This is a long journey around india from south to north on a royal enfield motorbike.
To both tourist places and random inbetween up blind alley places.
might call it a mid life crisis pilgrimage
Although the crisis has kinda always been there...
But thats the way the fat lady sings in the supermarket of extinction n renewel..
Go well my son
Words like quim long wonder up start
Wont occur often..
But then again ...i controll your attention.
So anything happens
As it does.INDIA as
Anarcho chaos field of fall apart trashbag primitivism cartoon religeon greed death hungry
Innocent child heart
Is a short sub title for any one wanting to refrence this in there phd thesis.
(i do naked interviews for 500$ )
karelais a socialist state ..meaning the worlds only democraticly voted communist state....also indias predominant christian colony from portogese n english missionrys...consequently..in 2017 LULU mall indias largest indoor complex to capital..is here..apparently this means a progressive attitude...
I cant quite fathom the paradoxs of global capitalism brand fetishism of monoculture..
And democratic communism..
The planets a mystery son !
as are the apes..
But the heart light..
Flow with the traffic rubbish n mysterys.
The little guy is kinda supportd by th local governmnt...a few traditional art things like tabla citar concert.
..also no smokeing in public no drinking...so nice vibe !
The rubbish fires sux ass tho...bad foul satan incence.
THE PEOPLE ARE AWSOME!!! I LOVE IT.
PAPA NOEL burnings in fort kochin. A hybrid indian cathlic zone...hordes of rabid sober young males partying like a suger rush...burning th wiker man.! Sooper fun. Then in alleys they burn there own santa effergys. ...burn th man! (Images snakebeings.org)...
And kathakali trad pantomime with complex sign hand language. Basicly this demon chops up his lady..dont know why...? Some backwater canoe sailing...tourist tour. Saw cottage industry co op industry...and artist run space called B . C. backyard civilisation... backyard civ
Emit getting a toy drum lesson..before the big parade.
White man cometh!
And cometh...(but isnt portugeese misionry..)
We went to this fishing beach and talked with locals on the rocky pier ...why were we tourists here? So far from the bar n cafe....haha
We went off on our scooters down the line..innprep fer a more major away mission to th tea n tiger hills...battling thru th small roads..flowing around potholes..cows..busses bearing down named infant jesus..ect...
Shambly ancient modern nowness n child smile motobike mini vrooms.
Plush homestay in hill town munnar...hyper tour guide man ...fee rides...egg toast bfast...
Top station scooty rides pothole buss overtske on blind corner
Might is right on ya ...logo is..
We the romance kings!
Stop fer coconut near th eucalipt forrest monkey and dam...100 tarpaulin gift shops selling same crap...
Boy deftly whak whak whak off top of coco nut..still all fingers!
Nice drink scoop flesh from inside..
Tonight indiginous amcient martial art dance...on way waterfall n spice farm...
And i got sick...
Its innitiation...over stimulation..
Stayin bed..pain draw into inturnal..
The guy sneezeung perhaps
Selking the deepfryed chilli pepper..
The waterd down lassi ?
Cant be helped.
Yesterday...up to largest mountain...in karela..
Sheer bluffs...home to a rare thar..and 12 year only blue flowering brush...( amidst the roadside maggi n omlette chai stalls from mad max..)
Increadably ameanable kind n pleasent...pple call out to scooty riders..hullo hullo!
The childlike joy n fun in everyone is increadable.
Deep cut gorge...
Dolmins n shonkey rock art by this ancient primitive..
On " built like a gun" royal enfield classic..
We pay trek..
MAD 11 hour
BIKE TRIP ON TAMIL NADU TOWN route
road warrior flows
Mountain road..bus swing out wide
Horn as force field
Drives at night...brave soul
Uses the force
And pothole chicken cow pig
Flow with the critters..
He found coffee..! So can make his own.
Local mountain growen.
Not milk suger weak nescafe...
1200 year hindu complex temple.
Meditation group inside
Pass by old man in backroom..
Pay for blessing..stank of urine..
Sounds like religeon to me
Gentle body awareness
Light in heart
Then...anything else youve ever done..forget.
I the only way
But but...this similer to qi gong i say
You do my way or leave!
I was just enjoying this light in my heart
And comes down t a controll heirachy realy.
Just like qi gong!
Haha..human politics ego n power.
Or male heirachy?
In this one instance i see the whole problem..
I leave confused annoyed . Briefly however i was meditating in 1200 year old living temple..like a ritualistic cave of stains n encoded dirt preyer majic n belief..intent will n humility of astronomical mystical past science integreated sci wisdom.
Family domestic tourism trinket sales fever
And snaks always snaks!
