinderThe preyer shrine..The macine tool shopKnife sharpenerEveryones kinda lookin out..of there shop..or hanging arbitarilyOr playing a game in a circle on a cell phone..giggling..Or ...any number of chaotic weird innocent stuff..In th dust Open sewers n honking hornsWith sequined bling n repose of jaw..lofty looks orMumbled hellos...Just a average crappy modern developing town.Werkin folk..doing there think as village.

..maybe that level of availability n function is not with us in nz dunedin.. th west. Were all so removed from being of service or needed in th competion of economy..Frontage of web review..peer apraisals n psi ops of media ego spin.Shit..people here just do. ..get on with it.In th shit.They probly dont notice anymore.THe galaxy phone shop next to ye olde male barbour wooden box guy.OrFancey saree shop next to bakery.And assorted street fryed things guys.Dogs hangin in warm sun gravel from a half finished repair on a crumbly house...All left on chaotic street.Its a hell of a neihbourhood..!I was so glad to be back ive been realy cross n offended heaps of times already.which i kick myself forIm a reactive dick..but ..It is challangeing being ill.Still..."give me the money"Seems to be th catch phrase..Which is before hospitality implys im not gonna pay at th hotel..Ya think somewheres decent..cos they wipe th floor..And have suitsBut there as clutchy n preditry for the pretence of what passes fer a classy joint around here. Panval..outside mumbai.Feeling betterish..needs basicly met..andOff to elora caves on th bike..if i can get gmaps going.Im tetherd to needing internet big time..interms of logistics...a ancient carved tourist zone of antiquity in a canyon...on way to agra.Taj mahal....then varanasi. Thats the next few weeks. plan.

JUST

SO FUKIN LUCKY TO BE PRESENT

HERE NOW

WITH THESE PEOPLE

YOU PEOPLE

THE WORLD SEEMS LIKE A MAJICAL DIMENTIONAL PROBABILITY OVERLAY

EQUAL HORROR

AND TRANCENDANT MAJESTY N DIVINE RIPEINING.

Its all sooo beuatifull...

Its all too beuatifull...!!

THE INNER AND OUTTER SYNERGISE THE STEP

WE MAKE OURSELFS MAKEING EACH OTHER..

IN INTIMATE SUFFERINGS DEPENDANCYS AND UNDERSTANDINGS

THIS COMPASSION

WITNESSING HUMAN INTELLIGENCE

NOT MENTAL VIRTUAL HYBRID LINEAR.

BUT

FULL NATURAL SLOW DEEP REAL.

ARTS LISTENING THRU TH VEIL

TRANSLATEING IN OURSELFS

OTHER

ANCESTERS CALL SPIRIT WORLD

AS IF THERES ANY OTHER.

MAKE THE LANGUAGE

ENERGISE THE FLOW

Accepting shit as it is

Understanding what that..is

Might be.

(Life work there.)

Quick note.

Methane permafrost melt

With upper atmosphere hi energy beams

Arctic sea temp riseing heaps

Super volvano detonations as probable

Elite fix

Manufactured global winter..

Versus run away climate change.

What artists have known fer thousands of years

SELF REINFORCING FEEDBACK LOOPS

(Crystslising to whole cultures even)

Or a more succinct over view

I like this guy cos he opted out n farmed a permaculture farm ..

And is a anarchist

As a top academic scientist...the heirachy he has trained in..has not deterred his ability to truth tell.

Got a nose fer that..

But some will live a wee techno topia in a bunker.

Im having a past life regression

A weird psychogeographic cultural integreation with memory..of..

Somewhere else..bottom of the planet where i live...but most of my genetic history..is european..also indiginous at some relitivly recent time..

Any self help group would agree

Admitting youve a problem.is the first step.

Since when was death a problem anyway

For a species...a planet..anyway..

A spiritual mythology..pantheon of astro theological countings creening necks at distant points..

Advanced math...some..knowledge inhearited from previous civilisations

And time...

What of time mumma?..what are all the babys for mumma?

Do we wake up in a shiney rainbow dimention..far far away with everyone we ever loved and nice angels who telepathicly offer comfort?

(Or for that matter mid class glitz hotel trashy pomp fer raj n baba)

Its a blessed n increadable journey.

Everything..as it is...the people

The land

The mind

So greatfull lucky and kind.

Thank you thank you thank you

Suger cane juice.

Pani puri

Yeah so given the sobering

Severe

Irreversable...imminent n

Catastrophic collapse of our imaginary world.

Even with AI n mars probes n mega rich vampires n all that.

Its about...as it ever was

Personal accountability

Journey of the soul

All is gift

None of it mine

And just a privledge n honour to be witness.

Does our transindental witness zip back to alpha centurei? Th peleides?

Cosmic nurserys?

Or ever wrathfull phantoms of a doomed acifiyed planet..no way of upscaleing th karma cognition to next level..to ascend as it werre

All too linear i expect.

Were either all loved infinite creatures of magnificence

Or

Damned lowly sinners.

Who can tell these days.

I know my own flip flopping software malfunctions

Is incomplete upgrades.

AS IT IS

Sort of implys take everything assumed away

Clear view whats left outside of me n my.

Nearly impossable..

That neo cortex thingy...jeesus who installed that!!

Pretty aware at this juncture

Of my dependancy..of insulation

My independant (personal excess cash affords) individually masks

Oil fed empire ego self.

Good job if ya can get it..fer planet bacteria..maybe a insect..

A fly structure.

Yeah behelzebub..thats me.

Divine temporary life blip.

Jetting (albeit melancholie) thru village structure developing werld....

Privledge cowboy..albeit..alot less so than some indian tourists ill add.

Yeah..get ova ya self..could be ignored at home..screeming away at th end of th house while ya mother gets her career saving th world.

Art that lovely psychic commody war zone of aesthetic choice..intellugence

And refined processed disapointmrnt

Turnd

Self will n manifestation.

This illusion...

When everything falls away.

Revealed

Raw death

Illuminating creative..transformational.

Behind everything

Pain

Amxiety

Neurosis

Fear

Neglect

Disease

Hatred

Ignorance

Denial

Class

Privledge

All them socialised lies we reinforce

Cos everyone else does.

Its normal.

I realy dont matter

Cept to me

A tiny amount of others.

Hideing away nz sensitives.

Makeing up the adult story..

In th post colonial bully hive of fuktards.

Pompous pc robotic automotrons

On auto suggestive clone farm

Wireless.

Lifes a ecstatic strange delerious crystal clear dance

Wakeing dream phantasm of co created natural forces..

Pulled together from a material dimention..in local self defineing space..

..

Its all we know

But theres probably heaps more to it we are missing

Cos of our narrow bandwidth

Culturial bias groupthink

Unconsciousness

Singuler

Collective.

Yep

No great answers here..

Gods great !

(insert meaning system of yer choice in that term)

Were all fucked!..planet fever

Loops cascade

Its not even nessesarily our fault.

..

Fizzy cosmic froth

Reflecting something

Made of the mind

Alive

In which it froths.

Holographic

So big profit vampire

Makeing spaceships

Farm you n me till th end

Around now.

The toys at christmas

Always fuk out pretty quick.

In reality

Im at a typical plastic table

On plastic chair

Going to elora caves.

Where perhaps pple used to virtie signal there political godliness fer there set of ruler elites

Aka art..technology.

Perhaps there was a pious uplink in there over th 1000 years of sectarian wership

Perhaps

Some crazed poor monk saw thru th insane monkey bullshit.

Smiled...kindly

Tryd not to be used

Killed

Venerated..or ignored.

anything else there likely to do to ya.

Anyway

My privledge...lookin at a countrys past relics...feeling like this is the

Past

Of it all

Terrance mckenna

Post history rant

Strange attracter pulling from future

Ok..so my fairy god mother.."twanky"

Suggested in her way

That ...rather than imminent heat death of planet n run away feedback loops already underway..

(Keep on shoppin yall)

Ahh

What is life anyway..right?

I mean...WHAT IS LIFE

Even if it ends as us.

A brief flurrish..on a rock.

Speaking of rocks..this one kailash cave

Named after th mountain..ca4v3d from the cliff..over 2000 years ago takeing 900 years i think.

Fukn impressive.

Kinda mystifyed me with th lingum cave.

I like my religeo anthro tourism to have metimifisical cock n pussy milk bath symbolism.

Na truly...i felt it.

Symbolism thats literal as it is universal.

Its real dark in there..inturnal space.

Smooth worn rock floor..pillers..

Scale.

Got me thinking..the equivalents of "carving" today.

Information sculpting..data..bio tech gene design..light even.

All that s i fi paranormal narritive of uploading ya self to a another dimention..

Of course

The recent ancesters knew this already was that. Without th gadgets....think that edge is why mans religeon is so fizzy about death god n soul..afterlife..

Maybe womans religeon would be bit more present embodyed..would cash machines be psychotheripists too?

Give hugs..do longterm service arrangements fer protection n submission to alpha egos..

I was in a shit mood tday.

Slept in a stone monks cell..

Was gawkd at by indian famlys..

Selfie selfie!

This as sanctifyed as it is..is just another famly outting n trimket sales point.

Im tuneing in..to intent..worship..artistry..math..

And eery chambers awsome leeching rock dribbles..its echoing a minimal natural aesthetic ..of fundamentals..for me

Absoluteism...

I reckognise my own singuler search or feeling for reverence mystery

the sacred.

Wanting that to be central..even in silence.

Perhaps it is already.

Imagine...having nothing..being a 12centry bhuddjist monk in a stone cell..ya whole life.

Or a rate payer in port chalmers.

Whole time im recogniseing im vibeing on "nature"..erosion time elemental stsin..th edges of surfaces..the discordant with th articulated..contrasts..

In aotearoa..the sacred spaces for alot of us are raw..not synthesised.

Like caves stelagnites

Mountain trains avalanch..river rock pools

Swirl ..coastline cliff bush n forrest.

Whats left after the realestate market anyway.

Thats why the retarded kid

The paraplegic

The mentally ill

The successful social achiever

Are all as important as the well adapted normal ignorant.

Cos

Unformed information..has as much raw content as formed made.

In fact..

We usually just ego fuk the shit oitra anything we turn our hand too cocking it up entirely.

Lemmie be a hunter gather

Die young wen i can still root n forrage and it means something

..dunno..

Civilisation..was a mistske.

As a kid i was morosely upset at th lack of trees on th plains and hills in chch.

Couldnt understsnd how any of this town was progress at all.

I liked saphire n steel mind you..dr who..

Oh yeah..this iz my blog..im gunna wank on as much as i need seeing as im depressed travling alone in fat white middleage loner no famly everyone hates me privledge.

Seriously..no social context..outside of a visa card..what can i say..im not driveing drunk.

Still social context may be a bit ambitious in a robo hive of virtual meem cluster interface n isolation self centred conformist right wing strut

Victim slave children.

If we were all passionate maori warriors and told th brittish n th globalist agenda to fuck off

Grew organic veges n wild meat

Gene resurrected birds..

And

Sang more aswell as read up to date periodicals concerning star telepathy.

Yeah

Ride my whale.

Sleep in my car.

i do

Its a hi ace van.

Ahhh so tel us about love master

(Parodying a time when people spoke freely)

Love my child

As destructive as creation itself.

It starts with ya mother

It never realy ends.

Beware

Beware

Militiristic monotheism

Material acculation seperation

That..vain echo of hearing ya self hearing about ya self hearing

Organism..self determines

Best route.

Others part of it..but peripheral to inner.

Related however.

It would appear there is only you

But thats apearing to a false entity.

Infact theres no one there.

Whats there is water in a stream

A death in the trenchs 1918

A influenza death in the jungle after fritz visited.

Love..when im the breath n sun n

Wind n collideing galaxys in fast forward

When

I need you to need me

as needfull things need

Body requirements

Trust obeying giggles.

Knowing itll go to shit

Knowing it cant last

Makeing a effort anyway

Cos we love you

Theres nothing else to do..stick around

Report..no one listening

report...hear ya self burble bullshit

Report..

Kindly suppose ya better than ya feel

Whats the measure?

Love cos

Umm were mamels and thats the biochemicle soup we jive on..

Although it could be..a entity from between versions of ourselfs collectivly fractal peering in thru the tulpa cam angle

The one th one the one

Eternal flow

Energy body

Grains of sand

Echoing feedbacks echoing feedbacks

Intencifying in dencity

Woops theres the dna libary all over me skirt.

Sacrifice empathy forgivness

Honesty commitment willingness

Service..stupidity wizdom

Cooking cleaning..spending alot of money

Not doing what ya want to all th time

Admitting ya wrong

Admitting there wrong

Inability to make it right

Laughter

hopelessness

..and failure

Success being

a candidate at all

Baby.

Ultimatly..love

About shareing being alive self acceptance

And accepting

judgemental creeps

Love

Safty

Early home life

Violence

Guilt

Anger resent distrust

Shame

Abandonment..

Problem yer always a problem .

Love

.

Acting addict sociopath

Criminal

Steal

Hurt

Normal fuckers.

Love

That kid

Burnin down th house...tryd so earnestly

YA GOTTA TRY T BE GOOD AY

default

soaked in other ..made being born.

abortion.. womans choise

Good..obey ..conform..submit..good

Relinquish..

Play th game

bad.

Power.

Storm

Flood

Wind

Deceit lies

Horror

Acceptance..

Flower

Sunset

Breeze

Bigger picture in everything

Sketching.. very good student.

understand

the way

took my own hand

in my heart kinda from future or something

sane..observer

Weve made alotta decisions together me n this guy

He looks out fer me .

Hes majic.

fuk with majic.

Ya cant

A start u

biggot tax ring

Na.

make it ya self.

Get a bit of faith

Help

But generally love looks like a soul having a life time

As th conditions permit.

As it is.

A wee weird majic is not realy real.

Be nice

Even if ya a bloody awfull

(Fukin stupid ass hole of a website .two hours uploading shit painfully slow n it crashs..goddamn i said some good reportive scenery)

Hide quoted text---------- Forwarded message ---------From: james robinson Date: Sat, Apr 14, 2018, 7:01 PMSubject: To: hemiking8 <hemiking8@gmail.com>Bat shit crazy india hot sun pot hole trail bike Broken carrierShell be right fix fixWeld togetherService tooWhich involved washingRather than much mechanical Shes lookin good mate.Young dudes n boy cranking n pulling n greaseing...hope th carrier holds up.

In the heat i was wznting to avoid desperatlyIn th middle of crazy town.(There all crazy town whole damn country)

Try n find coffee fer doodle diary ritualFour story dept store..air con..Very mid class..with its own beurocracy too...what ever ya buy hasta get bagged send down stairs verifyed..checkedBy a teamGuys in uniform hover at ever step ya makeAsk advice..amd they own you..Dont move sir..No! Dont move..im just finding out.There lovelyButGetting help often means expending alot of energy on the helper..who will not understand.Ok im being ruthlessBut...its insane th layers n levels.The streets like mad max..chortling churning matrix of multitude..spagghetti flows...with grit. Belching smoke..Kitch tradgic glam..Little packets of chewing tobacco n pan..Got a peeled cucumber from a guy...Vegetables...bit of dipping salt fer that

Real thick lassi..with spoon n wee almond on.A jalabi..a engorged syrip starch thing..bleeding suger n colesterol.Been in india for 14 weeks.Still everyday theres insane shit that surprises me.

Megga horrendous political dance off from back of truck..street party.Politicians trying to buy festival religeous fervour...with big bass crap music..audio assult..the kids loved it.

