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Residency BLOG

August 2, 2018

in this residency

Like any post modern asshat academic student

We wank about being self centred twats agoniseing on our childish obsessions.

Property

Girlfriends

Profit

Our egoic statis in th hive

 

Georgus blogposts in disposable hybrid de evolutionry gymnastic decaying social moral relavancy

Ignoreing

feats of countercult surveilance state irony liguistic terrorisms by consent

 

Its fantastic...

Beutifull massive harbour tidal swells..

More water flowing in to bay of fundy than all rivers in werld combined..while its happening ...they say.

 

Nonesuch kickshaws main and station

Parrsborro nova scotia.

Lotsa huge ol buildings

Rambling beat bookshop

Strewn with art sculture painting print

Big gallery upstairs

Foodie host

Cabins on cliffs

Friendly (older demographic)

Locals.

 

I thrown up a wee studio installation of drawing minitures i done on way.

Had a open studio (nonone visited)

 

This place reminds me of

Invercargill ..whanganui...port chalmers

All in one.

 

Ive a church bell tower studio too

And a actural church inside to show in

 

(Who ever will see it god knows)

 

Im processing such alot of feelings thinking

Awarenesses ignorances

Styles

Possabilitys

Known 

Unknowable

 

Despair futility

Hope

 

Am i for example light in being ..transindental visiter in flesh suit

or dark?..frustrayed nihilism critic judgement n assumption

Who are we

Trapped.

Or bravely self aware co creaying with life

 

My pre occupations return most often to feeling inculcated in a chemicle prison of psychic conformity 

State

Economy

School....orwellian ...

But even this is a kinda privledged luxury

 

Wonder abounds in th non assumptive

Th infinite unknowable th subtle n eternal

Th logos is present in every turn of th spiral of time

Even distopian controll empires!

 

But in this

Its only ever about me

Th risk of free thought experiential elf identification

Or indeed...trying to shed that..mask of false self

Is

Like the earnest monk

So contrived in being a monk...spiritual pride..of th ancient drop out caste of seekers after truth

Renounces n becomes one again with 5h human drama

Fucks fights screws gets drunk

Maybe with twinkle in eye.

 

No ones saying im there..

I wanna be good!

Get possessed by "bad"

The arts a shadow may of th divine drama

Of some relic of art self awareness 

Before..google n yer psych meds did it fer you.!

Yep...de huminify th human n what you got?

 

A chip ready bio chemicle ai accessory.

Borg!

Still..here i am.

Palm council wanking on th interface all about it!

 

Reading some books on past intellectals in recrnt history th dim times before innernet you understsnd.

They discussed things..interms of other masters

Francis of assisi..

Neitzure

Etc

 

The dark light wobble of what to make

How to make

The past technique retinue of assumed possables.

Th need of a cohearant psychic body being manifest

And if i do..will it only condemn me like they tend too

When shared as work in th gallerys.

 

I still think a earnest effort like lived philosophy..and weather

And the way we experience our "self" is nessesary

Its holy ground

Not socialised conformist subroutines of controll n being controlled..

But

Ineffiable attempts of freedom

Re search

Re creation

 

Th loons are th ligitimate froth of automated social body..we were spozed to be liberated !

Not castrated in debt pyrimid scheme!

 

To know soul

Even to keep that...layerd transpersonal concept of self alive

Th map....

Th econo sci religeon of faciest mind correct...

Dont want ya to have beating heart..do that in ya own time

As homeless

As addict

As medicated housewife.

 

Na..arts political

Spiritual

Emotional

Mental

Historic

Pre cognitive

Reality creation on micro n macro level

 

What artists do reachs inta th soft dream of collectivity dormant slumber n ...summons spirit to manifest

Re member 

Alter past future memory to activate potentials in th chaos field

All potentials

 

Work...then

Valuable beyond measure.

 

As is 

A child born

A death earnd.

 

As is breath

 

Its all total illusion...and dust t dust.

Language time and integrity.