Cop on gate had automatic weopon..but very friendly...
In this city in tamil nadu they celibrate pongu
A ancient fertility harvest fest
Where some sects ...fight handsome goat..like our pal here.
Some cold mountain incubate bacterial infection in warm humid kochi.
..hustle the corner...
Stay in cashmere..some yes.
Like israli bike guy selling crap tank
We...ble graze..discover vhess in ambient corners..poetic solar cafe
Art biennale library...meets..
Contemporary smart...gallery emerging.
The whole place organic installation..
Kali temple..salt pile
Chai tea..poured in air...chippatti dough spun thin..
Input hot dirt in lungs..
...arcane motobike deals..offers
Big numbers like 80 000 rupee
Recycle plastic yard..boat fishing dock
Converted gallery warehouse
Chats with the muslim arvo gents about communism..n art gallerys..
Water storm damage on new pier fort cochin
Uru gallery....climate photo essay between russia sudan n karela india...
The dude on the classic white 1978 bullet..with handmade custom exhaust..pure metal!..thup thup thup..at
40 kph thru donky goat road
Tryin t sell..i been asking round fer a week now...
Cy thonmbly eat ya heart out..graphiti outside hospital.
Like interviewing fer wife..but..more not to die in india realy.
Was out in th boonies..bought m phd film chum in mollywood a chai n fryd thing.
Was instantly engufed by loveing school boys all wanting me to buy them one.
Cept i asked what there dads did..real estate i was told. Sigh..i buy rich kids fryd things.
This guy is a craft emporium sales guy. This guy not too bad...a state employee. Th tuk tuk guys take ya to these places and get payed to do so. 200rps a head.
Once inside..aladdins cave of desireable consumerable carved n woven handicraft.
And dont repeat dont...
Engage the carpet guy...they will hypnotise you with there performance...
There cashmere family hand labouring your silk carpet..like thousands of years ago...
...even if true...the hustle...is pure theatre.
Ove had it four times now...
There trained to perform this....its something.
I tend to feel cornerd like a fly. Break th spell by walking out.
But i offer to tuk tuk friend..who test drives my bike options as a veterin. I kinda like the average small hustler...they more human. Maybe about class?
Dunno...tuk tuk dudes humble...bottom of th pile service
Observe people all day...locals. the pple selling stuff..
Are also the culture..ironicly.
Abdull RA HEEMS SON
has a "love marrage"
And therws 28 familys down there that need my help
Cos i met him 30 secs ago.
Indeed his daughter was glowing.
The old...scrabble in dirt lime children..gibbering
Pple my age bath in trash maranaded stagnant water..
While proudly declareing cleanliness..
I did notice a public toilet with officious language on it declareing no open defication in the street
But the guys seem to squat..in there checkerd mini skirt
N do something with there private parts..
Yoof tear off to the river..kavery
Thats very low..
And gather sacks of sand...for the loophole economy fer middle eastern development...cement.
As theres is salty of course.
The chaps get 50 roops a sack. About a doller .
En masse i suppose a oil fed condo complex could be built..
Meanwhile...earnest christian indians tell me about vedic tradition and jesus corrolations at the shanti vannam ashram.
Where eucharist freeks me out with th auto hypnotic group think
But seems appropriate in a medieval mind world
Strung out between forces
Of global capital n science occult materialism.
The who am i of vedic historys
The why do we suffer of bhuddist theologys
The ecological..biochemicle hazard of burning rubbish..n
The man with the cheezels!!
And theme park idolitry!
And modern cop comedy scary movie haunted house psycho mumma KALI right wing hindu mytho politic propaganda
Christian mystic oasis..where americans and nz artists come (suggested donation)
But my cell is safe...
There was this fluke of stumbling apon a organic farm in small town..down from military tiger tourism hill..where you can eat lunch..pay for a 2 k walk or go back..national park.
In fact the man said this was SHIVAS TREE it exuded more oxygen than any other. He was trying to grow lots.
We lamented the mono culture coconut plantations around here...for trendy coconut cooking oil.
The super moon bloodmoon blue moon just happend..
The lunch preyer bell just sounded.
Stop drawing james.
Damn spiritual tourism bollix...
Thin veneer of the ghost of past colonial culture wars....infiltrateing the personal ritual of how ya know ya self..
And ya walk a circle
Sideshow of currancy ..bluffs n beggs community..
Up th hill..sweat like a pig..isolated disasociated..
Tides of traffic..magnetic electro mojo..
Greedy fearfull lust arrogance..
Who is this
De population protocols
N toxic fluride flush my cellulite
Broken home n mental health addiction social decay loops abundant ...