Disco beats of infant heartbeat machineTruck in celebrationWheeling down road..cops twirling fingers..directionallyRelevantSocially!White foam spreys from dancing boysHi preasure ejaculations..Some toxic agent no dought steriliseing them.Drinking orange juice..gleefullyThe mangled wrecks of road warrior trucks..The market junction..Suger cane diesel push me pull you rattle..Throb of royal enfieldSensations ofSweat...under jacketWind of accelation..cooling and heat similtainiouslyThe sensualMaterial

WorldOne day..ya try 10 atmsNone werkingNext day try th first..it gives abundantly.Not even ya state bank!...Friendly dude selling chineese crap fer girls outside. Wee glitz mirrors n stuff. Trash.

This country runs on trash bling..and munted trucks...bellys in stained singlets..Smuggled woman in auto rickshaws..Sarees hideing them..Expressionistic paintjobs in hotel roomsCeiling fan mantra chakrasThroaty throb of th motobike(Mine dont do that)Childs emo sheets proclaiming i love you so much..Its all too muchTheres no hideing.Good godMother allmighty.This horendous hybrid human mutant circus..desperation n goodwillSkills n ignoranceChalm n vulgarityAnd thats just me!Fluttering flagClink of suger cane grinder machineBoys rush up when im asking google where to goWelcome to my country!

And some coal powerd neclear facility over there..when that dont shut down..n th infrastructure grinds t halt..itll boil n burn fer decades poisining fer hundreds of miles and sending radiation inta th atmosphere..like fukushima..so all these power plants are death sentences fer..well the world realy. Cos who trusts a govt who cant install sewage or water..but shell b right with neclear waste n emitions.

..privledged lil white boy from clean green land but..yeah..na. were fukd mate.

Junior mech..and road gang .its facinating to see cival infrastructure erectected by hand...binary bits of big development..human labour. And the shanti village tent slums they sleep in by th road.

Preyung monk guy..changes mantra to

money money money

Wen he saw me comming.

Yet field werker old timer..handshakes so gently..theres some resonance..intent

Genuine care..so touched..waves me on my way.

A heron crane flys by Truck belching soot.Small town crossroadsAXIS bank deliversPlease hide your secret codeTh computer warbles in pidgeon englishThe man at the door has treasure fer all girls!

Although many look to be rather meek property items..in backs of lorrys or mini van famly full..sardines

hotel highway wedding venue mega plex

Falling apart childlike privatised fantasy

Names like

Ocean view (mid india mind you)

Dream laxmi sooper fun holiday

and

Regency maharaj executive

All some rinky dink decaying theme park dysfunction..sim city game...

Its like merchant economic marketing religeon has sectarian spread its capital viral empty dead apendages

God gone (or made a party politiccal tribal emblem of statis n authority in th human matrix)

Hungry corpse of illusion wails thrusts on tarmac of global colony.

The outter precincts are called colonys

I can only imagine th mafia don who organised that.

yeah..no movie

Novel

Culd sum up the existential crisis of this modern trash empire..

Egg burger hut dudes seem cool with it all.

Low income vendors..not there problem how the mighty shit over everything.

Theres tea on th hiway tho

And shiva on th menu who toots

(The menu is also frontage..they wont serve much..gruel n fryd bread and proud)

Woke up this morning..whats the essential nature of man?

Went t sleep listning t ayn rand audio book.

The fountainhead.

Yeah wow the public..

Make the work

keep the diy self realisation

Meem alive.

like wow dude

you culd have a real n interesting life too

As jail inmate nzild corp

Dont expect much fraturnal communication..real unreal battles..feverd self innitiation pilgrimages.

neural edumicational reference building architechture language reality

Obedience chip set

Well is there any other?

Whats arts werk?

Why are we here this side of maybe?

How many chances ya got?

Youll get dirty be very lonly

afraid and then

Itll change...

And change

Youll

be the change..self defineing the software.

Fractal unknowable god self in fragile self aware feedback loops..holograms built by the core directive..

The weak cowardly n conformist..will deny n try hold ya back....rationalist square paddock profit motive..white bread.

Damn...posthuman skitzo diatribe

mollest me imagination

Self soul planet..

Ape fertiliser!

Christ neo..

Thems who ..disavowed the soul

self..becone th imprint forced inta them

A suicide of moral integrity...

To class money..and ownership.

Externals...telling you who to be.

Propper normal goid.

family

work

Career

a well desighnd self.

Totally safe.

Lifes what happens when we are buisy makeing plans

And god laughs..

Or something like that.

..

Ahh down a litre of water

Some mango juice

Road bus appocalips..drink alot of water.

Very good.

The guy at the restraunt had a shrine fer a handsome young guy..garlands hang

Maybe some priest

Some guru

Na..my brother shot himself in head.

Black look in his eyes.

Ahh sorry man..thanks fer shareing

Mine too..hung himself

i makes neck gestures.

We still alive eh! I say.

So as long as only some works from a specific sanctiond period...under the dead wrappings of a emotionly illiterate used car sales man..from some booshwaa richy rich colony

Yes only some works..he realy was a bit much

We cant tollerate one

Who trys..

makes us so ...uncomfortable.

Whats yer essential nature?

Ego

Consciousness light dark..

Cave

Shadow

Illusion ..

freedom.

cos its gonna end..real soon

This is it..

None of it is ours..its all phenomina

Art acts that language out..inturnally..

Expands contracts..tests boundrys

Gets it wrong..

may if its lucky..get t be itself.

But we know what happens to children that are them selfs dont we.

I made it to a beaten up hotel motel.

Establishd eventually i needed a room.

Got one. I offerd tarif as they didnt understand.

Equally..huge kitchin goin on..

Couldnt order..thru sign language they didnt understand i wanted dinner.

..

But over n over in a mobbed way..where you from what country where u going..single?

Family?

No..im a genetic endtimes story.

Pretty sun set.

This guy in th dribbling shower bucket bath.

Crazy bus road..some festival.

Chai boys burns.

OH LOOK DICK FRIZZELS SELLING SINGLETS IN INDIA.or boys..maybe its a clone toy sex doll?..made out of nz wine n native hardwood?

Im sure the babyboomers apprietiate the waterd down frontage of a advert exec n his consumate taste.

Its so ...so...human to be a artist isnt it.

Love our property portfolios and winerys by the beach..

Round them all up..plastic bags over there heads

Gaffertape..make them werk in a prison youth rates

till they pay off every cent of every student loan n inflated mortgage in th land.

Sell there body parts to the chineese..

Experiment on there corpses fer the longevity drug ..

Ban there litriture n art

Kill therr progeny

Freeze assets

Haha were such a idealistic christian colony..everythings fine in skitzaphrenic alchoholic pedaphile lie land.

..

Keep picking the scab..youll never heal.

So WHATS THE ESSENTIAL NATURE OF MAN THEN MAN?

Well probly let a supercomputer werk that out fer us..install the bio port..hook up the nano particulats

Obey ...we shouldnt havta think..feel.

We just need money .. .

Oh some say love .connection

Meaning..

What we are to others

What we are to ourselfs..

Can you be with ya self?

Broken?

Wrong?

Unbearable?

What are ya then..

Forget about all that other shit

The people in ya head..

Echos of others

echos of others

Hooking on identity deferral ..

Fish in water dont know water

Strip it down.

Whats left.

Its a scary crazy exciting time t be alive

All these ideologys

Collapseing..

Being unconsciously made for us by unseen hands..manipulated.

Toward goals ..

Society class ownership

Selfhood

Faciesm

Totalitarian one world government

Death management.

Blink blink

Were not on a train to the gas chamber are we?

As long as you serve a use to the regeime

And never mention the regeme.

Play along..

We care for you.

People are good..

Hell life is sacred..

(Only the bits we controll mind)

Narrow the slits down to hand held devices

A beurocratic intelligence test of servility

Every time i ask a hotel or whatever if theres mosquitos they say no

I get big fukn welts from mosquitos.

So..

There liers.

Bastards!

Om shanti.

Hotel from hell.Drunk guy wanders inta m room at midnight telling me chipattis are ready.Walls exude days heat..so its over 40 lieing still sweating on lumpy matressN If th door in window open to get th moderate temp lower outside ya get bitten by bugs.I almost thumpd th drunk guy..But settled fer yelling and brandishing a fist.Just walks in while im trying t asleap half naked..with cell phone to take images it lookd like.Couldnt get food last night..although they wrre cooking.There real friendly...but..dumb?Language problem.Gee havta try n not be a reactive prat this morn8ng.Im not very gracefull when im a fetish object to every mustached alpha in a turbin..So very little sleep..Whinge complete

Right..

Creating language

as gene host

Cosmic agent of fractal cosmos

Victor of eternal battles..

un needed to win

Nourashing

Intelligence

Primacy adaptive

Experiential being

Nothing something

Magnetic electro

Relationship

Wholely

Exist to contribute gifts

As we find each other

Is the self

Well the shanty shack guy with rice n pakora n unemployed guys hangin round. Acturally stepped up n gave me food!

Restaurants on th other hand..repeatedly time after time..i place a order..and nothing happens. Even when i make it 3xplicitly clear.

So i eat on th street..cos apparently fourteen guys need to pass the buck fer ever to cook a guy pancake n generic curry mush...

Even swankyish hotels ignore me..i dont get it..i loose the plot..raise m voice..get angry..storm off..so hard to get served.

Street guy vendor..kinda gets the fact humans need food..he relys on it.

Yay little guy..

Like werking kiwi painters..in enacted inturnal gesticulated process..

We deliver the goods eh.

Real estate

Bbc werld telling me how it is fer me

in

Me cell

Rest coupla days...

Slow down

Be..

Tulsi drops

Mail a diary home to ya friend

Jesus ya show off ya got one!

Dont drink th scum water even if ya boil it

Get a stainless steel kettle.

Big event

Have a poo.

Think..feel..

being smallerObservantReverent inside..self careMakes it all less work .more..wonderfull.Its getting that mix eh.assertion n hustle

N flow n acceptance..Pple have totally been stareing at me

Its not bothering me as muchFunny feeling fer a often paRanoid guy..But its acturally real ya kind know where y at.Pple think n act all different ways.Some kindlySone jaw dropsSome stare zombie rudeSome hand goes out automaticlySome ignore ya..just another personSome look ashamedSome smile n laughSome look like ya confronting them personally with ya existenceSome smirk likeWhat you doin here ?Others look agrieved n incredulous like i violated them.Strange ol gig...ghetto tourism.Officially it aint a ghettoBut...looks like one t me...But people are pple..Same same...

the ten thousand things

We notice on THE WAY

Increadably decent chap in man mani hotel...super cheep.

Telling me of th sights..

Ok i had t clean th last guys cig buts on th floor n poos of th loo bowl..

But th fan werks good

I got hbo lobotomy if i want..

..

Road was easy tday too..

Musta been that extra qi gong i did yestaday

or the holy tulsi basil.

Travel is strange now

I could be any where it all seems like the same place..

A congealing matrix of feudal poverty

Increadably uglee civic infrastructure looking mostly maori job ish

(I say that with a human pride)

..demolition aesthetic

Dirt

Petro robot

Digital edumicational cluster of compounds..dark grimy tea shacks

Cows faceing down busses..on moterway

A marrage cult like primary school architype implant

Trucks laiden with village field werkers

Eye contact from behind his helmit..grin

Psychic mirror

Foreighner hooning in black on black bike

That smileing teen

May never get to do this..probly not.

Yet above me theres suv of wealthy raj dudes who obviously own the rd.

Were all playing out our parts in th world show

Outter world of appearances anyway.

Is that attitude born of my mental privledge aswell?

I wonder at these school complexs..boasting pictures of of serious pravatninananda who got 92 % in his maths exam..boosting the schools reputability n commercial viability.

Spoze they want more for there kids ..

Than ghetto trash town.

Maybe they dont see it?

Dunno..

Dunno..

I dunno..

Pick up trash at th beach..

Try not to voice negativity as much

or if ya do

dont identify it as ya self

Its just toxic mood self justifications leeching

Its all energy

Ya trap ya self

Hmmm

Something profound..ummmm

Oh yeah

Forgive ya self

Not as a pass to a bad person

But as a unfolding of the inevidable totality of the good ya cant doom cos its the thing seeing as ya.

In ya heart..

And sun

Blood

Atom..thingy.

The introspective information we have today about th nature of reality

Of self

Should not be narrowly controlled to a irrigation ditch fer big agri geneticly modifyed seed monoculture.

Hmm the play of the child

As nature..intelligence

Imagination dream

Makeing in the physical.

Weve secret knowledge at our metaphysical taste buds..like no other age

Its awe inspireing

What we can focus on

Like a god

Of divination

Biology

Physics

Astronimy

Chemistry

This stuff is mans language form of incremental understsnding to the whole.

Sacred..even.

It seems theres forces of destruction

And creation at play..or war

In our souls..culture civilisation

Unconscious material from ancient times

Cycling on n on

Not gonna get all sidhartha onnit

But

At source..

at source..

We must come from. Energy

Being

Non being.

Its practicle as it is theological

Pollution self harm

Greed poverty sickness suffering

Money

Privite public

Corruption

Abuse

Ignorance

Theft

Jelosy.

Envy

Conflict..

We have vantage points now..as the elite ancients couldnt have drempt of..

How does a actualised free

Kind compassionate successfull healthy

Process take hold.

Immune responce

Shock evolutionry choice

A

Underpinning of socialised structure of me

Retaining identity unique..

Genome time wave

Esculating

Death

Light

Self

Time

My

All

Your

Few to many tangents unresolved clearly

Something

We serve a sence of something nessesary with our lives

Call that searching if ya want

Or hope

Or fear of missing out..

Not to know th implications

Of this time

Or life

Not to aprehend the living information

as it is

Precious

Revolting

Is to not be open

Gotta be open to th muse

Ya dont tell it

Ya listen ya notice

Or ya kill it

Scare the majic away

Ya ray beam of narrow measurement n linear assumptions

As to who you are.

Shells made by other pples storys in ya.

Intuition

Synchronisity

Feeling

Yes even the depression

Rage grief hate n

Lost innocence..

Maybe not lost

If wonder

And majesty

N terror even...

Exist in us.

Not post human

Concrete fly overs

Economic religeo brainwash

Priest of spin

But that too is the world story

whats most true remains

What isnt true dies.

Is death th end?

Hitching a ride on anothers vaulnerability in a moleculer soup ..

Smaller dimentions squashing labratorys into patents.

I dont know

I like listening to credable ideas..

I think media is a miopia device of distortion..

Creating the reality we believe in and in turn make.

I make reactive feedback loops of not looseing myself

Suddenly theres a steller nursery

And

Veils shift in the apocalips..

Ok

Thats enough

HumansWere drawn to these objects of fantasy..ThatDisplay aspects of imaginary ..possabilityOf our power to create manifest asx nature doesAs proof were as good as naturrBetter..as god!I dunno about that..But seems to be th theme..MassEscapeism...with th richest offering th grandist bullshit to justify there spot.Is it inverse to attainments inner in a collective sence..?One reflects tother.Is th grandiosity..realy a secreation between worlds of a higher dimention form guideing us ?Is that th battle field of our soulsCulturally..collectivly.Indians seem pretty sure of them selfs there routines beliefs ritualised customs..Secure might be a word..nestled in religeon..famly..state....The western outsider type..WeCultivate dis belief...Leaveing effemera...lots of whirling inputs...Phantoms..Its alot like a collapseing sence of selfA dieing...empire...Or something.

Family disolution

deconstruct self..

maluable vaulnerable

medicated

Dependant...isolatedOr re assessing..as a new skin thinks itself growing on th feverd planet..If thatLasts more than a tech neural aluminium layer on a choclate is another story...