 

Just werkin out what t make n how.

 

I believe in it

Th reality is also as futile n destructive 

Dangerous n empty..

 

Th rageing beast of unconscious cognitive dissonance is there

Th conflict in heacen

In ne

Th gene disorder of our species

Who ate me

 

Who made me

What am i

 

Can we realy make ourselfs or but re act.

 

"You think too much" is leveld at me

But i probly dont think enough

Or sharp enough.

 

But..think feel

Need a sphere of expanding contracting reference

On a most unlevel playing field.

 

Begin again daddy

 

 

 

 

I made that. 

 

 

 

 

Does Satan wear jandals I wonder?

.
Show quoted text


Absatotally.!

He invented em
Discarded copious amounts like confetti in india recent decades gone
And has set up considderable strongholds of jandal production in china
As well as
The material mamalian mytho spheric dna fuse weld chromosome
Jupiter moon.

Yep
Make no mistake
Satan is
Jandle wearing
Himalayan mountain pass
Sperm warrior
Pyrimid scheeme trash cyclone
Tourism preditor

Extreemophile!

Gape cam

Armiment adaptive

Neurological optic transferrance
Peptide ass cream.

Cann i get a good


God damn!

 

Mediochre product producer
Or and
Public skitzaphrenic

Fool heyoka

Hmmmm
Stop
MAKEING SENCE

Nothins as it should be
Or as it seems

Accept it as it was
Controll the potential non duel narritive assumption delusion

Hypothetical desire cloud
Biochemicle meat puppet
Conscious radio antenna
Codmic god mind
Abortion clinic
Part time lapdancer.
Woof 

 

 

Hey! Hi! 

(A chum dispences artistic block -sage advice i asked her for..said advice as follows. However..it will only werk for me

No one else)

Welcome to the world of Le Cafe Art Bottom where many a creative sifts about scratching chin....it’s a crowded scene amongst the procrastinatory!

....and a place you never earned your stripes......what with being a complete workaholic and go getter from the outset, a rare breed to be sure……

Sage advice follows:

Sneak out of an evening trimming horse tails......

Fashion self an eeeeeeeeenormous horse paintbrush......

Leave said brush in mysterious locales round town over subsequent six weeks.....

On forth to last day wander through town in a teal satin ball dress paying willing passers by $5 each to wander behind you pied piper styles for eight hours.....

Mind control yer minions to stretch the canvas between two trees in the town square.....

Be seen in town napping on couches in furniture stores.....lobbies etc.....

Wander into supermarket with bowl and spoon eat muesli n yoghurt n browse the aisles......

Last day, pack everything, make sure hair is MASSIVE.....wander naked into paint shop, buy large tin of paint in exact shade as ballgown....

Run charging past previously stretched canvas screaming RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH like a Berserker entering battle, swing horsehair brush above head like a whip and at speed.....

Leave one M.Gimblet styles mark....

Without pause grab pack a run to edge of town....

Hitch hike into the distance leaving naught but a handscrawled note saying.....’I Was ‘Ere $13,750’

Fly to New York.

It’s the only sensible path.
 

Bing..

--------------$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$--------------------

ill keep 

"Yer a real go getter "

 as a keeper comment.
Sigh....
That crouded cafe..
Of lonly echos
Of needy attention ..n shatterd dreams n
Looming shadows
Th cafe of bitter remorse coffee
n fettid cake of disapointment
Bagal of self recrimination

Arrrr were thy cafe a nat geo wall collage strewn psychedelic wholefood stoner gathering with teepee
N
Lefty intellectuals
Feverishly lecturing on moral undertones of strip malls n school system curriculum


N ardent evangalical spiritualists ..
Prosthletiseing a retro wholism.around arc angel micheals glittering ministry on th astral plane

I lie naked in th mud
Swim against th tide!
My undies ashore

Sea mist..
And thunder in distance ..

True story!!!
Yep
Swum in tide cummin in..nekid away from folks
Was strong!! Be carefull. 