Ritual on auto repeat..
Time cutureates feedback loops
All in the bits
Slights of mind
crime alchohol unemployment
Bio rythmic feedback of..
Whole sustainable puke econometric
Livin in ya open sewer
Mother heart atom
In the dirt
Holy n normal
There is only traffic
Eternal incessant prehistoric tooting
Heat carbon monoxide
Lung chest nose sinus problem
Rubbish burn offs
Angled dickwads comeing straight at ya
Pple walkin infront of ya
Pple smileing pushing infront
Four pple on a scooter...behind a overloaded lorry of steel bars scantily tied on
Traffic like extinction flow of glacier melt
Of my termite mound economic nessesity to leave bigger carbon footprint
Traffic...to be my own master of destiny
Ridiculous fossel based suicide rigged willing ignorant
As dayly preyer of forgivness acceptance and unmanageability
Whwre is any of us going?
Culture subsumed by anamalistic guteral unconscios plennem of riseing noise...primal machine
Cyborg lang...a forrest..a ecology
Tortored nazi slavery economic totalitarian capital trance..
A gods demonic curse to a species..
Addict getting th kids hooked..
A get to know you thing..
Till...we...achieve a bio mesh of telepathic flow
My synchronous rightbrain mumma feels
Yer nature data..
Preyer in perpetual change growth
The breath we share
With grit n death fumes ..
Space time co ordinates of the continual movements...the information cresendos
Petrol wet dream of peaking
Joined in grey snake third werld rides
Fat tittyed small dogs languidly smile padding across moterway
Allco existing on road
Old man tight leathery skin ...checked tamil skirt thing..waveing stick...
Woman pushing cart full of a pathetic clutch of unappealing snacks.
The profound commercial reality of buy sell
Anything all th time
The currancy in substrata of undeginable layers of value..to different in different states
The cloneing degradation of a high civ..
Gone semi ferral..in times cascade of forgetting...
Some intellect on auto pilot..
Rural industry propper
And abandonment at some fundamental spiritual ecological disease level
Walls around ya factory
Shit smell smoke rubbish damage
Rape violence decay
Ripped building apart...still living in torn half not fallen over to make way fer road..
Still...havnt seen violence as such.
A nieve well obedient unruly class of children ..doing as god made them to do..
Create wealth fer there betters..
Shuffle about..drink tea
Ride a scooter or honda hero
A enfield across india with backpack strapped t back like art cad dandy..on safari..
Still..im sure the neo con mefia mind fuck of nzilds gentrifying slave natzi mind is doin fine in its boomer prestigue of lifestyle denial codes democratic
Feudal totalitarian capital global heist locust prison farm..
Were a ancient majical animal
Who thru agriculture class has alienated ourselfs and all ecologys habitats
To certain death ...
Life boats..and dependant addicts..global juggernaught of splintering social viable meaning purpose and werth
A sublime stuttering depressive tradgedy of brillient terror mundanity
Under phenominalogical waves
Points arbitory refrences of transitory everchangeing..un fixed non certain
Expanded ..from top down
From in out
Being bullyed by sadist giant..
Ruthlessly abuseing everything.
Infested dust sinus
...great raod knight thy burn
Him dream androdiginous shiva dad
Table top chipaTti dance...
The ancient alien
Tech o spawn n refrag...
Smoke drift in preyer symbol
67 k day..
Welldressed old wimmin begger denys ya tea n buiscuit offer
But hounds n grabs n effectivly psycho muggs me
I react butch...aint having this!
Just fed some chickens crumbs ffs
..she wanted eat gesture
I offer tea n buiscuit
Thinken her fat pal there n flash sari a bit of a mid class giveaway...
What ya want? Me to buy ya a house?
Never be yours anyway..always the states
Someother demon conglimerate..
Mm...short of punching th old locust
Grabbin at me feverishly not hearing no
I wasnt gunna be mugged
I drove off.
I choose when t give
..i do aswell
But not on command..by a pushy bastard.
Hard not to get negative n take that with ya..
This countrys like a psychic mirror
Its echos in ya own karmic loop cycle
Im...a harsh judgemental prick..with short tollerance n lack o trust.
Still...big picture may be a bigger highway..and heart
I know who you are
I know you better than i know my self
YOU ARE A PART OF me
The kids been to doctor wearing a shirt that speaks to me...i pat him..th wimmin nearby ignore me..if id been a lady id have fussed on there kids too..but its a bit segregated...im suspect ...anyhow..the hotel residency was atrocious horn noise all fkn night.
Now theres angle grinder n hindi pop blareing from a builders busted stereo
To backgrounds of well dressed little madams from matriculation school...chanting national anthems..