Shoe covers fer holy marble.

Isnt it amazeing what ancient trillionares can do for ththere big virtue signal with all there slaves...like a hedron collider a moon base...pet grooming chainstore franchise..

Well i cryd at th taj.

More a exhausted self pitying existential futility ..and lonly alienation of shit bag country over pop petrol digi economy hustle ..swearing at touts again..yelling at dudes who push in front of ya in ine

Or th jeeps that bear down on ya screeming there horn with all that class urgancy.

Its a paradox..hard not to be a tourist when im a tourist..but then im part of the mechanism that fuels the awfull tourist industry..makeing countrys inta theme parks and pple into consumers.

The road seems like a primitive ego animal extention..

Reversion

Where I "I" AM GOING ...AM GETTING THERE

AHEAD OF YOU!

all mes pushin n slipping over each other

Both skillfully and manipulativly opportunist..with lots of risk..

But th telepathic flow capacitor seems t orchistrate a benevolent out come

Forceing me

No..suggesting to me in evidence based observation and participation the wizdom of her ways..

This serpentine mutation of foul toxicity ever revving multitude

Never look while pulling out..crossing th road

With ya whole extendard family on ya scooter ..laxidaisicly meanders cutting ya off..1000 times a day

Arrogant stupid fucktards!

Thanks fer having me tour thru yer awsome shit hole of hell country and look after me good and also i respect you all do things yer own special way

MORON BASTARD PRICKS

LIFES precious

So we assume everyone else wont kill us on the road.

Ive got a european made black helmet n padded jacket with armour bits

Im being very conservative with my telepathic flow ..and...not lashing out too much..hell i even give way lots...smile at the expressionless stares that follow me.

INSTINCTIVE INDIVIDUALISM petro doller extinction soul slavery harvest.

We all get privledges sure..from the machine madness..but th cost..

Im so far from th hippy organic spiritual dree thinking anarcho commune art radical village of utopian elitist fantasy

And round here the cost of this modernity looks like slum hell.

But someone some systemic extention is still makein money from this..atrocity.

Make babys make babys

Get t holy ganges

Oh right th neclear power facility on th river is closed n n all guest houses full

With werkers

But a shitty wee place with nice boys running it..

do have a spare spot..yay. turns out its ok fer 8$ a night.

So..cummin up against my own crap alot here..as much as the place.

Cos as much as i hate it

And i do..

INDIA IS A ABSOLUTE SHIT HOLE

No question.

I feel im a witness fer immanent heat death..cum crop failure infrastructure collapse..ahem

As much as its a cruddy grunge broken corrupt rubbish pile of skellitons on th take

Its also full of increadable moments friendly

Faces ..goodwill kindness..as everyone is in on th big joke of the facade of civilisation iz a thin illusion

To our soul story in th as the material

Dunno..

So..even tho im a cunt and i hate it

Im

Forgiven when i see im a cunt..and try a different attitude in th next interaction.

Reaction..come from a different me

In that way..we know ourselfs

Adversity forces evolution?

Hmmm na thats a bit linear sounding

Its not a moral pyrimid to protect th ego from any wrong doing

There is no wrong doing..just echos plucking strings on echos in deeper folds in time n memory loop programming

Wow called "self"

So many of them in here

Fluid faceted..illusionry

But still a form unto its self

This self..

Nature is probly the best analogy..in describeing this.

Leaf floating down stream

My friend says a bit. Meaning a certain fatilism of character n acceptance sirrender i guess.

Im pretending im a horse man of th apocalips drivin round one of the oldest human cultures around.

I could be!

Just get me to the soma dude!

Need my kundalini awakening right!

Na..crappy sweet tea n bad food..thats fine.

Acturally four days of no shitting

And i finally made a deposit in the government neclear facility..which was

Immaculate 1950s village military look.

Full of personel gaurds n moppers

All glad of a job i spoze that lookd like sitting around. Lotta official sitting around in india.

The road was bent n potholed like scabs a thousand years old..busses n frail old men on old style bikes..oblivious to th bus

Jesus theres a baby in th road

Ill just slowly go around that item.

Roads are kinda communial it seems

Every one gets a point of valid obstruction

My life matters!

By implyed threat to its safty

In the public theatre

Of road.

And commerce at that reptile end of the spectrum.

This is a guy ironing.on th road.

Dont say hinduism isnt progressive..

Chip packets like preyer fkags..double as long lasting neighbourhood adornment after use

This fella i can see it..ive seen the white car style..they bob n weave at far too fast and with great entitlement. He probly clipped a truck he was overtakeing in a obnoxious dangerous way..hate t say it

They have it comeing..such ass sucking pricks the car driveing indian..tooting incessantly (like they dont blog james)

Screeming up behind blareing horn..arrrrrg

Doller big boss inner wear (who me collonised?)

None of my urban snaps capture the depressing matrix feel..of crouded hot stinking fumeing spitting inmates

Fat guys makeing sweets.

Food is HAND MADE here..and even tho the place is above a sewer well rub out greasy mits all over the yellow balls.

I dunno

Maybe theyve great immune systems.

I HAVNT HAD FOOD THAT A WOMAN HAS COOKD YET.

JUST MAN SLOP.

Although t be fair...the MANGO SMOOTHIE IS DEVINE !

Ahh goddess ganges...took road north..was rural simple virdant healthy even.

Convoys of suger cane to suger factory

Get t hotel. Any hotel. In crazy town..ass is in pain..th seat aint th best..

GUy has to check with th police if i can stay..wait. ahh ok.

And wait

And wait

Dude shall i go somewhere else?

No you sit down!

Ill go get a tea eh.

Hour later

Im allowed his precious room. Get hustled fer tips..na i dont think so ..

Hour later buzzing at door..sighn paper for intelligence dept..

Na fuk off im sik of you diks

Buzz buzz sir sir..you must sighn

Im real tired n cross cant get a shower and indian hospitality is appalling

I puncture th page with a aggressive signiture thats mocking there beurocracy controll drama

Im a guest i been rideing all day..let me rest.

10 min later..a gang of earnest geeks confront me..its 9 pm

I arrived at 4. You must sighn or get out!

Last thing i want is to be filling out intelligence security questionaires or on th street totally irate n exhausted.

I fill out the forms swearing angrily..

..

Do ya qi gong to chill out

Buzz buzz obnozious door alarm..

They just wont leave me alone!

Fuk in nz im friendly with indians

My attitude may change

They are morons..i think middleclass brahmin ..

Total entitlement controll trip.

Its a joke..

Still the sane man would be unreactive

Me..i get cross lippy n yell at the pricks.

then th heat comes on the mosquitos

Ya cant sleep..good times.

The matrix is on the tv..of course it is.

i turn it off when im im disturbed again

By my pals.

But simalarily a decent guy will not even care about paperwork next place..its a mystery. I felt like a criminal.

Couldnt find food..either..nothing i wanted to eat...these citys are mutated hindu ghettos of filth...

Watch a doco on india..dont come its a shit hole nightmare fulla ahhh indians!

Fancy daycoor...couldnt see this kinda place last night..askd th guy why woman dont cook ever (implying perhaps it may be more imaginative or wholesome perhaps)

He didnt think he askd alpha boss man behind till..i said..i asked you not him..

knowing the age of young guy..

But this is it

He doesnt think

Defers to elder..who has a cultural bias he got taught and so on n so on.

Kinda make me glad im a product of disfunctional western individualistic liberal feminism realy..

Get t wash my own undies in a bucket n flirt with adventurous academia in mythic cliche personality broadcast vaccuume void broadcast culture.

Makeing some cracker werk in me noodle

Yeah..self permission

Domestic scale..

Sell all them bitchs some good art

God said to do.

wow..I scored a great guest house..That conservative mid class thing i was complaining about..which seemd like buncha pencil pushers lording over the werkersThis one is a compleatly diffrent vibe..like hotel n public school mixed.Restaurant mess hall v v good kai cheap.Theres steps inta th ganges fer dunk..from there lawnIts cheap 600 rps a night 13$? I took too nights with ac

(im nxt t loo mind you)But yeah...casual modern..and kinda th indian version of my grandma vibe with conservative religeous iconography aroundI love my granSo ill behave.Very cool.Th rest of th towns ...were full ...full of mass tourisn joints.My heart was breaking...how it gets so pervrtedly wreckedThis is like some ancient traditional famly guest house/hotel.And checking in was simple!..thank you lord krishna.and pals.

isnt it wonderfull too tho...to be alive at the rotting scuzzy bit of fallen cosmic fruit

That we are. FEAR NOT WEE SPACE BACTERIUM..WEE PHOTONIC SMILE IN NO TIME.. the media mind takeover inturnal global heist collectivism heard demographic rewire dis identify with ya own soul.

But.isnt a forgone conclusion..see prison aint as fun as reality of what this acturally is and funny thing bout human is its memory of truth and true self cant be extinguisd..even in guilded cages.

Hipcritical sermons and shooting ya mouth of moto boy ventures.

Feeling...memory...illusion...time...being

There were alotta girl affirmation pictures by th ganges ghat in rishikesh..most had the faces chiseld off. Pretty telling. Disturbing Maybe th local friendly islam guys?

Great anecdotal narration of yer perplexing karmic social war game with Socially backward geek men.(Meaning its not just you!)Yes i see it all...Im writhing in pain with gastrointestinal diareha medicationImmodiumHad severe sulphuric belch n fart n runs aplentySharting three pantysIn a freezing cold Pretentios resort hotel overcharged cos i wanted a heater at 3000 meters..Big ask luxury itemBurn plastic on street tho..fine fine.They cut power off to me..no hot wster light stumbling to loo in night. Over n over again.Yeah big boss tracksuit n cap banging on door..check out go away!Fukn hell th sham of these pretentious dik wads n hospitality...I demanded another nightTold them off fer turning power offAnd am resting with a dead farting creature in my gutSome re heated curry i expect..So i am at war often with indian scumAlso on trail...trust is thin..And as a single individual white guy i am not considderd important.Like big price fer room onlyvto be forced t share with 7 others.(I trod someones sunnys under foot in that exchNge and dissed him out angrily infront of mates..)Prepared to fight.No sleep torchs in my eyes...buncha privledged fuks on camp..rrrrrSo yeah..highs n lows mate.Was aiming fer mountainous area not far..real big lotsa snow very fkn cold.Hotspring valley off main road..Before got crook!Hope it goes tday..very yukkyAlthough not so ass water now.Not gunna eat..just drink.Got some thermals some nylon pants with fleese inside socks n boots new skivvy poly propBut indian stuff is shonky quality.Wrangling flights with nz agentLost 400$ from quantus for changeing itinery..to canadaAppaling loss.Still..Havnt crashedOr punchd anyone(aka law issues potentially)Was yelling at a guy overtskeing me on a scooter on a corner on th inside with trucks n busss next to me..!Who nudged me aswell!!!I yelled so wellScared him so much..he wobbled n fell off in th gutter.I might of excellerated parellel to him aswell to menace him...all very slo mo..He came a cropperI pulled over to see if he was maimed..Wasnt.Bike ok too.He was pissing urgently from shock i imagine.He realy was ok...so i turnd back aborted that journey.hindu pilgrim trail.Th hot pool is a hindu thing too dammit.Shiva meditated there..aparently.What ever there stupid childish minds want to hang on to from th middleages..Stupid wogsStill..theres human beings in them too..So i cant allow me to be a creep too much.Note im back in civilisation n th resent starts again.Theres sure to be other good open majical bits.Even survivin th thing thus far...is something.Detatching from me..at home finally.Accepting...hmmOther maybes.EhCanada ect.Kinda firming up a month in iceland fer trekking too a stop over to halifax canadaShould be high summer there.And in canada wen i get there.But fuk its cold here now..and i was planning to go ever more north! Inta th barren bits.Constsntly farting...huge guffs..Lord ..i want to keep trekkjng but will be moderate about it..realy taxd meself that one past.But fer alot of cold n wet n no heating..Tulsi oilHoly basilHas seen me right!Few drops in water..anti bacterial viral fungal Helps immune ect ect..so glad.Some wench keeps giving me looks thru th bedroom window..So violating...no privacy here.Fukn indians rrrrrMy werst side has come out alot..And unashamedly...im a cross rude white guy defensive n suspicious..Maybe thats too harsh..JustKill them all!Love

Road werks to big pilgrim mountain

Hey

Lets destroy it. Make anything beuatifull a huge econonic expansion

Let th werkers live in tarpaulin shanty tents

Massive dangerous congested narrow roads..many crashs cos every one pushs n shoves in indian arrogant fashion.

Still friendly guy next t me on scooter

I droppd th bike..in slow motion steep turn by hitting a rock..no harm or damage

And good test to lift it. Think its 230 kg.

Heavey.

Th road landscape slaughter eventually gave way to pastural stepped vilkages

Im hopeing theres some nature left.

Got a month to get to leh

A vipassana retreat.

Feelin pretty good after havin ganges swim..and oh i dunno doin th whole india thing and succeeding.

As i keep mentioning..not a day goes by where there isnt profound reflection.

Although i hate it.

It couldnt be anywhere else.

I sence th religion of money and state bite to th core .ravishing ..in revolting blooms

Of infection..in contrast bizzare psychic bubbles of ancient custom worship.

Im makeing progress..i mean im.pretty far gone..the anxious frothy ego identitty reacting with everyone else..

Still feel the best is in here..

..

the gratitude in me

For this trip

The fragile meaninglessness of value a life seems to hold in this social hive of 13 thousand million people

..

Carrying capacitys

Regeneration

Futures werth living

Im a romantic..

Meaning something truest in my human

Thinks th machine shouldnt do my living for me.

That weve a soul

Quantumn entaglement

Dimentional flux

Multiple resonances..abilitys..yearning

healing in the wound thats birthing death

Dis identifying with the taught encrusted

Socialised external software interface

Me

And falling in love

Wonder..

Hell

No hope

Voice echo in th cheap wayside hotel

Spider man sheets

Dirty purple walls..twinkling lights on the unfathomable steep slopes hosting

Humans.

The privledge of knowing ya self

Just alowing it to be him

Following some thread..practiceing not practiceing

(Stocking up on coffee drinking green tea)

Indian pop doof doof

Satan wears bling

Chews tbacci in little plastic pouchs

Goes fast on his apachi raceing bike

Theres something im trying to get at

Something genuine

Authentic

In the superficial facade of self or culture

Not betraying one for th other

Not saying yeah i need my beuaty on my my terms

Or wisdom in soft oriental cliches

Or

Peace is the absence of war .

Integreated every moment possable in being

And if ya shit on the carpet my pet we will rub ya goddamnd nose in it

The many ways of gods

RUPIN PASS IN NATIONAL PARK GOVIND..SOMETHING OR OTHER UTTERAKAND STATE

(Having avoided mass mountain tourism n road death of child jeep drivers to gangotri ) he decides to go fer a solo hike in th hills

Description of such forthwith.

Hullo dearThanks fer always reliably eventually getting back to me.Wow tramp was awsomeHard!In that i was unused to it..carrying tent..and only nuts n raisins fer food.Lotsa homestays. And a established trekking route too...so i was alongside th companys alpha boys starting ..th season..got lotsa adviceAll simple fer them n locals..stroll on a 4x4 road!Bit complex with getting thru th myriad stone slate cliff hugging towns..Which you wooda lov3d!Yeah blue type..you probly should get advice on that..you may be simply cuting it..or copying it.. its all still there.Fukin pain tho poor you.Still..Like a werkoutYou still win.Maybe yer deep spiritusl self is editing fer ya?Hey youll love thisLotsa weed on th trail...wee seedlings.Last day i chewed a coupla mouthfullsLike a cowWasnt in use as far as i see...in villagesBut it did give a mild euphoric body relaxDreamy nice open.poetic greatfull vibe.Id like to be that guy all th time!Coulda been th qi of river air treeAnd healthy exercise tooAnd th coffee detox i did.Wont happen again sirJust seemd like a small experiment...