 

Then some peanut butter mudslide icecream in a cone

 

I call this work.

This is a rather hideous rendering of a local indiginous pples (the micmak)

Creater giant divine guy hero (like maui)

From 1972! In fiberglass

And very suspect cobbler fashion.

 

Unsure if he is a insult or honour to the old people. 

None th less 18 feet high

Red as a raped ass

And bit like freddy cooger.

 

He might be doing qi gong!

I should do mine.

 

Its funny how the things that mean the most..

Are lost in th telling..when we focus on something seriously it kinda gets killed.

 

How many shows or pieces ive made end up looking like outsider trash?

When my intent was high

Process long n genuine arduous n revelatory..

 

And its this hokey kitch remnant of bygone human art nostalga surperfluous to any currant contemporary inmate of culture.

 

Oh cheer up man

Yer not digging potstoes fer your lord and master in th bogs now are ya..

 

Are ya?

 

 

Cant sleep again .

Realy bad here. In this house.

I mean ...its all peachy just..

Cant make anything either.

Probably cos its not my place.
Logistics nightmare.

And just such a rabbit hole of neurosis makeing work at all!

I just dont have th energy.
Its so much work for nothing
Far away.

I want t give up.

I know theres work in me..
I see it.
Just sick t fuk of th screwy art werld
Myself
Over compensating
Under performing missing th mark

Not knowing what im.doing

Mature objective target abstract metaphysical scapes
Being this fuking fringe outsider guy when thats not who i am.

Oh then being arrogant or self centred cos ive ambition.or a sence of me own
Potential.

I miss home.

I just cant be fukd investing myself into another disaster
And paying for it .

Just being rational.

Dont know if i got it..

Cant sleep 

 

-------------------------

Dino saur rock atlantic

 

Cant sleep

Friendship

Thinking talking too much

Feeling th past

Scanning th ego project

In

 

Blessed receivers

Rat burrow

Humid

Thinking too much

Garlic

Sore throat

Not used to so many social stuff n personalitys

Friction

 

The pacific university

 

Flying

Everywhen 

Potentials

 


Hello sir.
(So sorry i forgot your name!)

Ive been meaning to write.

I met you briefly th day before th show in te manawa gallery palmerston north new zealand december 2017.

Th big climate change / abstract expressionist..exhibition.

(For short walk thru video have a look at the link on my website homepage

Www.jamesrobinson.nz.

HOW IS YOUR WRITEING?
AND BOOK TOUR.

So ive been travelling THE WORLD.
India ..6 months. On royal enfield bike.
Himalayers.
Egypt.
Iceland
Now in a rural beatnick private art residency in nova scotia.

Am sleeping in and studioing in
A old church. Huge
Organ ..stain glass..th works.

Ive a bell tower room.

Also the bay of fundy canada
Has the largest tides in the world.
So
If i can get my shit together to make
Mythicly..intuitivly
Poeticly
Im thinking of a show. Around themes of ocean
Capitalism extinction displacement migration
Faith
Environment
Identity
Fragmentation
Heroism
Failure defeat
Sickness

Spirit
Healing
Grief

Loss


And gain

God

GODD..!

SELF
ROBOTIC FACIEST WAR iN TH DEVIL

Flesh
Being
Time
Gravity
Light
Water
Watwr
Water
Light

Idea

Play!!!!!!!!!

Graphix in dada mind map surrealism

and organic stain fabric banners loose flowing.

The hosts run a paper buisness. Fine art paper.

Look..i am not sure why im writeing

I think its a portent
To have met you at th outset of this
Fools carbon rich white man walk about.

God bless you sir!

Mr james francis robinson.

(Ahem..james was given from my mum digging this beatnic prophet international counter culture poet in nz
JAMES K BAXTER
Francis..from assisi
And robinson
A dutch label..but ive acturally researched what

Robin son means.

I was ancestrily a product of a orgiastic singles fuck fest in th woods between villages.

Ritually.