Dum art noise kiwi drug kids
You dont know shit...
Thats a garage fertility shrine wall fer ya millit crop..
Its jimmy cooper same same in andra pradesh!!
Its auspicious to show a white guy in black..ya baby while he eats ya kai..
Yeah...roadside primitiveism with corperate development
Stone age style labour
Barbor me chit chat oilchange no language
TEA N OPEN SEWER MARANADE
No ones holding this nation back!
Regardless of how im enjoying "it"
Its a privledge
And education to travel.
And detatch engage question
Ones own culturated inputs
While judgeing anothers... ahem
The process of being ok
In ya self
Life on her own terms
Serene comedy tradgedy heroic good hearted folks
Ignorant stupid ..greedy...discusting
Intimate the loss of everything as one
Decays cancer sterilisation
Algorythems extend collapse time vectors
Power...backlogs..fakes ..watchs garden mutate...inputs tech.
None of my concern
Can we be said to enlarge our capacitys as we age?
To...extend beyond the confines of our birth
The edge extending...?
Knowing less n less more horizons bleed into smog n sun baked desert rock with fluttering advert wrapped around tree..
Privledge of passage lived life
Emo circuit restimulations
Give in...you probly dont exist anyhow
Ya primal innocence
Make it in simple terms
A godfell to earth
Robotic subservience groupthink
Artists will inspire
Thinking fer yaself like the other bright ones do
Real isnt so real we find
Somestuff we cant see
Light vehicles built of belief consciousness will n energy
Higher dimentionally charged
I am storm..
The words biggest tree
Enter thru thru th hold up point..carpark entry fee..
Welcome relief....small town shsnty village india back road...
Wild west scapes rock butressed boulder peaks..
Shaded lanes n dry wells...
But woman calls to me to fill my bottle..so kind..
I play with th kid by pulling white man faces..
Strange shrines with outsider art..
And outsider priests merrily inside the art!
Its funny..ya come across the planet
And get the most outta the simple suff
Leaves falling in breeze
Smile from stranger
Cups of tea with old dudes
Swim in river
Sit on warm rock lookin at sunset
While listening to village farm people unwind in valleys
Stars come out..
In a crouded city tonight
I saw a woman boiling a big round pot by fire on footpath
We want that connection
With what we are..
The supermarket guy got his pantys in a right bunch wen th price on th organic tulsi tea bags all individually packaged
It was probly th most new age wankster thing i consumed here..
Buiscuit chip n comfort crap has been my addictive poison addmittedly..
But..th flash supermarket couldnt compute th herb tea...strange
I went n ate th rice n chutney on banana leaf...as ya do.
The moterbike feels like a horse..well a modern one..
I didnt burst inta flame today..hooray.
Petrol was overflowing however.
Ive had a real short fuse with indians
Its a cognitive dissonance
Th rules keep changeing
Im constantly stared at
Still its me that sits in my wee meltdowns
Its good to say no often
And assert boundrys wen a bit on shakey ground.
I wanna be friends with this
Bit like my own culture too
Which i feel malajusted and highly skeptical of its goodness..
Doesnt leave ya many places to belong
Alienated like that
Call it family shall we?
Then again..the diseffected are probably more the norm than not
Were all refugees and the enemy of the system weve created obeyed and submitted too..for generation apon generation..
Stick my feet on the planet
Take my sick
Beamed in from another star
The meat suit
Wave form flux pulse
Dont think much of religeon
Its childish mockery of my attention..
Like toys in ideological cartoon mythosphere...
A psycho pop archtype fetish ...of ancient politics n social order...
With a kernal of mystical inner coded magical histry..
Are we forever bounded by the limits of culture class language environment?
Or can there be empathic union in common expwriential data fields?
Oh i dunno
The suns magnetics
Reckin eco sci tech n fem intuitive heart mind uplinks
In ya dreamtime baby
Enterthre blockade of gang wimmin..
Whirlwind trash paperplate sacred place
The commodifyed temple
Tree larg3st (guiness book record 1989 baby)
Wheres the centre?
Begging priest motions to concrete slab painted gayly..
But...about same age as some philosophical passing sage of rishi valley ...600 year ago
The field of energy in seed...we can enhance inform
Open sewer gag
Piece of watermelon next to that sir?
its quite excellent to hoon thru someone elses country in multiple fractured congealing states of cultural logics
On 1920s designed bike
Maxing comfort speeds of 80kph 90 tops
Radicilly down gearing fer massive rupture in tarmac...