After 80k there n back marchThen th road out was this epic pothole forrest development saga of mud.OhTh narcotics police were all around th base camp village..and my bike was parked with this lovely old guy who gaurded th bridge lives in a plastic shanty hut..(I tipped go0d)Anyway..battery was compleatly flat Drug macguiver guy in jeep with indian audience of many boys men (alwsys)Watched him strip some wire with teethHotwire th battery from his jeep..Yeah!They were trekking th backblocks fer opium farmers..no way youd get rid of weed!I didnt collect more or get obsessiveSo feel ok.Then on highway after fryed potato pancake n vege stew combo..Got in a bad rainstorm..Put on all wet westher gear (only had keens n tiny addidas ankle socks on feet)Battle gear on...i did remail reasonbly dry!And inturnal pack too.Core temp was low..was shakeing.Luckily roads quite developed lifestyle hill country..In a expensive govt tourist hotel...Talkd t berry on ph.So spent all night obsessing on next tramp...Im a bit early in season fer th realy good ones. Im in right area...snow on pass3s n all.Im happy being solo guy..On th fringe of th companys trails which they dont own..Good tracks in other werds with groups hearded thru of uo to 50..porters cooks n all.No white pple stephen. City indians.Got a columbia goose down sleeping bag fer 120$ second hand from homestay...fuk needed it ..was so cold on th top near water fsll..lots more snow than that article.All they said was true..was picturesqueGenuine mountain villagesTea shops friendly ppleAlso jaded annoyed pple.So...just ass3ssing choice now next.Theres a hot pool place where shiva apparently meditated fer agesKheer ganga...a short walkSourounded by rural homestsys.Kinda thinkHamner in tramping version..semi developed.Will have them indians too tho.And im suspect of all religeous hindu shit now Its braindead auto hypnotic croud controll.Theres a populer town not far from thereWith more trekking supplys Hard very hard t find in indiAIm going to iceland after so good to get my nz equivalent gear see.Im carrying Three sets of stuff nowTramping basicsBike basicsPersonal basicsIts streamlined efficientBut still alot of shit.My feet are wrecked! I want more trekkingBut...also...need a rest.I followed th guys i met th guides th first day on th rupin pass walk They went all th way to th hanging village in one day27k...and me twice there age with heavey bag 15kgAnd them with light day bags.In th hail n rain.I was almost hypothermic when i got there..! Soooo steep ..up a path xig zag fer 90 minSchool kidds jogging home from next villaGe school in bright uniforms un perturbed by rain..Old folk out fer evening cow heading on cobbled paths..Still building houses with stone quarried from side of pathJust unbelievable.As ever...constant developnentAnd economy..roads being bulldozed wider ..power poles goin in..Everything had a price tag.TeaA maggi they love maggi noodles..its weird..its a staple!Im raveing...just i wouldnt have expected remote himalayan series of national park to be so..so...populated by a net work ofIncreadably hard werking local farmersAncient in modernityLike eco fantasy self sufficient villagesGeorgus wheat apple orchardsCows goat sherp..Chickens.Lotsa mule n donkey..terraces endless terraces organic contours

And th most preposterous hights these different communitys clinging to 3000 metre sides of granite glacier riped valley hills...rushing water below.When i made green tea in yellow tin mug when i went to th pass..It was with a wee ember cook fire.No gas canisters in india.Good path...i did fuk it up sometimes n improvise.Few risks.Like crossing a snow bridge up on a slope...half way across on th worn keens..Reasliseing..hmm nothin to hang on to..Feet are slipping on iceOhI slip i fall 100 meters slideing on hard ice..to bottom ripping his flesh...Hmmm better slowly retreat.Ended up going up th scree n grass slope next to shoot of ice snow(So v v nz !)Crossing v steep very high at great cost physiclyBut on rocks n Delightfull rhododendron growing on craggy slope.But yeah..ya get there...pitch ya tent wellAnd.it hails and rains fer two hours hard out.Good cheep tent!Dry!Then sun set n some amazeing rainbows..So yeah..Get amounst it planet earth..While ya can.Ice ageHeat desthUrban viral spral of oil addict economys..And maggi packet rubbish.Although th mountain waS clean..like a templeYes..still rubbish thrown thoughlessly..In small bits.Akay theres a report son....was so amazeing to embody a walk in journey

I feel im here

As in am travelling ..th torrential sweat chaffing legs buttocks

Th rain n cow shit

Th chippatti n sweet tea in awsome family homestay beutifull baby held by grandad

Passed to famly members relatives constantly being held adored. Crying seldomly.

Th digging the field by hand at 5am back breaking woman labourer

Th chai shop fraternal possee of local layabouts smileing ..recounting martin crowe as great criketer to me. (Cheers all whites or whatever ya called)XPhotos t follow

And ill never forget sitting round the fly blown small wooden fired kitchin acturally chatting or attempting to with the wife n daughter makeing me chippatti n stew

Maybe cos they saw me wash my own sweatdrenchd rags in bucket in there loo?

Or the angry james yelling butch to th giggling gaggle of 7 indian guys he had to bunk with ..who wouldnt shut up n sleep

(Im paying tourist money there free)

Arrogant pricks indian guys..its why nz werkin gals often say NO INDIANS

Too right lady! I couldnt sleep with them .

Last day im resting at dhoula great place

Confluence of rivers n bridge from paper jeep road deep in park..

Walk up a steep stair path fer something to do..do qi gong up there..

Huge slabs of marble stairs like a lions project or something..

Its beuatifull cedar n pine..views up various valleys birds i never seen before

Cukoos

Just wearily float up n up n up..meditating on rocks

Hypnotised on river song

Keep going up n up

Write some observational poem

Insight

Hell im a ROMANTIC

THIS IS SOUL RETREAVAL

Keep goin up n up

Im soaked again in my dry gear dammit!

Suns out..it ok

Discover yepthis aint a touist view point path

But main route to three farming villages

Way th fuk up

Ok..quitly look around..flys bite

Blood dribbles

Th trees are curiously all burnt at th base on purpose..th sap bled n ignited

Hollows are formed

Deep dark charrd wound wombs

Litter collects inside

Pinecones

A tobacco packet cast aside.

Mysterios arbourist activity

all th trees have this

Ive seen how fire is used in other forrests

Uglee..burnt ground cover..charred

Bizzare..

Airy vantage points above..

Being draind of blood the tiny black house fly buzzin

Go down zen path impossable steep decent

Almost bottom..can see th mule trains carrying coke n chips

Auto parts n sanitary pads

Cross th bridge

Have a wee self cogratulary sit down zone in..in sun

Theres this is struggling figure heavily cummin up path with a big backpack loaded..real grind obviously

Skinny guy leather jacket..

I at first dont wanna bbe seen..

You know objectifying his toil..tourist white privledge all that.

Me a poetic recreational dandy

Him a living man mule local.

He notices me

Shouldnt havve..that telepathic thing..we all sence when pple notice us..eh

Reader

We are very close you n i

Just a quantumn brain fart aaway

Stops..flops down beside me on flat rock

Exhausted panting

First local i seen sweat dribblin down face

He rolls around writhing in frustrated agony crying out uttering some candid curses n expleatives im sure in what ever language they have up here.

Its touching hes shared th pain

Intimate..

My winess has heloed his struggle even

Audience

I try n lift bag..old 1960s army canvas job

Fuckin hell bro thats gotta be 50 kilo!

I couldnt lift it

Took me 2 hours to ascend them stairs to them village farmlets

This guy..all ..i dunno 60kg of him

Carrying suger wheat tobbacco up fer his cuzzies up there

Slavery job maybe..maybe hes got a kid t feed needs th work..

Maybe hes a crim getting punished?

Maybe he gets to smoke opiem all day after n get his dik sukd? Dought it

Just a increadably humbling wee exchange fer me

Jetting about on a glamer bike

Walkin hills with me stephen king book

N diarys..

And this animal primal painfull labour of physical endurance concentration n agony of effort

Like mind body strength

Like birth n death

He was hurting man and only just begun going up.

Truly real n terrorfying.

Christ

Everyday back blocks indian man

Carrying the chippatti n sweat tea home

To his people

Fukin weeping

Cos id like to belong n mean something to something like that

Do sonething that matterd

Serve

Wanted

Tribal animal

Fuk off google ya cunt algoryrhem satanic grey meem of oil gkobalist faciest anti human

Cancer economy

Dead kennedys

Give me convienience or gimmie death

Play that on student radio mind mush these days?

Shoulder that debt fer the elders.

Kay..sermin commenceth befre im a asshole

Want a rare hot shower anyway

Flash hotel.(30$)

Cultivated hills apple frost cloth like fuzzy fungass on sides haphazard drawing or shaveing cut blotter.

State bank india traffic rules brings us shiva imf silk road primate might is right get away with what ya can and uglee is development.

Mccaon waz ere

Location location location

3000mtrs sick town

Th healing ceiling

Bee hive

Attractive progressive architexture

Road honey harvest

Dead creature pain belly.

Dihareha..shart ya pantys ×3

Fever

Weak

Very cold..hotel turns off power on my room

No use heater male kitch statis symbol

Stumble t loo in dark n cold heaps of times wet ssocks toilet water

..hotel next to good one.

Yell at th cunt managers...

Muster strength go to good one

run by a woman!

Guess what..i tell em im sick n need to recover..they ask how i am in th morning!!

Thats professional..ya pay extra fer that.

Noises on pre fever sweat sleep soaking everything..but comfortable

Monkey pops in gingerly ..Th street cricket match th yelling th masonry drill the jeep getting loaded th accellerating bus the toot irrithmic toots ..small voices near far..younf old.. th echos inside building th feet outside the chortling crows..The chorling crowsIn communication yesA primal talkWood beaten ..quasi rythmicly

The line of the great himalayan mountain range.

Nice subject ill try tonight.NOTE

THE NEXT 8 WEEKS WAS DEEP IN THE MOUNTAINS

WAS INCREADABLE CHALLANGEING

DANGEROUS

BACKROADS.

I LOVED THIS PART BEST

GOT MULTIPLY ILL

BUT GOT OVER IT.

CHOSEN TO NOT POST ABOUT IT

This is increadable.

And fer a more

Blunt

N concise engine room report.

Liberating heat death imminently

Or some suppressed energy devices

Reguler geniuses made ages ago

420am mumbai to kuwait to cairo.

Went ok.

Watched some psychic adolescent adventure film ...called dark tower on plane.

Interesting this...portal...unconscious..majic..

Cultural motif.

As troubled kid my self i concurr...majical abilitys visionry powers..and dark forces wanting to ruin ya are real.

Family...fer one.

But look..its totally realistic you can recover...and become a agent warrior nerd child of god..

Get ya will effort cape

N...dream possable ray emitter..

Yep.

Get the other cunts out ya head..

Tune ya star

Love who ya gotta love.

And isis be praised

That orians belt overdrive..

That zep tepi

That galaxy skyriver

Astral symbiot

All free..

Baby soul bubble

Th best

Egypts t shirts are interesting political spiritual logo iconic philosophys so far

Im intreugued as to there wider attitude..

More...mysterious than indias obvious ganesh shiva mandala stuff.

Ill investigate further..

And confer with the authoritys n alternative researchers.

Go on subway

Get a bus

Guy says ill show you

Horse ride in cheeper..

Bullshit..

I fall for it cos he seems reguler n helped me get bus.

Fuk never follow a dude whos helping you

Invariably a hustle.

50$ entry

Rrrrrrrrrr

Sucker sucker sucker

Im sure th young man there is just expressing a underdog sentiment

Around self empowerment..

Regards th koran on the dashboard

Cult virtue signal.

Tell it like it iz wee bro.

Another wee bro

Selling hot cooked kumara

Sweet potatoe

Which i thought weird in 37 degree.

Totally were kumera tho.

Had lunch with this local family..which was real cool..after i angrily ditchd th horse guy guide..

Cos he kept controlling me n selling me to his mates to walk up a pyrimid ect..

I dunno

Looking back i spoze wasnt bad..just..

Not knowing

Getting hustled..

Not understznding value currancy ect..

I get shitty if i sence being scamed.

Famly guy there

Aquard communication..

But hes a truck driver..real generous.

Saw i was on my own..i hadnt had bfast either

Had pita bread n cheese hummis type dip n tomato n bean goop..fizzy

Was delishious.

They live in big ghetto area called october 6th city edge of cairo.which i stumbled thru to get back bit dirty after winds n dust rubbish n stuff.

Normal peoples kindness..humanity

Versus

Industry nessesitys.

Can i reconcile human nature to these forces?

Its weird in foreighn countrys..i cant even see whats a cafe or restsurant

There kinda camoflageud..in th tumbly grot of broken masonry n donky poo..

Some good faces here

Big people..

Lotta bellys goin on

Curves

And some strapping muscild physics too..

Egypt..is not ancient egypt..

Or anything to do with pyrimids realy

Its..muslim.

Arab.

Im sure ancesters here..hauled brick or two up there for our lords tho.

Eh

Fuck man!

Try n get a train...or info...

But..

Get a bitchin mood on

Walk around metros n trainstations

Get a number wait in line

Get change

Wait three days..

Go to track 11 office

Come tomorrow

Usa doller only

No change

Come back tomorrow

You want what?

Wait here...

What you want?

Next station..

Only wendsday..

No change

Come agaon tomorrow.

Go back...us doller only.

Ok

Yes.

Seat one carrage one

19.45

Great innitiations...but i managed to get a coffee..a pita with non meat in.

And i can buy stuff from corner stores.

Th rest is a damn mystery.

Got m tickit to aswan..finally..

And..only took two days.

But im my own werst enemy and

Now i give beggers a bit.

Go hard soft core travel dude..

FUK MAN ITS INCREADABLE.!

THE PEOPLE

THE PEOPLE

THE PEOPLE

Feel so greatfull for art.Th sorta experience priest classes may have got in th past..We get to experience in intuitive forms inwardly.Cultures become saturated with information..Th high knowledgeNow populer..if u look for it.Spinning personal meaningSeems likeA role only nobles could have conceived of in these other eras.

Runn8ng the gauntlet in secret passages of ya own psycho make up

Trap doors n

Phantoms..

All inside

As is majic intention n

Will

Awareness.

The whole courseing bloodstream of a thousand billion suns

Fractal holographic

In ya blood

Breath

Fibre of being.

Ommm

Show quoted textYes!We are functionaries for the propaganda arm of the Human Spirit!Show quoted text

Seems pretty hard to get anywhere in egypt acturally.Spent a day getting train ticketWent to station three times got massivly run around beurocracy.I can see why pple do package tours..But..felt relief at th end.And going tuesday to southern town on nile.12 hour train trip over night.Read a few forums bout same run around n problems by pple. So its not just me.Its strange here..i couldnt find money changeing place around cornerAsked 6 pple...everything so discuised by grime and arabic signage thats not obvious...they say left side indicate with there hand..It may mean two blocks awayMay mean next doorMay mean take th left and stay straight.Its hard...no one understands the map on phone...to orientate.Many circuler conversations about th same thing so ya stop asking.Just sometimes..ya step out A car comes toward ya Or ya sit down n get told to get upOrYa go down stairs t subway and police says ya cant..All that...everything ya do seems thwarted.Later after i finally got ticket i got in th flow..felt like a spell quest compleated..was so relieved..took lots of cool photos..Kinda drenched in urban aestheticsTh architechture..faces...soundsThe men yell advertiseing there bus routes...its primitive. Very loud.Even enjoyed getting lost way back to hotel.Found how to get coffee..ya sit down out side in a chair..cant see th coffee shop or cafe guy.But they find you...Lotsa them hookahs going on.Lotsa that smell.Crazy dark alleys...lotsa shops on street..like india..bazaars. auto parts alley i found.Fine dust over everything...sand from desert..Chill nightsNot too warm in day yet.Been givin beggers stuff..a kid a pizza..ectIts a strange mix of old n new....Sleepin ok..Quite like th city...down town. Big.But hope to see some ancient stuff.Museum today.Hows it goin..?