As in a robin
Was a mix up meeting..moon..breeding plan..gene pool selection
Europe.

A son was a child from that intercourse communial process.

FACINATING!!!

 

-so so so so so

Wrong

 

Not this guy in particuler

 

But is granpa a jewdeo bearded skitxoid war god incesting n slavin with impunity thru th known universe?

 

Mmm

What if ya a native kid on drugs

With alcholic extended family n bad obese diet?

 

Grandpa..

 

Family structure

Cultural sentence structure syntax

And

Haha

Cognition of shapes dimentions meaning 

 

But

Th thin thread

Kindness

Love

That jesus meem of transindental human

Wisdom

 

Wisdom

 

Sophia

 

A goddess.

Eh

 

Who made granpa?

And who made sophia?

 

And CAN SOMEONE TELL ME ALLREADY

WHAT THE UNIVERSE SITS IN!!!

 

arrrrr 

 

Ripe fruit energy fall

Species wide

Rot

Mytho centric narcistic

Pan dimentional uplink

 

Shhhh go clean ya room boy

 

  1. See

Way of the infinit explorer

From his 

Audio cleaver 

By 

Neil kramer.com 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inviteing the PRIME xmas card of all times in a actural intimate gesture of what can only be fairly termed intentional
Feline ejaculate!

 

After your aged burmeese cat pisses on your face ...again!

You ol pussy man you.

Yes emminent usa prof types interest me
You Failed FAILED
to include a credible link fer my paroosal.

I have very limited connection..so not realy able to media indulge...my apols.

I did colkect string rope from a remote beach today with chinese american art acadrmic today had a booshy lunch which was excelkent.

Im watching obese people selling cake to obese people at a chain coffee shop being awfully chatty n so nice.

Mmmm im sickagain.
With a flu
Stress
Lack of sleep very low energy
Head spin tryi g to sort out what to make how..
Underlieing it..is
Its not acturally ok to make here in a serious way. Its a bohemian fantasy about being part of th the brick a brac fantasy art dumpster collection.

Residrncy woman yelled at me portentiously as i was about to start..after a long qi session.

My minds been scrabbling at expectations..techniques time frame.

Great buildings.
Full of crap.
And there tendrals everywhere. Which resilt in me moveing a pile of crap..to acturally eat at th kitchen propper.
..th crap was important aparently...in th
middle of th kitchen eh.

Sigh. I keep moveing allover to multipke beds..its hot its cold
This matress sucks this is lumpy.

The intent to start..to invest...was there.
I was just gunna start.
And she yells..screems.

Shes a stress case..multitasker..who has a ability to freekme out and although theres friendlyness too.
Its ambiguous boundrys..
money
space
Duration of residrncy.

I mean its great fer a visit. But too much like a private dopefreeks sprawling kingdom in th wops.
With the lack of boundrys.
Psychicly.

I oppologised profusely..and argued that there stuff was e erywhere..if i was to ask to move anything then..i would be asking about e ery fuking step!

So its not a professional residency.

Its a clusterfukd cafe.
A beatnick gallery.
Alot of shitty leaking buildings they got for nothing.
A church.
A cluster of artists comeing n going to have dinners.

A girls conflab.

Shit.

I over invested in a headcase fantasy.

Mine..aswell as theres.

Still...th area is nice.
Th tides are real.

Least i had god tell me before i started..its not ok.

I been worryd obsessivly fer a week about it.

Maybe something else comes up.

Im fukd not sleeping
Sick again.
..eating good. Lots garlic.
Still infected tho.

Fuk n fuk n fuk.

More 1000s lost.
Whaf ever.

Keep th faith.

FUCKING ASS CUNT ART WORLD EH 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

------------------ 


Coffee shop psychic wifi on!

A writer woman waiting fer a massage sits down purple t shirt.
Turns out shes adopted a bhutineese bhuddist kid.
We talk around metaphysics environment art writeing researchers ect

Then i go next door and equally engage with th cathlock opshop church woman in theological rambles..which there quite fluent in!
Never in nz would this happen.