Or happy suicide dog titty jiggle patterer across road..(dunno why i notice all the grinning bitchs 6 tits)
Spoze in nz we get a lab to breed em secret like
Or rubbish happy sewer pig
Yum yum yum bacon boy
So had a big tourist ghetto rest at hampi..
Woulda been georgus...almost was
Cept fer th dark taint of greed n th constant veneer of take..more more more
But nature is a ambivilent whore like that..
Still shines on..
Swum in a lake
Dudes be trying to sell ya drugs left right centre..weird seeds..
I meditate with th trash on glowing rock heat sunset ...
gramps paddles by in round boat thing...fat moon shines...euro teens take a rest from the israli army or
Sweedish child gameshow casting directer careers..
Eat german bakery food items made by itinerant nepalese chefs...
Some kids fuking with my bike at night..so i gotta leave..before i beat him.
What my good name does
Is pick up jaunty 9 year old boys in uniform who flag me down fer a free bus service..hitchhike after school..
Had a pair last...
I was that kid at 15.
Blues were beaten with some surly introspection n conversation with strangers..
Before th hustle got to me..
The brazillians under the tree
The pom (jeesus type) been in nz fer a year...the turk hottie baiter wanting attention...
Yoga n stuff in india is a white euro mid class thing..
The rest is shrine wershiping disny land fer medieval morons ...im sorry
Just think ya trapped in a bad cartoon guys
But arnt we all!
The sky is that brown beutifull kinda haze it is before sunset..
Karnakata seems on to it..tidy..organised..
Oh...if i had to condemn the indian on one count alone...in firey tabernacle hell
Twood be the overtakeing on blind corners
Truck on bus action..
Me head on.
I slow down pull over on th dirt verge.. and toot like fuk at the fuktards..
Cunts..id love to meet one of these bozos..
Still...the face is a friend..
odd how benevolent my evil looks.
Goin to some appalingly named beach called OM BEACH i gokarna where im sure sven n halga will buff the dreads n
Order a panini...
Not many palm tree beach shack type places in the himalayers...so tuck into it
Ive a b grade travel movie to enact!
I say b
Cos it gives me more artistic licence ...
Who knows i may solve my existential crisis
Make a friend
And all in one alergy sprey to my cloned conservative alienating hive of home.
Hope ya broadband fails ya braindead automotrons
Lotsa love agent fat twat vroom vroom
How are you?
May moon blessings illuminate your heart mind
Disolveing sinicle stain..mental refreactions of hate fear judgement
The process and awareness in humility of the absolute vaulnerability of this
And the miricle of being
All is gift
Even the shadow
(Save post before wix malfunctions...fukn wix )
Amazeing ride thru warm well kept forrest villages
Stopped chugged down a litre of cold water..
Got to edge of ghats (steps)
Saw coast of sparkling esturys rivers coast
Yep got a cheap shack on beach
Long qi gong on rocks..warm ocean primal pull my eternal wassit
A few sepretist israli kids in gangs
A few cows n itinerant weirdos..
Swum round the rocks..
Saw moon come up dirty red
Danced briefly to tack-no cafe beats..
Yep blessed ..
soldiers from the past
the gift of guilt
Time has come
Discard victim self condemnation
hatred passed on
Then your that guy who treks off to the other bay..no shoes
And takes wrong path..(shoulda known no trash)
Goes down cliff rocks..sun baked burn feet ...hanging off fuckin sheet faces of sharp rok trying to find a path..
compleatly soaked with sweat...
10 min walk a 2 hour ordeal..
Sweat siaked flabby cunt inside out t shirt..
in pain...hahaha..with no one but you to talk to coz theres something fundamentally wrong with ya..
Cant let paradise infect ya..no siree!
spoze culda been lord vishnus way of detoxing me thru sweating ?..and moaning
civilisations rise n fall
If i was to enter these tasty relics of lucious young feminine lower chakra adornment..
A nz drawing award
I may call them
Floride and the depopulation eugenics sterilisation agenda
Something about genes eh.
Days slip buy..im relaxing
Meeting innitiates from ritual spiritual psychedelic inner work retreats
Gunna get a frogs neurotoxin in me burnt arm shoulders aswell..puke m ring out.
Some immune re jig amazon cureall
Meanwhile in my wee cell tender beads of sweat cascade his manfur belly
He stands in meditation...energy up add down
doesnt pass out..
The waves come in and out..
He becomes turtle periodicly
Thinks of sacred pyrimid visits
Is a hopeless sucker
Beuaty n dream like trance
A cafe beach bejeweld lifestyle
Puke ya ring out ya cunt
not like a body dismorphic fat guy
Fasting with self condemnation
But as baby in transition..
in some soul recycling auto destructive ecological ontological object
Oriented forenzic of mass extinctions wetdream
With love sweat leaking
Breathed gust ceiling fan promise
Higher electrical ceiling
Plasma n space weather
it looks like im doin all this stuff but realy im sitting in my room drawing..drinkin chicory coffee mix.