Ancient egyption symbolism

Them plaster faces where so th rich dead guy could remember his face when he came back in spirit

In th tomb...to do it all again.

Thats a toilet man outside the museum

Doing big wees..or whetting the concrete

As wet concrete settles dust..or appears clean fer a bit. They do that in india too.

The lady seems to be elevating the soft toy..teaching the statue about postmodern irony.

check out micheal tsarion beyond knowledge on youtube.

(amoungst many )

Regarding atonistic ( solar cult this gent set up..underpinning monotheism globally)

and currant global mind controll mechanisms.

Interesting passionate man.

Micheal..

Cant speak fer aton

what th fuk am i doin

Tourist hustle bullshit..

Dislocated self

Playin out some childhood displacement..

Seeking

N looseing self

In crumbling identitys

Being re sold as content on others powerlessness

Th past..the present

The illusion the truth

Gas cement asphalt

Economic interests

Pesticide

Competitive

Food

Carnage land

Able to bear

Externalitys equals death.

Sucker sucker sucker.

Confused confusion.

Conversion of all the werld inta money

The debt externalised

Linear

Ocean of suffering

Humanity

Spirit world debt

Food for the moon

Been walking around downtown in a anxious delerium.

For 5 hours.

Cant find a seat

Food

Information.

When i do..i get very rude miscommunication..or get ripped off.

I dont know what im supppsed to do.

Literally i cant find somewhere to sit..

Im fuking tired..grumpy oversensitive

Waiting for a train

To another egyption hustle .

Where im.supposed to get a boat ride

For hundreds of us dollers.

Ya pay someone they never have change

Ya sit down ya get told to stand up

Ya walk on a footpath ya cut off by a moterbike who looks at ya dirty.

Theres carbs to eat.

And pizza

And pitA.

But ya dant order anytjong cos theres no way of knowong how t get served..or what ya want.

So ya keep walking.

And walking

And walking

And walking.

Ya go inta dark foyers of apartment blocks to sit down alone

Someone comes in looks foul at ya.

Im turning into a zombie..

Beyond cheering up.

It all seems meaningless

Th shops ...selking the same crap..

Vanity items...civilised charades of statis..

Wobbling fat rolls of over fed greed..comfort...ignorance

Unballance..bad lifestyle

mine n theres.

The head scarfs..pretty smart faces lips flash of eye

flash n bling on a t shirt

Beuatifull girls

Macho yelling guys..doing a deal loudly..hollering taxis or whatever there bitchin about

Whats it all for?

This over population..buzz of human..

This low quality of life this urban economic machine program of birth

Endless growrh..at expence of everything..

What is this hive...most of us inhabit..

Unconsviously cut of from source..

future worth living.

Or surviving in

Some phase transition of core principles..values.

I like some of the buildings

Expressions on faces

Theres a shit load of flys that seem attracted in particuler to me.

Maybe thats why everyone smokes.

Alot.

I got a seat in a large cafe finally

Me n th flys.

I might string it out fer ages..waiting for the train

People stub cigs out on anything everything

Id be in my hotel being miserable

but i had today to kill with no plans.

Cant engage with a tour operater without severe alergic reaction distrust n the feeling of being ripped off.

Not sure how to overcome this bias.

See egypt..at all.

Maybe my mood will change

Ill feel safe n realistic again.

Eat something..talk to someone..be socialised.

Remember who im supposed to be

And not get overcharged by a arab on the take.

Dont get me wrong

Theres some awsome people here

But

The tourist thing is so entrenched im nothing but a resourse

not a person.

It wasnt worth comeing.

But here i am.

I got 7 rusty bottle caps from th base of the great pyrimid i spoze

A

Flannel and tea spoon from th museum gift shop..

Thats right !!....beloved

A flannel and spoon

What a dandy!

Its realy weird not fitting in extreemly

Ya considder going to english language films like "jumanji"

Or

"pacific rim"

In th day

You resist th urge..

You

Wander pointlessly to a mark you accedently made on google maps

And take a photo there (the one says samer)

Yep...globo traveller pilgrim.

Do it

Itll change..

Youll work.out how to drive yaself in unfamilier cultural fogs

Or ya wont

Till the airoplane..back to the other strange place.

Why am i doing this?

Cos

That old guy was destind to put fish in my mouth

N prawn n salid in a pita pocket n overcharge me n watch me eat in that dark ally.

..

Was good.

So im a ungreatfull twat..

And evening softens the grind of walkin about.

I still stand outside juice places

N bakeries..looking smelling getting ignored..

But sometimes i get lucky..

Had a awsome carrot juice th other day.

Then some guy..says loudly from a cafe

Welcome to egypt.

He means it..

But im in zombie disasociative mode

Chatting to you..

I cant respond..im not feeling it.

I walk off..

But it was nice of him to single me out loudly infront of his mates.

so ya get th train..manage to cross the roads somehow

Get told it was at another station by friendly jelp desk guy

Who was wrong.

Sweeper guy

Acturally helps..yep right place.

Half hour wait

Go get coffee.

5hatll be twice what its worth anywhere else fer you buddy..

Makes coffee.

Oh no i dont have change.

I walk off.

If ya a snak bar at th railway stTion and you cant give me change ..you dont make th sale..

Next guy..

Show him th 50 pound note.

Can you give me coffee..and change that?

Dosnt look up

He slowly..makes coffee..never looks up..

No change.

Dude i showed you the damn 50..!

James walks off.

Third coffee stand now.

A woman!

I show her th 50..

Make sure shes understood th vast implications of th matter even tho we dony speak th same language.

She looks at me.

And lo

I get th bad instant coffee.

One of th other guys comes up to me now and wants me to pay him for his wasted non sold coffee.

I vlearly tell him to fuck off. Infront of th police.

He goes all outspoken..i walk off.

Stupid lazy imbecile coffee snak guys..

Youd think i work for them

.jesus..increadable

Im in th train..go to th loo to

Pee..theres water everywhere..puddles on seat thats how they "clean"

I flush..standing up

A torrent of high preasure power thrust gushs straight at my groin on my jeans..soaking my jeans n legs.

..th ass washer obviously i pressed th wrong button.

It reminds me i may need drinking wster for th 12 hour train trip.

Steps out..aquardly dripping.

Gets water.

Train pulls way

Sweeper guy (a true ally) urgently gesticulates for me to dash

Which i do and smoothly step on to rapidly accellerating away train in th nick of time.

Oh lord

What a day.

Nothing was stolen

Or hit by a car

Or mugged

Spoze independant travels spozed to be like this.

Good for ya intrepid blog no one will read .

But ya find it helos to write.

Maybe thats the same as art..

Dont matter if theres audience

Ya need to do it..like setting the universe right..

Reconc8leing forces..expressing the inexpressable..or getting close.

Or trying.

Spoze coffee dudes at trainstations might have that instinct..maybe im lucky to have that will to compute all these annoying failures in some metaphysical tangent of psycho emotional existential brainfart..

Or maybe being cross at my own malfunctions in how to cope or drive this guy needs a outlet.

Rareifyed sub cultural neurosis..honed

To imaginary possabilitys

If a possable is imagined ..

Like excellence

Does it mean it exists already?

Imagination being a kind of virtual actural in awareness.

Imagined is still something after all.

Thought form n feeling shapes.

..

So what are we realy..

Enmeshed as

In

From

This word nature

Art

God

Mind

Hell

Suffering

Love joy

Depth

Grief

Totality

Abundance

Transience..

Acceptance.

masks of state...former and present.

Ediface of meglomaniacal one percent.

Self styled intergenerational cult.

..in th museum in cairo..

All 5h toys n finery of the elite..all party political self god deity creation (artists would make)

And this small room for the farm gear..the nets hoes ploughs stuff like that.

Now..

A sacred river plane called khem..the black land

Cos th fertile soil of flooded delta annually

All the surplus of the hive..goes to elites..

While for thousands of years..the agricultural labourer..

Woman man child

Acturally enabled them priest woofters n there owners.

With lives in union of cycles..once were nomads.

Just saying...historys a con game.

On the way to abu simbel (3 hour starting at 4am!!)

the colossi

Theres these hill n erosion stones like sphinx n pyrimid..but natural.

All this was forrested in thousands of years ago..

Interedting 5hat feeling of large figures

Juxtiposed to the small of your own.

Then inturnally the largeness of ya self

Like that similtainious expanding contracting state

In infancy dreams

Falling infinite smallness

But enlarged massiveness too.

Mr felluca captain there..

Who started the dawdle with a long lunch while we watched him...im impatient cos i was already waiting 40 min fer my hosts hook up lateness.

then he hustled for tips..

Before

Nothing happens.

And after.

I love a bad ride and being shaken down n guilt tripped for there economic state..

Before receiving any kinda boat ride.

There bastards..loveable..but tourism sux.

I jump in th nile cos its hot.

Its fukn delishious.

I get told off

No swimming.

Your kidding right?

No.

This is what its come too..

People

Cant swim in th nile on a hot 40' day.

Fukit

I did.

But they look pretty. Thats the main thing keeping up appearances.

Aswan up nile being a ancient gateway to desert and africa..sudan ect

Lotsa spice markets..this one being fumigated with incence on coals.

No half measures!

Funny to think that alot of these ancient tribul traditions found there way inta white christian colonialism .theres a root here

Egypt religeon formation

Ethno botanicly theres acacia tree that bleeds sap..leaves expell a gas if eaten.

Acacias got alot of dmt in it.

Reckin the ancient egyptians burnt harmala as incence

Acacia tree of life tea

Myrrh..scent

They totally did ceremonial magic

With pharmaceuticals..

As did mosus (a egyptian pharoh btw)

Just saying..

Gnosis...the land..nobility...spirituality...

Ancient of human animal.

Not a nano tech..communion wifi

A plant body cosmos relationship.

But oil technology cults..are pretty afraid of that.

A addict culture...terrofyed of addiction.

Keep it safe eh..

Economic metrics set you free ..perpetual growth

Progress

Slavery.

Theres a reckoning happening as we get upgrades..see clearer..

i dont know shit about shit

Call that humility if ya want

Or

Ignorance.

As soon as i get a perspective attitude..

Its criss crossed with multiple other possabilitys...in time.

I like listening to heaps of researchers

About stuff

Orthodox n so called alturnative.

Spoze one precious thing bout humanity

Is curiosity

And...creativity

That quantumn wet ware up on the antenna spine eh.

Fields

Spheres

Matter

Took a walk like a black sheep

Dared not pay to enter temple.

Walkd th back roads of arab town ghetto.

half preditory hustle

Half friendly male aggressive botchd communication.

Cant order a tea without mass misscommunication. Inflated price

And deception.

Yep..

Even th kids intimidate . Order ya round.

Cabin ship guy flicks a can inta th nile

I scowl at him

Come on man..its ya river ya goddess

Ya job even.ya wanna flick trash in?

In front of me?

Wtf?

Sorry sir..big grin..like fuk you whitey.

Jesus...poverty..of?

Mind?

Mass tourism a factory conveyor belt of shame.

Still..im enjoying my window seat in bed to the river glideing past.

Listening to terrance mkenna going on about metamorphisis n techno alchemy potentials dimentional fluxs civilisational eco disaster triggers to mutogenic biological evolution

To survive outselfs

museings from 90s.

My golden age

(Tho was wretchardly painfull at th time)

Theres th touts waiting to get us.

They cant see me cos of mirror reflecter.

Travel takes me out of routines of safety habit..

Puts me uncomfortably in front of my own patterns

Safty protection..assumptions..bias

Emotions and mental challange.

Roots of pathology..the hard stuff.

The journey..

Is where ever i am of course

Some prolonged rituals force exposure

And reflection..

There isnt a theropist

Or elder

There aint no guide.

Theres a coupla friends

Who know

Most dont want too..in them selfs

Its lonly.

But thats what it is.

Were all there reLy.

Thats what art is

Being hurt in a hurting world

Trying to make sence of it..

While polishing the facade

Or attitudes

Reverance

Believe

Knowing

Egypts not entirely safe or good.

Its like india is fairly restimulating.

What am i doing wrong?

What am i running from

What would i like to change

To love me better.

About knowing whats real and whats false

Rattling around in my reaction judgement heart

Seeing ..oh god..im way down the dangerous rabbit hole again.

Fulla shit

Human..laughter

Just sirender..

Hope in not knowing

Could all be so healing!

Forgiveing understanding

With out th religeous bits

Just had a meditate with this guy.

He kneels

I sat.

Islam preyer just hollerd thru th air

As i decid3d to sit.

In this temple..my body

But this structure

Is set n fenced off

So i got some peace.

Seeing all this pomp n bluster of ancient

Religeus devotion ...one up man ship n statecraft

Piety..propaganda meaning history

Language..architechture

Makes me realise its all baby steps

in human potential.

Like..what we are..as babys as adults as elders

What this form comeing

Going

Impermanentness

Or even transmutation into more subtle forms..spirit vehicle

Th galaxy..

Its all inturnal..with out authentic practice

And

Well..includeong getting lost

Forever

Theres nothing that aint corrupt

Without sincere humility

And or

Pain

Resulting letting go to some more fundamental law.

We are

So for me..

Will humans survive technology

Whats ..

Harmony look like in a birth

War

Panic attack

Or massivly potent existence sub bubble

As self

Other.

Were as good as our problems

Im a middle class tourist in de nile

Valley of kings

Them or us?

I want reality

Truth

Fundamental essence

Arts like history

devotion

And journey

And shadow

And illusion and lower and higher

Human condition similtainiously

At differemt time waves

..

We can only exist in th conditions that cosmic n terrestrial patterns n relationships allow

Were guests.

Passengers.

Egocentric anthrocentric

Widen peripherys ..extinctions monocult

Pyrimid schemes of management

Light body

Potentials

Massive smallness

Brain mapping

Sound vibrations

Radio waves

Deepspace dreams.

Museings on intra contact

In ancient..human

Recent earth time.

Yep

Its about time

Spin

N light

Pooopt

Big shaft down

What all the pharohs do

Go all...cavey apon death

Pomp of the belief sysyem small print

Writ large

Easter sunday

N

Egg

N

Escaped the shitty town.

Although parts of me are objectivly observeing..impartal.

.as it is

Glad to be experienceing this!

And

Parts of me are..

I hate these guys..the scam hustle dishonestly ..confrontation..

Ect.

Still..great street "art."

Was it safe?

Not entirely.

Ancient theme paRk tourism with 5h irony of the old m3ga wealthy

In th land of the poor.

I get it..

So how do ya visit with out being part of the us n them.

Im in train reguler carrage back to cairo.

Security dudes gave me tea at valley of kibgs a guide a wee bread stick n feta.

Thats hospitality.

Th tour agemt although maverick shot gun incomprehensable

Did deliver on hos program n tickets..

Thankfully

Th swanky kitch cruise boat was pretty good deal n relaxing.

So happy..

But

I didnt know..