I heard about satan even! Excellent stuff.
Hes especially active in summer im told from th wize old duck.

Ahhhh antiginaosh...weird lil place.

 

 

 

Bigot pop (literally yall)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just balld my eyes out with my ride
Talkin about my mother.

Conflict with hosts
Triggers.

I got this amethist hematite combo crystal from local woo shop as momento.

Proported healing grounding propertys.

Art prof erin en route to sculpture prof bf then toronto ..talkin bout her mum..her kids...
Im talkin bout my mum..you..
Me as a kid..

I totally connected with the love i had fer my mum as a boy.

The total awsomeness of woman as protector provider in there prime with family

Glue of the universe
Th strength n nobility of my mum..my utter belief in her awsomeness
Protection
Ect

And of course all th wounds in there that wernt addressed...and how rough it was being a kid semi abandond
With skitz dad violence in me..mums promiscous sex ..my sexial abuse
Out financial stress

I wasnt protected
But i adored my mother.

I totally sobbed in this car...big theropy wracking snot blubs.
Cos i missed my mum
And love.
Famly...all th stuff i dont get with being angry n hurt.

So th crystal ..
Th sleep deprivation th huge tides of th area
Th disfunctional art hosts..
My
Bizzare psychic topography..

And good kind mature company..
Totally amazeing woman.
Detatched but present.

Ran a being present drawong workshop .

Yeah.
I feel ok.
Im good.
Im a good good good man person.

And that kid who acts out..
At unfair flakey boundrys...
See..
He is safe with me.

He realy is.

Ok
Psycho report
Done.

Campingvtonight. 


 

Canadas endless highways of chain store replicant no choice consumer heaven.

Hmmm

Vast bigness comfortable the same the same same n same.

Hmmmm

Monolithic borg collectives...

Hmmm

Little bit scared..but ah...safe. 

The homeless screems follow up to my 19th floor 

Terrortorial yelps mostly from hominids

I understand..th rest of us just more nuanced n coded in our complicit cowardardice usually before reverting..

 

But whatta i know

 

I do believe in our extra angel capacity

Before satan lord dark pope lucifer put salt in th water n all.

Mumble knowledge snakes

Mumble

Speaking of snakes

Get hypnotised!

 

Cult chat  

 

 

 

been heart tuggd by torontos homeless

Got old dude a coffee n cookie
A young pregnant girl some company n change..

Yeah..humbling.

Heres me

Jet setting
Shopping at home trying t Buying vans

 

Showing art in parliment! Via mz speedy

Bless her.

Mental health youth suicide thing.

Mmmm

 

Theres a gathering storm..

"Tronna"

From student dorm robo hive

Where we dont look up from th phone!

 

Me wife be eater as doodle backdrop photo shoot.


Gulp 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sure you could human traffick the homeless person and the meth addict and have them taxidermied for The Turner Prize.

Art NZild would have you casually leaning against a wall with an earthenware coffee mug on the summer edition cover 2019....

It’d be fabulous darling...

The Prime Sinister could open the show, let wee Neve, daughter of THE NATION nibble on their toes like a non vegan husk. 

 

 

 

Sacred and the profane.(from anals of the dead necrophilliac TWANKY the potentially best secretary a man never had)

The carnival has become quite grotesque has it not?

The compulsion to glance over a shoulder as one walks away from the universal debasement is nil.

Somewhere between a bedazzled vagazzle and the bhurqa the pendulum rests with dignity.

The guttural cultural slatternfest does many a dullard make.

Or somesuch.

Modesty is The! New! Shock’n’Awe!

I think Rohan Weallans pushed me over the edge.

*sigh*

Slaughter the beast on a shrine at Ivan Anthony Gallery. Canapés will be served.

How gross we have become....and I’ve had a go too.

Ugh 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eagle carrys the one of the 7 grandfather teachings and the preyers of the people to the creator.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never realy got citys..

Seem disposable n somehow vacant.