Seem to need alot of withdrawing time.
A frog in the toilet
A lizard on hot sand
A bird in the glass window tapping at own reflection
A catapiller up a rope
A indian woman spying on my drawing
Later she fed me
My body mind self construct is here by reduced...nay...evolved to congealed bone flesh...inhabiting ocean
Plummets ability to recognise self
Heavey steps in atmospheres
To lie on shaded sand
Attempt restorative fateugue stretching
And some inward uplift
Listen to the pictures
This is what rich pple do james when they go to goa dude
Eat the seafood.
Saw some curious critters scurry out of there wee sand holes
Funny how when ya do and are nothing
but momentary occilations of culture patterns in a meat suit
Ya notice the wee things
Th funny crabs
The happy dog panting
The possably impared skinny boy waiter..
Makeing a effort to spend with what seems to be local familys
(However thrifty and remote a goa this may be he steels himself fer th urban euro north bit.)
which now im here is a living hell of tunnels of t shirt sales stalls n bars n every clogged commercial plantation o cene economic prostituted bit of beach..
but equally devalueing ridiculeing any semblance of real..authentic..its a mockery of humanity...them selfs
I get hastled one too many times by scooter rental touts..t shirt stall zombies..
And im tired fateuged disheartend HOT AS MUGGY MUFFAFUGGER
and start my FUCK OFF routine
Which turns to street theatre with animlistic growls angily issued from my gut..they come right up into ya physical space..to get ya attention..
invadeing ya mind
I growl like a angry dog
Pick up rocks..
There dozens of these bored guys lounging round looking like they need a burglary war or family to support
But there shocked by my aggression..
which is bad vibes
But only as much as the land..the beach..has been raped by this shit tourist coulture..
Why would this be attractive to any obe is beyond me
Its a eco cide of economic social tradgedy..
Looks like a distopian alchohol n money coke binge..with th trash just off centre.
Theres weird russian white pple in matching beach attire..
Im in a chuck book
Or a comedy by waititi..
But then my finest hour..the big bro down with the biggest t shirt seller of all!
In leg splint thank god.
Im walkin the gauntlet..thru th bowels of trinket alley zombie arcade..
One more group of leering obsequious pushy bastards confront me..
Why do they think i give a fuck about there generic bunch of shit made in china?
I dont understand where there imaginations..self respect...has gone.
This isnt poverty
Its conformist greed and ignorance..
Destructive decay..sad self abasement
Which im forced to be part of.
Me n big guy get mutually lippy..
He gets aggressive back at me
Were dogs barking
He motions for a fight..
I mock run up to him fast ..and startle him..he cowers...
And is more angry..as hes been shamed infront if his mates
Limping he thumps his chest..and calls m sister fucker n alk that..i laught at his fucked leg..and think this is ridiculous..hes fucking big btw.
Ghetto beach big guy
So i gesture more cocky platitudes ...
And face him..
But what james? You gonna have a brawl witth a wounded indian in gauntlet getto t shirt alley with all his mates looking?
Dude this is dumb..
Walk briskly away..
Which i do
And am lucky he doesnt follow too ardintly..
Besides my lower back has a new strained musvil..and i dont realy want a beating n then cops..or hurt this guy...
But fuck em..
Its intimadating and redundant sales strategy..
I admit im a cock
A somewhat foolish brave theatrical cock in a bad mood..but non the less..
To my room at th back of paradise guest house near th servants bush bit..which she sweeps ardently like a meditation.
Watching this village like cluster at th back of hotel average...is about as close to village life im gunna get.
It rains a bit
I do qi gong fer three hours sweat like a bitch
Make presents for pple at home.
Talk too much needily at digital entitys
About depression and self recrimination.
Why i do these damn lonly journeys
And analise my pathological complex ..
Of fitting anywhere
Being of value
Fragmented feedback loops of unwanted children
On hero quests to be worthy
If only a rich person buys my fucking t shirt
Still...well have the discussion wont we
A reservation for us all...
Hospitality buisness management
A I ghoul
So remember son
Your privledged...your enacting some myth
Undergoing a ordeal..a self innitiation..
Its not about comfort
Its about learning..edges..your own blatant bullshit
What to let go off cos its too heavy.
Observe th character
its misery its poverty its privledge
The sence of futility
Allways going there..never arriveing
Joy is a icecream brand
What is the nature of consciousness
What does "god want" of me
The cliche of the primal re creation i evoke
In process journey..