And ya hounded fer cash incessantly on every corner..paraciticly.

Found my self yelling in a aggressive guys face to leave me alone.

We hada butch staredown confrontation.

Ya say no to th horse carrage or taxi

6 times..theres a guy right in ya physical space cutting ya off theres 6 of them

They think by yelling taxi at me

Yes yes

Where you from

Is gunna make me want to ride with em.

The weird thing is

If i did want a taxi..i probly couldnt find one..who understood where i wanted t go.

So i tend to walk

Se stuff

Occaisionly let my gaurde down n meet someone.

Things work out.

Never spoke to a woman.

Poor old arabs..

Whats to be done..

In a cafe tvs on.

Its a show with a handsome woman being victimised crying..th guy keeps grabbing her throat.

Yep..couples were watching it.

Ok.

Dont get me wrong we are twisted mofos too

Anyway..go jeesus.

You survived again.

Osirus..mytho

Body doubles

This whole middle eastern mutation

Mind controll belief virus..

Culture.

Constipated ape heirachy of feudal lords global farm.

Dunno

Human experience

Shadow ego diatribes

Burker ridder soul hide

The

Wonder

Just below..

In..

As

All.

The word

We call nature

Intelligent planet

sick

In bed..some bed

Somewhere

Product of screeming in the street for a guy to leave me alone.

You know..the guy yer in jail with.

ya dad..who hates ya

Ya self

In this case the economic oppression of poor country

My white man privledge

Some me

Someone doesnt like much

Whos that then?

Feel like i fuck it up all the time

Includeing saying that.

Its like depression throws a filter over who i am..

I can sence the architecture..

Lost the person i am in here..

Cant seem t relate to anyone..connect

Just floating..

With negative vibes worrying

Theres insight

Dont attach..

Watch th breath..

Conceptually

Practicly..

Life

Is all it is

Sun conscious self

My hearts skippin beats..

Cairos buzxing

Infection whelms

Planet says

All part of th delivery mechanism son

Be fruitfull multply

Bacteria

infection

Immune system n energy cycles

I cant pretend to understant..

Reduced to the shadow of my bloated ego..

Bloated

digital ego

Need

Need

Take it away

Then

And...flat 2d time..crumpled..memory ..

A fake sighting

No

Unreal

Spheres we see you..

House builder

Pyrimid arcitect..spin megnetic code multidimentional space

Story inside

If

I could unhook from his typical mundane suffering

like blanket..

Nothing special..

That blessing acceptance

Despair

Undead deniles

Monstrpus materialisms cuboid conclusion

Set meaning in tiny packets of false limit n fear

Animal husband

Rich boss

River heart

.flow land..all gift life

Grain fruit meat vegetable

Atoms as super processers

Computer solar system

To be sure

How can there be seperation

I am onewhen i notice what im noticeing and

makeing it up fluidly

as i go

governed by underlineing

narritives eh

Feed bavk loops

Bondage

acceptance

faith healing

punishment

victim spell

Tumbled

In blame

Judge

Split person

Unreal

Seeing it

Links to genocide

Alchoholic skitzoid deveststion

Colonial rehab

Prison

Bio metric mother state

Abandond..

Dont fit

Th program

Articulating self change

In lessons of hairloss

Pain needs help..

A smile

Intelligence a primary rythem..secret warmth ..language lips my dna profile

Witness

Sad packing up

Airport

Sleep daze..

Sore throat

Theres something wrong with me

Was it good to be born?

Realy.

And..relative meaning forbids god

For

A world behind this stutters a child knowing before ya face was

Intersection expander

It was good brillient n troughs n.peaks n you can rationalise the meltdown as much as ya science thinks it knows

impotence

But our best are weakening th majic barriors

Worst still

Ecternaks build high demigods of demon lie

But so obvious we vote with our hands

Produceing

Loved artifacts

Telling of times forgotten

Thresholds catching my foreskin in th zip of collapse histry

Dunno who th fuk t be

Even t m self

Its exhausting.

Too much identity confusion

Belonging wish

Selective reject.

No body knows ya like ya self

Thats th problem

Its inacurate diagnosis

Ya utterly mad

And there never was sane or normal

Im afraid.

Everything is only about money

And we will kill everything giving it to you lord

Sorry im alive

fuck you bastard.

on a happeyer note

All will change

In every self conscious self observed

Illusionry self

Moment

Re flecting bad patterns in a loop

Is there a bad pattern in nature?

Idea courseing curse or blessings in fundamental cosmic void popping nano seconds

Bedrock erodeing

Damage creating

Vice like screeming babys in the universe

Law as we imagine

But cant know

Embody the situation

Accept responsability

This is it eh

PREFACE NOTE

This is a long journey around india from south to north on a royal enfield motorbike.

To both tourist places and random inbetween up blind alley places.

One

might call it a mid life crisis pilgrimage

Although the crisis has kinda always been there...

But thats the way the fat lady sings in the supermarket of extinction n renewel..

Go well my son

Words like quim long wonder up start

Wont occur often..

But then again ...i controll your attention.

So anything happens

As it does.INDIA as

Anarcho chaos field of fall apart trashbag primitivism cartoon religeon greed death hungry

Innocent child heart

On motoscooter

Is a short sub title for any one wanting to refrence this in there phd thesis.

(i do naked interviews for 500$ )

karelais a socialist state ..meaning the worlds only democraticly voted communist state....also indias predominant christian colony from portogese n english missionrys...consequently..in 2017 LULU mall indias largest indoor complex to capital..is here..apparently this means a progressive attitude...

I cant quite fathom the paradoxs of global capitalism brand fetishism of monoculture..

And democratic communism..

Sigh...

The planets a mystery son !

as are the apes..

But the heart light..

Flow with the traffic rubbish n mysterys.

The little guy is kinda supportd by th local governmnt...a few traditional art things like tabla citar concert.

..also no smokeing in public no drinking...so nice vibe !

The rubbish fires sux ass tho...bad foul satan incence.

THE PEOPLE ARE AWSOME!!! I LOVE IT.

PAPA NOEL burnings in fort kochin. A hybrid indian cathlic zone...hordes of rabid sober young males partying like a suger rush...burning th wiker man.! Sooper fun. Then in alleys they burn there own santa effergys. ...burn th man! (Images snakebeings.org)...

And kathakali trad pantomime with complex sign hand language. Basicly this demon chops up his lady..dont know why...? Some backwater canoe sailing...tourist tour. Saw cottage industry co op industry...and artist run space called B . C. backyard civilisation... backyard civ

Emit getting a toy drum lesson..before the big parade.

White man cometh!

And cometh...(but isnt portugeese misionry..)

We went to this fishing beach and talked with locals on the rocky pier ...why were we tourists here? So far from the bar n cafe....haha

We went off on our scooters down the line..innprep fer a more major away mission to th tea n tiger hills...battling thru th small roads..flowing around potholes..cows..busses bearing down named infant jesus..ect...

Shambly ancient modern nowness n child smile motobike mini vrooms.

Plush homestay in hill town munnar...hyper tour guide man ...fee rides...egg toast bfast...

Top station scooty rides pothole buss overtske on blind corner

Might is right on ya ...logo is..

We the romance kings!

Stop fer coconut near th eucalipt forrest monkey and dam...100 tarpaulin gift shops selling same crap...

Boy deftly whak whak whak off top of coco nut..still all fingers!

Nice drink scoop flesh from inside..

Tonight indiginous amcient martial art dance...on way waterfall n spice farm...

And i got sick...

Its innitiation...over stimulation..

And travel..

Stayin bed..pain draw into inturnal..

Reflect...passage

Perceiveing perceiver

The guy sneezeung perhaps

Selking the deepfryed chilli pepper..

The waterd down lassi ?

Cant be helped.

Yesterday...up to largest mountain...in karela..

ANAIMUDI

Sheer bluffs...home to a rare thar..and 12 year only blue flowering brush...( amidst the roadside maggi n omlette chai stalls from mad max..)

Increadably ameanable kind n pleasent...pple call out to scooty riders..hullo hullo!

The childlike joy n fun in everyone is increadable.

-

Deep cut gorge...

Dolmins n shonkey rock art by this ancient primitive..

On " built like a gun" royal enfield classic..

We pay trek..

Find

Leopard poo!

MAD 11 hour

BIKE TRIP ON TAMIL NADU TOWN route

To...madarai...

Big temple...

road warrior flows

Mountain road..bus swing out wide

Horn as force field

"Please sound!"

Drives at night...brave soul

Uses the force

And pothole chicken cow pig

Evade..

Flow with the critters..

He found coffee..! So can make his own.

Local mountain growen.

Not milk suger weak nescafe...

1200 year hindu complex temple.

Golden piller...

Meditation group inside

Pass by old man in backroom..

Pay for blessing..stank of urine..

Sounds like religeon to me

Meditation loverly

Gentle body awareness

Light in heart

Relax

Simple

Then...anything else youve ever done..forget.

I the only way

But but...this similer to qi gong i say

He say..

You do my way or leave!

I was just enjoying this light in my heart

And comes down t a controll heirachy realy.

Just like qi gong!

Haha..human politics ego n power.

Or male heirachy?

In this one instance i see the whole problem..

I leave confused annoyed . Briefly however i was meditating in 1200 year old living temple..like a ritualistic cave of stains n encoded dirt preyer majic n belief..intent will n humility of astronomical mystical past science integreated sci wisdom.

Family domestic tourism trinket sales fever

And snaks always snaks!

Hmmm

Cop on gate had automatic weopon..but very friendly...

In this city in tamil nadu they celibrate pongu

A ancient fertility harvest fest

Where some sects ...fight handsome goat..like our pal here.

Some cold mountain incubate bacterial infection in warm humid kochi.

..hustle the corner...

My friend

My friend

My friend

Stay in cashmere..some yes.

Talking..cough cough..splutter.

Like israli bike guy selling crap tank

Rattle

We...ble graze..discover vhess in ambient corners..poetic solar cafe

Art biennale library...meets..

Contemporary smart...gallery emerging.

Climates..social

The whole place organic installation..

Kali temple..salt pile

Chai tea..poured in air...chippatti dough spun thin..

Input hot dirt in lungs..

...arcane motobike deals..offers

Registrations certificstes

Big numbers like 80 000 rupee

Ect.

Cautious..and....steady research.

Recycle plastic yard..boat fishing dock

Converted gallery warehouse

Chats with the muslim arvo gents about communism..n art gallerys..

Water storm damage on new pier fort cochin

Uru gallery....climate photo essay between russia sudan n karela india...

The dude on the classic white 1978 bullet..with handmade custom exhaust..pure metal!..thup thup thup..at

40 kph thru donky goat road

Tryin t sell..i been asking round fer a week now...

Cy thonmbly eat ya heart out..graphiti outside hospital.

Like interviewing fer wife..but..more not to die in india realy.

Kali willing.

Was out in th boonies..bought m phd film chum in mollywood a chai n fryd thing.

Was instantly engufed by loveing school boys all wanting me to buy them one.

Cept i asked what there dads did..real estate i was told. Sigh..i buy rich kids fryd things.

This guy is a craft emporium sales guy. This guy not too bad...a state employee. Th tuk tuk guys take ya to these places and get payed to do so. 200rps a head.

Once inside..aladdins cave of desireable consumerable carved n woven handicraft.

And dont repeat dont...

Engage the carpet guy...they will hypnotise you with there performance...

Stats

Technique

There cashmere family hand labouring your silk carpet..like thousands of years ago...

...even if true...the hustle...is pure theatre.

Ove had it four times now...

There trained to perform this....its something.

I tend to feel cornerd like a fly. Break th spell by walking out.

....

But i offer to tuk tuk friend..who test drives my bike options as a veterin. I kinda like the average small hustler...they more human. Maybe about class?

Dunno...tuk tuk dudes humble...bottom of th pile service

Observe people all day...locals. the pple selling stuff..

Are also the culture..ironicly.

Abdull RA HEEMS SON

has a "love marrage"

And therws 28 familys down there that need my help

Cos i met him 30 secs ago.

Indeed his daughter was glowing.

The old...scrabble in dirt lime children..gibbering

Pple my age bath in trash maranaded stagnant water..

While proudly declareing cleanliness..

I did notice a public toilet with officious language on it declareing no open defication in the street

But the guys seem to squat..in there checkerd mini skirt

N do something with there private parts..

Yoof tear off to the river..kavery

Thats very low..

And gather sacks of sand...for the loophole economy fer middle eastern development...cement.

As theres is salty of course.

The chaps get 50 roops a sack. About a doller .

En masse i suppose a oil fed condo complex could be built..

Meanwhile...earnest christian indians tell me about vedic tradition and jesus corrolations at the shanti vannam ashram.

Where eucharist freeks me out with th auto hypnotic group think

But seems appropriate in a medieval mind world

Strung out between forces

Of global capital n science occult materialism.

The who am i of vedic historys

The why do we suffer of bhuddist theologys

The ecological..biochemicle hazard of burning rubbish..n

The man with the cheezels!!

And theme park idolitry!

And modern cop comedy scary movie haunted house psycho mumma KALI right wing hindu mytho politic propaganda

And

Christian mystic oasis..where americans and nz artists come (suggested donation)

But my cell is safe...

There was this fluke of stumbling apon a organic farm in small town..down from military tiger tourism hill..where you can eat lunch..pay for a 2 k walk or go back..national park.

In fact the man said this was SHIVAS TREE it exuded more oxygen than any other. He was trying to grow lots.

We lamented the mono culture coconut plantations around here...for trendy coconut cooking oil.

The super moon bloodmoon blue moon just happend..

The lunch preyer bell just sounded.

Stop drawing james.

Damn spiritual tourism bollix...

Thin veneer of the ghost of past colonial culture wars....infiltrateing the personal ritual of how ya know ya self..

Language aboration

Tool paracite..

And ya walk a circle

Sideshow of currancy ..bluffs n beggs community..

Meaning begs..

Up th hill..sweat like a pig..isolated disasociated..

Relaxed warm..

Tides of traffic..magnetic electro mojo..

Heart..

Opening..

Knowability...

Greedy fearfull lust arrogance..

My baby

..

Who is this

White fella

Human

De population protocols

N toxic fluride flush my cellulite

Broken home n mental health addiction social decay loops abundant ...

Retard pantomime..

Ritual on auto repeat..

Pattern

Self hypnosis....

Time cutureates feedback loops

Incorperating..

All in the bits

Reflecting

Dimentions in

Shy..

Slights of mind

crime alchohol unemployment

Soul

God

Life

Intelligence

Bio rythmic feedback of..

Whole sustainable puke econometric

Buisness abortion

People heart..

Livin in ya open sewer

Rubbish n

Mother heart atom

In the dirt

Holy n normal

Motherfuckin

Normal people.

Maori

There is only traffic

Tooting

Eternal incessant prehistoric tooting

Grinding

Pushing...edgeing

Heat carbon monoxide

Grit dust

Lung chest nose sinus problem

Rubbish burn offs

Traffic

Potholes

Angled dickwads comeing straight at ya

Pple walkin infront of ya

Pple smileing pushing infront

Four pple on a scooter...behind a overloaded lorry of steel bars scantily tied on

Traffic like extinction flow of glacier melt

Of my termite mound economic nessesity to leave bigger carbon footprint

Traffic...to be my own master of destiny

In

Ridiculous fossel based suicide rigged willing ignorant

Peasant revolt...

Traffic

As dayly preyer of forgivness acceptance and unmanageability

Whwre is any of us going?

Culture subsumed by anamalistic guteral unconscios plennem of riseing noise...primal machine

Cyborg lang...a forrest..a ecology

A

Tortored nazi slavery economic totalitarian capital trance..