  

Fulla these stains ghosts residual tribul communial identitys of th humans

Big rectangles push up in sky...a concrete hive drone..
Some code of anonimity in cool facades..

Glances scans..smiles knowings in a microsecond.

Constructed virtual life...at a inhuman scale..

Makes me question this species viability..
Realy. How can thousands...of these citys...exist..without consequence?

Non th less...
Here we are..us humans.
With our memorys n longings and addiction n wounds n our pride and beuaty
Our stupidity n childishness.

Here we are at all.

Theres a oversoul..
A known n knower.

Theres a different time and place...
Intersecting

Travelling to other peoples realitys doesnt seem real..somehow.
Like its all a illusion they dont understand is just a facade...

Is that my privledge..of channel changeing?
Probably...we take it with us..
Th culture th story
But grains of something inbetween get lodged innus..a common humanity
A seriously stupid civilisation that only will give way to emergent higher propertys of our true selfs.
Thats my hope...

Im not bemoaning midernity so much as..
Well...
I need to believe in something..
We dont seem to have a purpose..
Anymore.
The air of limited expectation in th certain collapse..

I understamd the need n love of god..
I do.
As blood pushs
As breath is drawn in and out.
As th galaxy turns
And light baths us from distant stars
Spins orbits and dark mysterys of the abyss and our own death..

The elemental majics of decay and nature ..
Of spirit and travel.

Reconcileing the ancient paleo hunter gather indiginous self..in famly tribe and unifyed self community n environment
Non being anything other than the self aswell..

To this...agrocultural digital hybrid mechsnised economatrix sci factoid newtonian reductionistic mental logical
Paradime...endless statis protocols and justifying ya self...

Dunno
Is there anywhere t get?
Other than what we are?

Alive
Life
Fractal symptom of universe
Spore..seasonal bloom between crustal bi polor swings..

A viral bloom enginairs its own ascendancy
..can birth n traima ..multitudes perishing..
And floods fires disease n famine reset th ballance..

Why am i never realy at home in my time
In my country
In myself.
In this world.

Dont get me wrong...greatfull beyond measure when i stop

Stop

And know what this
I AM is

And then it all falls into a omnipident blink of fated curiosity..laughing bhuddha type mystic shit..
The cosmic giggle as terrance mckenna would say.

But still..relentless..mechsnised chainstpre retail cult brand fetish identity smothering cloaking device of judgements burka
Then need want n want n want.

We forget who we are
Where were from..
How to live
How to live
Be well
Love n be loved.

Just chatted with a very large kenyan man about international affairs n local african geo politics n china investments ect....for ages...
70 pc unemployment! Whoa■

He too felt strange travelling in north america...a land not his own.
We...both laughd about being owned by th queen.


 

 

So ironic

And then ya anonimous un banker

Carbon me up ..if only

 

 

 

 


Im in james town
Saint james church graveyard...

Past
james cooper mansion with th wolfs n inverted wolf sculpture. 

Past
the our lady..of primitive vaginal universal birth canal shrine. 

 

Cicada..and small plane..and rustle of sacred oak
Wind
Wond
Breeze of breath from creator
Rustles the leafs
One
Falls
On
My
Head

While i do squats n
Lift chi up pour chi down..
And lie flat..
On the grass after
Big mother dino crystal.on me noggin whatsit
Skull cave.
Forehead.

Im just being
Being said as i

We agreed...and felt naked raw presence in sensual ...
Wasp like flys on bare feet
In
Trance noise ambient life sountrack
Irreplicable by any drone monk

Dudes saunter up..
Seem good dudes.
Maybe a mildly retarded..just a guess.

Wass up ..?
Weather not so hot tday
Yeah..not so hot..isay
Oh just..doing me ..ahhh
Preyer here in th park..
You visiting someobecthey ask..
Well yeah..haha.
=godd i say
(I like godd with double ds ya see)

Boom! boom!
Basil brush.