To have said..
To be humbled by my inadequesy
Appaled by debassed culture under capital
Wonder at resillience
How can i justify this...life style junket?
I intended art to mean something
So i had better live it
So i am
On ya bike then son...and away it all goes...the existential risk of trauma trigger..
In sleep deprication adandonment loner flashbacks
Needy holding one hostage..
Just for today
Tell your self the self help group posted the wrong information..and if your in trouble then youll get ignored...youve always mad3 us feel inadequit for not being as rhetoric reinforceing as us
Still the miricle today was the road..opening..
The normal chai potato fry gents
The comedy gold of flash hotel frontage and stucco peeling hallways as boy says hell rent you his room for 1500
" hang on ill clean up"
For th first time in 3 months it raind on me!!
Children smiled..did cart wheels...on new moter way by pass lorry paths..
The air was cool...
my skin was splashed
Out of the rot of rabid sad evil commercial goa ghetto..
In the reguler ramshakle rot of reguler folk ghetto
In top room ..over looking forrest..orange sun set
We could choose to not notice the trash in th forrest floor..
Th grubby wall marks..
I realy enjoyed the ride...
I am.probably over communicating too berry and emmit and stephen back home
With my ups n
I wanted to die one time and some smart ass fucktard theropist said
Whats this great need to communicate all the time?
To be heard...whats that about?
(80$ a hour..no lapdance)
He was sacked btw.
None the less..
The echo remains
Needs unmet reverberate
His need of communication
In solo journeys
The deafening reply from nzild art community..
The princely privledge of upgraded abandonment scripts
Or inability to accept limit
I sent a sweat soaked shirt back home
So i could be smelt
I did qi gong in it for three hours..
Its fuckin cool..unravel borderline
The soft sky tinged blue
Avoids huge pot holes cows and them dogs chaseing me yapping at heels
Did any of it happen if i dont say anything?
Do we exist if we dont share
Or is it just A I job to self program now
We should just compartmentalise our human role theatre script of conformd obedience..
Ceiling fan is my whirling dervish chakra honey
There was a explosion
This is the news..tuk tuk beeps in animal grey snake path
child catawailing..long toot matrix
chirpung spooky crow
light higher warble clicks n peeps some other avaian
Chewing pulped suger cane stems
Man guides on state highway
Slow also..with heart too
In a look
I am too.
With a heart.
Karela to mumbai mega road going in
Lotsa trees n displacement
Savage..i get the vibe theres been a shit load of displacement in this country s human.
Get that when ya main deighty is a war god of destruction i spoze
Some pricks wee empire buisness army cult
Economic scarcity controll
Realised shatterd the other night
I realy do waste most my life on delusions
Suffering is a fundamental underpinning
There wasnt any escape from the edge of that awareness
And some stoner twat ramming his non duel wanger in my mouth
Rhetoric dj verbage outfit in ya idealog empire kitset ashram gown.
Whos aware of the awareness james
Huh buddy huh!
Ive three pair of undies..two are tollerable
I wash dayly th one i was wearing
Incase there was a shart
Cos sometimes the watery bum wash dont fully work eh.
strange kinda sirender
When ya destroyed
And there dont seem to be much good in who what ya are..or who made ya
But it passes..cos im always noticeing how i dont know shit..but least i know it
What i am is not my makeing
Well ..not entirely
But depends who is talking or listening
Chalming village tribul chants..drums and 30 degree night weather
Easy hotel n kind vibes
Similtainiously humbled greatfull and embarrissed..
When emotionally distraught in risk fateugue
And interiour pattern destructive psychology victim flashbacks
Ptsd is a bitch
So is child abuse
Aulto hypnotic denial self policed mediocrcre clone bot submissions to techno faciest isolated hells
Bridgeing the gaps
Climbing world trees
Death n resurrection show
A big ancestral dream time apocalips
A trickle of evolutionry archytypes
To not psychoticly break down to much
Feed em beasts
What i ment to say in cryptic mumbling sloppyness
Is dispite my increadably negative filter n malajusted social self type attitude problem
Life keeps being tender warm intimate loveing and majical and complexly beuatifull
With you all in it you doomed fools
And it makes me sad as all fuck
In a kinda
Dad on the...
so YA DEPRESSED ALONE AGAIN
In some self rejection matrix
Least ya not in port chalmers
What a great pilgrimage
A dad hated ya beat ya up told ya yer th devil
And rescue ya mum
Oh my fault guilt anger
And school alienates ya in heirachy n power submissions ...