A gods demonic curse to a species..

A

Addict getting th kids hooked..

Traffic

A get to know you thing..

Till...we...achieve a bio mesh of telepathic flow

My synchronous rightbrain mumma feels

Yer nature data..

Omm

Preyer in perpetual change growth

The breath we share

With grit n death fumes ..

The

Space time co ordinates of the continual movements...the information cresendos

In the

Petrol wet dream of peaking

Climaxs..

Joined in grey snake third werld rides

Fat tittyed small dogs languidly smile padding across moterway

Cow

Goat

Boy

Allco existing on road

Old man tight leathery skin ...checked tamil skirt thing..waveing stick...

Woman pushing cart full of a pathetic clutch of unappealing snacks.

The profound commercial reality of buy sell

Anything all th time

The currancy in substrata of undeginable layers of value..to different in different states

The cloneing degradation of a high civ..

Gone semi ferral..in times cascade of forgetting...

Some intellect on auto pilot..

In cells..

Rural industry propper

And abandonment at some fundamental spiritual ecological disease level

Walls around ya factory

Shit smell smoke rubbish damage

Rape violence decay

And

Thatched hut

And

Ripped building apart...still living in torn half not fallen over to make way fer road..

Still...havnt seen violence as such.

Guns..or hitting.

A nieve well obedient unruly class of children ..doing as god made them to do..

Breed..

Create wealth fer there betters..

Shuffle about..drink tea

Ride a scooter or honda hero

Or indeed

A enfield across india with backpack strapped t back like art cad dandy..on safari..

Still..im sure the neo con mefia mind fuck of nzilds gentrifying slave natzi mind is doin fine in its boomer prestigue of lifestyle denial codes democratic

Feudal totalitarian capital global heist locust prison farm..

..

Were a ancient majical animal

Who thru agriculture class has alienated ourselfs and all ecologys habitats

To certain death ...

Life boats..and dependant addicts..global juggernaught of splintering social viable meaning purpose and werth

..

A sublime stuttering depressive tradgedy of brillient terror mundanity

And

Oh

Divine awareness...

Cell

Vibrates

To

Whole

Under phenominalogical waves

echos

Points arbitory refrences of transitory everchangeing..un fixed non certain

Unknowable

Expanded ..from top down

From in out

Subtle form..built

A playing

Laughing

Child

Being bullyed by sadist giant..

Ruthlessly abuseing everything.

True story

Empire

Infested dust sinus

...great raod knight thy burn

Him dream androdiginous shiva dad

Table top chipaTti dance...

The ancient alien

Tech o spawn n refrag...

Smoke drift in preyer symbol

67 k day..

N

Welldressed old wimmin begger denys ya tea n buiscuit offer

But hounds n grabs n effectivly psycho muggs me

I react butch...aint having this!

Just fed some chickens crumbs ffs

..she wanted eat gesture

I offer tea n buiscuit

Thinken her fat pal there n flash sari a bit of a mid class giveaway...

What ya want? Me to buy ya a house?

Never be yours anyway..always the states

Th councils

Someother demon conglimerate..

Mm...short of punching th old locust

Grabbin at me feverishly not hearing no

I wasnt gunna be mugged

I drove off.

I choose when t give

..i do aswell

But not on command..by a pushy bastard.

Hard not to get negative n take that with ya..

This countrys like a psychic mirror

Its echos in ya own karmic loop cycle

Instantly

Im...a harsh judgemental prick..with short tollerance n lack o trust.

Still...big picture may be a bigger highway..and heart

I know who you are

I know you better than i know my self

YOU ARE A PART OF me

The kids been to doctor wearing a shirt that speaks to me...i pat him..th wimmin nearby ignore me..if id been a lady id have fussed on there kids too..but its a bit segregated...im suspect ...anyhow..the hotel residency was atrocious horn noise all fkn night.

Now theres angle grinder n hindi pop blareing from a builders busted stereo

To backgrounds of well dressed little madams from matriculation school...chanting national anthems..

Dum art noise kiwi drug kids

You dont know shit...

Thats a garage fertility shrine wall fer ya millit crop..

Its jimmy cooper same same in andra pradesh!!

Its auspicious to show a white guy in black..ya baby while he eats ya kai..

(70c meals)

Yeah...roadside primitiveism with corperate development

Stone age style labour

Barbor me chit chat oilchange no language

TEA N OPEN SEWER MARANADE

No ones holding this nation back!

Go mars

Regardless of how im enjoying "it"

Its a privledge

And education to travel.

And detatch engage question

Ones own culturated inputs

While judgeing anothers... ahem

The process of being ok

In ya self

In strife

Perpetual upheaval

Everchangeing churn...

Life on her own terms

Distress

Disease

Serene comedy tradgedy heroic good hearted folks

Ignorant stupid ..greedy...discusting

Beutyfull..friendly...

Intollerable

Intimate

With you

Intimate

Dependant

Intimate resighned

Intimate the loss of everything as one

Intimate

Decays cancer sterilisation

Intimate

No soulutions

Weoponised narritives

Weathord weopons

Economy slave

Algorythems extend collapse time vectors

Decisions...

Power...backlogs..fakes ..watchs garden mutate...inputs tech.

None of my concern

Machined media

Pilgrim

Can we be said to enlarge our capacitys as we age?

To...extend beyond the confines of our birth

The edge extending...?

Knowing less n less more horizons bleed into smog n sun baked desert rock with fluttering advert wrapped around tree..

Privledge of passage lived life

Abandonment

Need

Want

Gain loss

Emo circuit restimulations

Belongs

Home-

-Less

Voids

Go on..

Give in...you probly dont exist anyhow

De

Colonise

Or

Re member

Ya primal innocence

Mumma babe

Dad protect

Circle sustain

Ancester workshop

Whos noticeing

Quest ion

Make it in simple terms

Bacterial

Servant

Savant

A godfell to earth

Degenerated

A upswell

Flood

Ground water

Holographic universe

Solution focussed

Hahahahaha

Autonomy war

Robotic subservience groupthink

Artists will inspire

Thinking fer yaself like the other bright ones do

Majics real

Real isnt so real we find

Higher trust

Living intelligence

Somestuff we cant see

Willing ignorances

Light vehicles built of belief consciousness will n energy

Higher dimentionally charged

Hmmm

I am storm..

The words biggest tree

Tomorrow

_________________________________________

Enter thru thru th hold up point..carpark entry fee..

Welcome relief....small town shsnty village india back road...

Wild west scapes rock butressed boulder peaks..

Shaded lanes n dry wells...

But woman calls to me to fill my bottle..so kind..

I play with th kid by pulling white man faces..

....

Strange shrines with outsider art..

And outsider priests merrily inside the art!

Its funny..ya come across the planet

And get the most outta the simple suff

Leaves falling in breeze

Smile from stranger

Cups of tea with old dudes

Swim in river

Sit on warm rock lookin at sunset

While listening to village farm people unwind in valleys

Stars come out..

Dreams..

In a crouded city tonight

I saw a woman boiling a big round pot by fire on footpath

We want that connection

With what we are..

Elemental

The supermarket guy got his pantys in a right bunch wen th price on th organic tulsi tea bags all individually packaged

Wouldnt input

It was probly th most new age wankster thing i consumed here..

Buiscuit chip n comfort crap has been my addictive poison addmittedly..

And coffee..

But..th flash supermarket couldnt compute th herb tea...strange

I went n ate th rice n chutney on banana leaf...as ya do.

The moterbike feels like a horse..well a modern one..

I didnt burst inta flame today..hooray.

Petrol was overflowing however.

Ive had a real short fuse with indians

recently..

Its a cognitive dissonance

Th rules keep changeing

Im constantly stared at

Begged at

Misunderstood

Woken up

Ect

Still its me that sits in my wee meltdowns

Its good to say no often

And assert boundrys wen a bit on shakey ground.

I wanna be friends with this

Not adversary

Bit like my own culture too

Which i feel malajusted and highly skeptical of its goodness..

Doesnt leave ya many places to belong

Alienated like that

Call it family shall we?

Then again..the diseffected are probably more the norm than not

Were all refugees and the enemy of the system weve created obeyed and submitted too..for generation apon generation..

Stick my feet on the planet

Take my sick

Beamed in from another star

The meat suit

..

Wave form flux pulse

Dont think much of religeon

Its shrines

Its childish mockery of my attention..

Like toys in ideological cartoon mythosphere...

A psycho pop archtype fetish ...of ancient politics n social order...

With a kernal of mystical inner coded magical histry..

Hmmm...sci fi

Tramshumanism

Gods

Genocides

Ecocides

Are we forever bounded by the limits of culture class language environment?

Or can there be empathic union in common expwriential data fields?

Oh i dunno

The suns magnetics

Reckin eco sci tech n fem intuitive heart mind uplinks

In ya dreamtime baby

Primal animal

Un insured

Or insane

Yep

Ahh

Enterthre blockade of gang wimmin..

Carpark money

Whirlwind trash paperplate sacred place

Desert

The commodifyed temple

Tree larg3st (guiness book record 1989 baby)

Wheres the centre?

Begging priest motions to concrete slab painted gayly..

Right

Mousoleum..

But...about same age as some philosophical passing sage of rishi valley ...600 year ago

The field of energy in seed...we can enhance inform

Mutogenesis!

Stress responces

Emvironment gene

Symbiosis

Open sewer gag

Piece of watermelon next to that sir?

Sir?

Sir?

its quite excellent to hoon thru someone elses country in multiple fractured congealing states of cultural logics

On 1920s designed bike

Maxing comfort speeds of 80kph 90 tops

Radicilly down gearing fer massive rupture in tarmac...

Or happy suicide dog titty jiggle patterer across road..(dunno why i notice all the grinning bitchs 6 tits)

Spoze in nz we get a lab to breed em secret like

Or rubbish happy sewer pig

Yum yum yum bacon boy

So had a big tourist ghetto rest at hampi..

Woulda been georgus...almost was

Cept fer th dark taint of greed n th constant veneer of take..more more more

But nature is a ambivilent whore like that..

Still shines on..

Swum in a lake

Dudes be trying to sell ya drugs left right centre..weird seeds..

I meditate with th trash on glowing rock heat sunset ...

gramps paddles by in round boat thing...fat moon shines...euro teens take a rest from the israli army or

Sweedish child gameshow casting directer careers..

Eat german bakery food items made by itinerant nepalese chefs...

Some kids fuking with my bike at night..so i gotta leave..before i beat him.

What my good name does

Is pick up jaunty 9 year old boys in uniform who flag me down fer a free bus service..hitchhike after school..

Had a pair last...

I was that kid at 15.

Ahh karma.

Blues were beaten with some surly introspection n conversation with strangers..

Before th hustle got to me..

The brazillians under the tree

The pom (jeesus type) been in nz fer a year...the turk hottie baiter wanting attention...

Yoga n stuff in india is a white euro mid class thing..

The rest is shrine wershiping disny land fer medieval morons ...im sorry

Just think ya trapped in a bad cartoon guys

But arnt we all!

The sky is that brown beutifull kinda haze it is before sunset..

Karnakata seems on to it..tidy..organised..

Oh...if i had to condemn the indian on one count alone...in firey tabernacle hell

Twood be the overtakeing on blind corners

Truck on bus action..

Me head on.

I slow down pull over on th dirt verge.. and toot like fuk at the fuktards..

Cunts..id love to meet one of these bozos..

Seriously.

Still...the face is a friend..

We wave...

odd how benevolent my evil looks.

Goin to some appalingly named beach called OM BEACH i gokarna where im sure sven n halga will buff the dreads n

Order a panini...

But hey..

Not many palm tree beach shack type places in the himalayers...so tuck into it

Ive a b grade travel movie to enact!

I say b

Cos it gives me more artistic licence ...

Who knows i may solve my existential crisis

Make a friend

Meet god.

And all in one alergy sprey to my cloned conservative alienating hive of home.

Hope ya broadband fails ya braindead automotrons

Lotsa love agent fat twat vroom vroom

...

How are you?

May moon blessings illuminate your heart mind

Disolveing sinicle stain..mental refreactions of hate fear judgement

The process and awareness in humility of the absolute vaulnerability of this

And the miricle of being

At all

All is gift

Even the shadow

(Save post before wix malfunctions...fukn wix )

Amazeing ride thru warm well kept forrest villages

Stopped chugged down a litre of cold water..

Got to edge of ghats (steps)

Saw coast of sparkling esturys rivers coast

Om beach..

!!!!!

Yep got a cheap shack on beach

Am seduced

Long qi gong on rocks..warm ocean primal pull my eternal wassit

A few sepretist israli kids in gangs

A few cows n itinerant weirdos..

Swum round the rocks..

Saw moon come up dirty red

Danced briefly to tack-no cafe beats..

On rock..

Yep blessed ..

soldiers from the past

the gift of guilt

Time has come

Discard victim self condemnation

hatred passed on

passed on

Passed on..

Dormant potentials

Human powers

Then your that guy who treks off to the other bay..no shoes

And takes wrong path..(shoulda known no trash)

Goes down cliff rocks..sun baked burn feet ...hanging off fuckin sheet faces of sharp rok trying to find a path..

compleatly soaked with sweat...

10 min walk a 2 hour ordeal..

Sweat siaked flabby cunt inside out t shirt..

in pain...hahaha..with no one but you to talk to coz theres something fundamentally wrong with ya..

Cant let paradise infect ya..no siree!

spoze culda been lord vishnus way of detoxing me thru sweating ?..and moaning

Greatfull!

civilisations rise n fall

Fashions change

If i was to enter these tasty relics of lucious young feminine lower chakra adornment..

Into say

A nz drawing award

I may call them

Floride and the depopulation eugenics sterilisation agenda

Something about genes eh.

....

Days slip buy..im relaxing

Meeting innitiates from ritual spiritual psychedelic inner work retreats

Gunna get a frogs neurotoxin in me burnt arm shoulders aswell..puke m ring out.

Kambo

Some immune re jig amazon cureall

Black dog.

Meanwhile in my wee cell tender beads of sweat cascade his manfur belly

Pooling...running

He stands in meditation...energy up add down

doesnt pass out..

The waves come in and out..

He becomes turtle periodicly

Thinks of sacred pyrimid visits

Or

Is a hopeless sucker

Beuaty n dream like trance

A cafe beach bejeweld lifestyle

Doing nothing.

Puke ya ring out ya cunt

not like a body dismorphic fat guy

Fasting with self condemnation

No

But as baby in transition..

in some soul recycling auto destructive ecological ontological object

Oriented forenzic of mass extinctions wetdream

With love sweat leaking

Breathed gust ceiling fan promise

a

Higher electrical ceiling

Plasma n space weather

it looks like im doin all this stuff but realy im sitting in my room drawing..drinkin chicory coffee mix.

Seem to need alot of withdrawing time.

Today

A frog in the toilet

A lizard on hot sand

A bird in the glass window tapping at own reflection

A catapiller up a rope

A indian woman spying on my drawing

Snap shut

Later she fed me

Praises mumma..

My body mind self construct is here by reduced...nay...evolved to congealed bone flesh...inhabiting ocean

Plummets ability to recognise self

Heat

Heavey steps in atmospheres

To lie on shaded sand

Attempt restorative fateugue stretching

And some inward uplift

..

But sleep

Listen to the pictures

This is what rich pple do james when they go to goa dude

Nothing.

Eat the seafood.

Saw some curious critters scurry out of there wee sand holes

Funny how when ya do and are nothing

but momentary occilations of culture patterns in a meat suit

Ya notice the wee things

Th funny crabs

The happy dog panting

The possably impared skinny boy waiter..