And we want approval recognition from this stupid charade of a culture?
Success meaning other soul sellout slave external hynogogic repressed vampire master mundanitys
Rewards the wee soul strip
Fashion semantic of designed art repression
Evil cowards suck a turd
Wouldnt know any truth ofself unless vindicated by some peer commitee dont think feel for ya self will you
Fucking colonised big sister soft natzi beurocrat lier bitchs
Yer kindy aint safe
And you shouldnt breed
What gives you th right?
I just want to be wanted baby
Who cares anyway
Were on auto hypnosis now
Shrink wrap the down grade around ya corrupted ovums
Wifi mind controll
Well adjusted would mean crime n addiction self harm and bad poetry
The unravling of trauma over sensitively
Over a panderd lifetime
All so many wounded assholes wimpering fer masters approval
Chew the cunts face off
Srew his whores
Let bio diversity reighn
A enlightend fractal algorythem
a devotional preyer
Just some beloved universal dogshit
At war with itself
Till it dies
Ill cook ya eggs
Hold ya head
Do whats gotta be done
Aware soul bubble in away mission
Made of the material illusion
self aware illusion
Shiva the destroyer
eats weird bfast
Waiting fer the ferry to other side
Milky way river styx
Occult masonic symbols
A choclate bar
Called five star three d
Packed im assumeing with nano fibres
Activated buy 5g network
Fer my national security
Ya cant live a image
And call it a life
Self conscious trap of psychological prison
All my ancesters are watching
Big swords n hairy dudes
Man made soul live dream time beutifull
What inmates think define ya
In a age of reliable documentary isometric historys cinamotography memory over righting
Who needs heros n myth to survive
A soul even
Drown the boys at birth
Oh they do it to them selfs
Cos a bunch of pussy whippd domesticated chicken shit motherfuckers
did what they were programed to do
Consensus reality is now the death stroke of this civilisation
Poetry lives the word
Bodhisatva being botherd to show up
Culd be a lions club mind you
My hearts weighd most nights
fat as fuck
Farts with symbiotic organisms
Wriggles inta conversation with super ego and id
Of that observer who seems more fluid n effete
Na we never liked you
Youll get over it rambo
The christ consciousness is bein
g summond to crystalise this solar round
Bust out the wet wipes theres gunna be a hoe down
Theres a predictive pattern fer this disorder
Called being cool!
Got lost and found several moterway cock ups at night with trucks
10 hours horse ride..not far tho..
But..due to the generosity n friendly expertise of 10 percent of inn keepers
(Dont trust directions vaugue arm waveing
Terms like left side
go back the way ya came turn right then left after at mutabravakata priya vinda gaolook drive memorial regesterd emporiam for sea snake fertilisation eco mafia charity for the poor road.
Prey the google satalight returns
My hair is thinning rapidly
But im lavished with erotic dreams
I gave food to two beggers today
They both looked very fucked off
Ya buy something .like a bag of chips
.they ask if you want two
And a combo ..box set
New tecknique at unsolicited loud friendlyness psychic mugging
Stare straight ahead
Freeze em out like they dont exist
Like ya deaf
Dont acknoledge any interaction
Like a contemporary art gallery
Which me n this "voice artist"
Cracker commercials guy
Are gunna frequent tomorra
Na...sometimes there real communication with locals..uber driver
micro biology yoof grad
Tea shop guy
Only one young lady whole trip
Off to egypt tomorrow.
Gunna make a seperate blog post fer that.
Left my bike way out of mumbai..on moterway by pass spagghetti hell road dark night truck monster ghetto town
Two toothbrush bonus
SOAP AND TOWEL!
SINGLE COT widdle feet poke out
Walk awsy from plenny hotel managers
Such wankers most some
Overcharged shit holes with no grace or hospitality
Its a economic man bitch controll drama
Im fairly versed in th whats reasonable..
And there usually many
Id rather stay with a good person in a humble place
Than a arrogant offocious fat ass brahmin scratchin his balls
Stained grubby t shirt ...dont look up from th wwf wrestlimg..
Taps a calculater at me as communication
Anyway..may all souls reverberate with th occilation of the supreme consciousness
Thats what i said to the seedy dark guy
Wanting to sell me real good hash
I repeated myself when he offered me the real good hash again
I had just stirred the nescafe in to the sweet milk at the coffee shoppe
I can see why a seamy crime drama spiritual romance noir could be written here
Its got a broken dangerous beuatifull deceit glamour vibe
Like...some thing could come up thru the sewer..(probly does)
But could befriend n save ya too.
Yep everywhere on the planet is a nexus of ts own stain n story in the human creation
Were living software waves ...