Makeing a effort to spend with what seems to be local familys

(However thrifty and remote a goa this may be he steels himself fer th urban euro north bit.)

which now im here is a living hell of tunnels of t shirt sales stalls n bars n every clogged commercial plantation o cene economic prostituted bit of beach..

but equally devalueing ridiculeing any semblance of real..authentic..its a mockery of humanity...them selfs

I get hastled one too many times by scooter rental touts..t shirt stall zombies..

And im tired fateuged disheartend HOT AS MUGGY MUFFAFUGGER

and start my FUCK OFF routine

With them.

Which turns to street theatre with animlistic growls angily issued from my gut..they come right up into ya physical space..to get ya attention..

invadeing ya mind

I growl like a angry dog

Pick up rocks..

There dozens of these bored guys lounging round looking like they need a burglary war or family to support

But there shocked by my aggression..

which is bad vibes

But only as much as the land..the beach..has been raped by this shit tourist coulture..

Why would this be attractive to any obe is beyond me

Its a eco cide of economic social tradgedy..

Looks like a distopian alchohol n money coke binge..with th trash just off centre.

Theres weird russian white pple in matching beach attire..

Im in a chuck book

Or a comedy by waititi..

But then my finest hour..the big bro down with the biggest t shirt seller of all!

Huge man

In leg splint thank god.

Im walkin the gauntlet..thru th bowels of trinket alley zombie arcade..

One more group of leering obsequious pushy bastards confront me..

Why do they think i give a fuck about there generic bunch of shit made in china?

I dont understand where there imaginations..self respect...has gone.

This isnt poverty

Its conformist greed and ignorance..

Destructive decay..sad self abasement

Which im forced to be part of.

Me n big guy get mutually lippy..

He gets aggressive back at me

Were dogs barking

He motions for a fight..

I mock run up to him fast ..and startle him..he cowers...

And is more angry..as hes been shamed infront if his mates

Limping he thumps his chest..and calls m sister fucker n alk that..i laught at his fucked leg..and think this is ridiculous..hes fucking big btw.

Ghetto beach big guy

So i gesture more cocky platitudes ...

And face him..

But what james? You gonna have a brawl witth a wounded indian in gauntlet getto t shirt alley with all his mates looking?

Dude this is dumb..

Walk briskly away..

Which i do

And am lucky he doesnt follow too ardintly..

Besides my lower back has a new strained musvil..and i dont realy want a beating n then cops..or hurt this guy...

But fuck em..

Its intimadating and redundant sales strategy..

I admit im a cock

A somewhat foolish brave theatrical cock in a bad mood..but non the less..

Moveing on.

To my room at th back of paradise guest house near th servants bush bit..which she sweeps ardently like a meditation.

Watching this village like cluster at th back of hotel average...is about as close to village life im gunna get.

It rains a bit

I do qi gong fer three hours sweat like a bitch

Make presents for pple at home.

Talk too much needily at digital entitys

About depression and self recrimination.

Why i do these damn lonly journeys

And analise my pathological complex ..

Of fitting anywhere

Being of value

Being needed

Family

Society

Country

Civilisation

Fragmented feedback loops of unwanted children

On hero quests to be worthy

If only a rich person buys my fucking t shirt

Still...well have the discussion wont we

WONT WE

new zealand..

A reservation for us all...

Hospitality buisness management

Ya

A I ghoul

So remember son

Your privledged...your enacting some myth

Undergoing a ordeal..a self innitiation..

Its not about comfort

Or pleasure

Its about learning..edges..your own blatant bullshit

And blessings

Whats trueist

What to let go off cos its too heavy.

Yep

Observe th character

Its suffering

its misery its poverty its privledge

The sence of futility

And purpose..

Allways going there..never arriveing

Empty

Meaning

Joy is a icecream brand

And

What is the nature of consciousness

What does "god want" of me

In the

Desert..

The cliche of the primal re creation i evoke

In process journey..

To have said..

Ive seen?

To be humbled by my inadequesy

Appaled by debassed culture under capital

Wonder at resillience

How can i justify this...life style junket?

I intended art to mean something

So i had better live it

So i am

Flaaaaaaaaarpt

On ya bike then son...and away it all goes...the existential risk of trauma trigger..

In sleep deprication adandonment loner flashbacks

Needy holding one hostage..

Just for today

Tell your self the self help group posted the wrong information..and if your in trouble then youll get ignored...youve always mad3 us feel inadequit for not being as rhetoric reinforceing as us

Still the miricle today was the road..opening..

The normal chai potato fry gents

The comedy gold of flash hotel frontage and stucco peeling hallways as boy says hell rent you his room for 1500

" hang on ill clean up"

For th first time in 3 months it raind on me!!

Children smiled..did cart wheels...on new moter way by pass lorry paths..

The air was cool...

my skin was splashed

Was georgus!

Out of the rot of rabid sad evil commercial goa ghetto..

In the reguler ramshakle rot of reguler folk ghetto

In top room ..over looking forrest..orange sun set

Nice

We could choose to not notice the trash in th forrest floor..

Th grubby wall marks..

I realy enjoyed the ride...

I am.probably over communicating too berry and emmit and stephen back home

With my ups n

downs

downs

downs

I wanted to die one time and some smart ass fucktard theropist said

Whats this great need to communicate all the time?

To be heard...whats that about?

(80$ a hour..no lapdance)

He was sacked btw.

Cunt.

None the less..

The echo remains

Needs unmet reverberate

His need of communication

nay connection

In solo journeys

The deafening reply from nzild art community..

The princely privledge of upgraded abandonment scripts

Or inability to accept limit

Pain

Wanting transcendance..

I sent a sweat soaked shirt back home

So i could be smelt

I did qi gong in it for three hours..

(Horus hours)

Yeah naa

Its fuckin cool..unravel borderline

The soft sky tinged blue

orange cloud

Like home

Avoids huge pot holes cows and them dogs chaseing me yapping at heels

Did any of it happen if i dont say anything?

Do we exist if we dont share

Or is it just A I job to self program now

We should just compartmentalise our human role theatre script of conformd obedience..

Ceiling fan is my whirling dervish chakra honey

There was a explosion

This is the news..tuk tuk beeps in animal grey snake path

child catawailing..long toot matrix

chirpung spooky crow

light higher warble clicks n peeps some other avaian

Cows..big horned

Chewing pulped suger cane stems

Slow dimentional

Heart beasts

Man guides on state highway

Slow also..with heart too

There connected

In a look

I am too.

With a heart.

Karela to mumbai mega road going in

Lotsa trees n displacement

Savage..i get the vibe theres been a shit load of displacement in this country s human.

Get that when ya main deighty is a war god of destruction i spoze

Some pricks wee empire buisness army cult

Genes

Breeding

Surplus food

Economic scarcity controll

Education

Realised shatterd the other night

I realy do waste most my life on delusions

Suffering is a fundamental underpinning

There wasnt any escape from the edge of that awareness

And some stoner twat ramming his non duel wanger in my mouth

Sanctimonios wankster

Rhetoric dj verbage outfit in ya idealog empire kitset ashram gown.

Whos aware of the awareness james

Huh buddy huh!

Ive three pair of undies..two are tollerable

I wash dayly th one i was wearing

Incase there was a shart

Cos sometimes the watery bum wash dont fully work eh.

Amen

strange kinda sirender

When ya destroyed

And there dont seem to be much good in who what ya are..or who made ya

But it passes..cos im always noticeing how i dont know shit..but least i know it

What i am is not my makeing

Well ..not entirely

But depends who is talking or listening

Right now

Chalming village tribul chants..drums and 30 degree night weather

Easy hotel n kind vibes

Similtainiously humbled greatfull and embarrissed..

When emotionally distraught in risk fateugue

And interiour pattern destructive psychology victim flashbacks

Identitys skew

Ptsd is a bitch

So is child abuse

Or slavery

Self murder

Aulto hypnotic denial self policed mediocrcre clone bot submissions to techno faciest isolated hells

Bridgeing the gaps

Climbing world trees

Death n resurrection show

Heavens gate

A big ancestral dream time apocalips

Just governance

Spam filters

A trickle of evolutionry archytypes

To not psychoticly break down to much

Feed em beasts

Shine on

Christ

What i ment to say in cryptic mumbling sloppyness

Is dispite my increadably negative filter n malajusted social self type attitude problem

You bastards

Life keeps being tender warm intimate loveing and majical and complexly beuatifull

With you all in it you doomed fools

And it makes me sad as all fuck

In a kinda

Dad on the...

rag way

so YA DEPRESSED ALONE AGAIN

In some self rejection matrix

Least ya not in port chalmers

What a great pilgrimage

A dad hated ya beat ya up told ya yer th devil

And rescue ya mum

Oh my fault guilt anger

And school alienates ya in heirachy n power submissions ...

And we want approval recognition from this stupid charade of a culture?

Success meaning other soul sellout slave external hynogogic repressed vampire master mundanitys

Rewards the wee soul strip

Fashion semantic of designed art repression

Evil cowards suck a turd

Wouldnt know any truth ofself unless vindicated by some peer commitee dont think feel for ya self will you

Fucking colonised big sister soft natzi beurocrat lier bitchs

Yer kindy aint safe

And you shouldnt breed

What gives you th right?

I just want to be wanted baby

Who cares anyway

Were on auto hypnosis now

Shrink wrap the down grade around ya corrupted ovums

Wifi mind controll

Android indeed

Well adjusted would mean crime n addiction self harm and bad poetry

The unravling of trauma over sensitively

Over a panderd lifetime

All so many wounded assholes wimpering fer masters approval

Fuck master

Chew the cunts face off

Srew his whores

Let bio diversity reighn

Monolithic tradedy

A enlightend fractal algorythem

a devotional preyer

Just some beloved universal dogshit

Fertile

Self aware

At war with itself

Undestructable

Till it dies

Ill cook ya eggs

Hold ya head

Do whats gotta be done

Aware soul bubble in away mission

only visiting

Wow

Made of the material illusion

self aware illusion

of it

as it

in it

Shiva the destroyer

eats weird bfast

Waiting fer the ferry to other side

Milky way river styx

Soul vessel

Frequency update

Occult masonic symbols

A choclate bar

Called five star three d

Packed im assumeing with nano fibres

Activated buy 5g network

Fer my national security

Ya cant live a image

And call it a life

Self conscious trap of psychological prison

All my ancesters are watching

Big swords n hairy dudes

Legend

Man made soul live dream time beutifull

Or

What inmates think define ya

In a age of reliable documentary isometric historys cinamotography memory over righting

Who needs heros n myth to survive

A soul even

Drown the boys at birth

Oh they do it to them selfs

Cos a bunch of pussy whippd domesticated chicken shit motherfuckers

did what they were programed to do

Consensus reality is now the death stroke of this civilisation

amnesiac

And...

Poetry lives the word

Like

Bodhisatva being botherd to show up

Culd be a lions club mind you

My hearts weighd most nights

fat as fuck

Farts with symbiotic organisms

Wriggles inta conversation with super ego and id

Of that observer who seems more fluid n effete

Na we never liked you

Constantly offend3d

Youll get over it rambo

The christ consciousness is bein

g summond to crystalise this solar round

Bust out the wet wipes theres gunna be a hoe down

Theres a predictive pattern fer this disorder

Called being cool!

better

Say something.

Got lost and found several moterway cock ups at night with trucks

10 hours horse ride..not far tho..

Buggerd roads

Buggerd rider

But..due to the generosity n friendly expertise of 10 percent of inn keepers

Advices

(Dont trust directions vaugue arm waveing

Terms like left side

Left side

Probably means

go back the way ya came turn right then left after at mutabravakata priya vinda gaolook drive memorial regesterd emporiam for sea snake fertilisation eco mafia charity for the poor road.

Prey the google satalight returns

My hair is thinning rapidly

But im lavished with erotic dreams

I gave food to two beggers today

They both looked very fucked off

At me.

Ya buy something .like a bag of chips

.they ask if you want two

And a combo ..box set

New tecknique at unsolicited loud friendlyness psychic mugging

Stare straight ahead

Freeze em out like they dont exist

Like ya deaf

Dont acknoledge any interaction

Like a contemporary art gallery

Which me n this "voice artist"

Cracker commercials guy

Are gunna frequent tomorra

Na...sometimes there real communication with locals..uber driver

micro biology yoof grad

Tea shop guy

Only one young lady whole trip

Uni student

Off to egypt tomorrow.

Gunna make a seperate blog post fer that.

Left my bike way out of mumbai..on moterway by pass spagghetti hell road dark night truck monster ghetto town

Oaisis

Buffet breakfast

Two toothbrush bonus

SOAP AND TOWEL!

SINGLE COT widdle feet poke out

Walk awsy from plenny hotel managers

Such wankers most some

Overcharged shit holes with no grace or hospitality

Its a economic man bitch controll drama

Fortunatly

Im fairly versed in th whats reasonable..

Now

And there usually many

Id rather stay with a good person in a humble place

Than a arrogant offocious fat ass brahmin scratchin his balls

Stained grubby t shirt ...dont look up from th wwf wrestlimg..

Taps a calculater at me as communication

Anyway..may all souls reverberate with th occilation of the supreme consciousness

Thats what i said to the seedy dark guy

Wanting to sell me real good hash

I repeated myself when he offered me the real good hash again

Mind you

I had just stirred the nescafe in to the sweet milk at the coffee shoppe

I can see why a seamy crime drama spiritual romance noir could be written here

Its got a broken dangerous beuatifull deceit glamour vibe

Like...some thing could come up thru the sewer..(probly does)

But could befriend n save ya too.

Maybe

Yep everywhere on the planet is a nexus of ts own stain n story in the human creation

Were living software waves ...

Unique..varients

Remarkable..

A dark nochalant surreal fantasy fall apart mafia white coller corruption of safe underbellys

Drive by big slum zone on manacured modern road

Boys angrily throw rocks at each other

Half mumbai is slums of rural poor migrant worker

Saw nepalese with beuatifull faces

In kuwait coffee airport shop

wellington ferryshop

She told me to go to nepal..i shall.

Find a squatty hotel homestay make some art

Met rajistan painter..

In flash exhib..bit like andy leilesu's work

Waited a long time

In purgotry of airport self conscious consumer plush..

where comformity n accessoriseing ya statis seems a aisian class fetish..

But theres machine guns in this mall

State parent..safty from th terrorists

Hahaha

Tobaccoo n booze..a preyer room

A starbucks

Gone thru the mill

Feel better for it

Commin back fer round two.

the north.

Dont even get me started on them scary gulf state a-rab formal evil looking serious atired bitch faced bad mood foul mood looking woman and there sunnys n scarfs n gold boxd choccys n bullshit perfume..

fat or muscled hairy groomed model boy wanker looking sons

n burka slave blak

Crispy slave medieval victims..

Fuckin not right

Still

There not jamming cell phones up there pussys online for tips

eh

Yep...best shut up

be

Generous great

full...

This multiple form famly hominid tree

Earth zone..

speak of the infinite star river

Billion neurons or of thousand billion billion thought waves breathing in tides

of ancient blasphemys accepted as mutatuion in the irreaduceable

App size global mind hive..

jewel no neo natzi think tank submission

A

Idea of ya own!!

potentials holographic fractal forms loops of magnitude ..endless dream..

desire skys

singing

Molecules in innocent fundamentally

prime numbers..

Crisper biological leggo occult childplay

Genome kitset

faces from

Beyond mind ..only in hearts

More fundamental glory glory gods!

Supreme everythingness

Pizza

Bacliva

A room with a fractured mirror the entire wall.

I am dust