Oh ..ok..yeah doin me chi gong.
Wassat.
Preyer i say..like taichi
Oh ok they say.

Catcha later bro..!
Wee knuckle nudge thing.

Nice chaps.
Maybe meth smokers?
Maybe alterboys
Who can tell these days.

Chris hedges
The world as it is
Dispatchs about the myrh of human progress
And
Richard dawkins
A dim light? I think.
Fell inta my packpack library today.

No one reads books in wifi student dorm coffee opiem den innernet room.
No one talks
No one looks up.

Silent...mental...projections...

Whisps of wind in my grave yard
Ciccadas humm a holographic trance wave broadcast at me...

Id like research to be done please
If there receiveing distant star photonic rays..and translating into arabic with there own vibratory function.

As i said generously
From the beating heart of christ in me
To the new lie fe guy..

Anything is entirely possable sir.

I respect your delusion
Your right to it!
And the chance of its interpretive fact in
A rational narritive..

But includeing mythra
Zoroastrianism
And
Pre christian animism n stoneage fertility worship

Yes...christ as universal consciousness..
And entomological root werds to tougues we didnt know we had in meanings we forgot were possable

Someone built the temples we didnt
And
Certainly divine will
As in and from the god
godds
And
Pan spermic spin n thrust cygnus star system mystery
Pulsar life sperm spirit world

Spirit world
Heaven
Stars
And light
Light n christ and son of man
Sonn of woman n blood of life!

Trifecta
Apollo
Dionysis
Rambo
Shiva

The word n story
The story n alphabet
The book n libry
The printing press and internet
The codex

The quantumn matter
Dark vacuume
Flows of
Unknowable
Plasma electro universe blood mind
Energy

Qi

Of mind of
Christ the eternal
Onsciousness
And
Divine life of
Any

All

And...not entirely ...stable

James said (the 90s ballad pop band)

God made love to me
Soothed away my gravity
Gave me a pair of angel wings
Some vision
Some majic things

God is love to me
Thank you for these things..

Understsnd the world your living in
Love can mean anything.

.......


I think what im.trying to get at here..
Is
Transcendance
And
Being

And the everyday

Are under our noses.

The breath
The awareness of it.
The blood
The rustlr of leaves
The horrable dramas
The pleasure seeking aboidant gratification
The self absorbed rambling monologs

The desire!
The thirst!
The ligitimate anxt
The
Need

Closeness intimacy
Experiential boundy onnection
The puncturing of alienation
The absorbing into a whole
Greater than th self

Non greater than the self
True self
All self
No self

Non being.

Out.

End

Dark

Unknown
Edges
Frontiers
Unknowables
Death
Nipples
The light.

Pulseing
Throbbing grinding
Screeming
Cold
Emergent...
Frustration
Pain
Suffering
Endless suffering in time trap
Time
Trap
Conditioned by rhetoric convention a million dtate sponsored programs of submission mindcontroll obedience
Economys fear..animal fear
Dought..rage lust hot lust
Grief
Judgement
Everything i am is wrong
Its hell!
This me
This..family this...lacknof reality..
Concrete...


And
Play...

Hand draws..
Worlds
Notice

Then
Notice

Pleasant redundancy.

Lessons like confetti in
Meaningfull arrays of hope constructs..
Choices..

Perspectives
Crystaline awareness refracting
Topological manifolds of other dimentions..

Sun beam

Seagull spirit transporter.

Therez christ again.

All of it baby cakes
On the head

Of

A
Pin. 

 

 

 

 

 


Met a few homeless dudes tday.

One guy

SELLING MAJIC AGATE RINGS
Hullo.

From brazil.

Real down low...non pushy.
Lovely lil sighn..
..3$

Another guy...with dog. Young.
From bc near alaska..half viking n native. Reservation kid.
Straight ..clean sober..
But lookd weatherd.

Been on rd since 12.
Washing windshields.

Yeah..they share real.
I believe it.

He was tellin me his famly drama.
Dad killd pple.
Mum a native ..turnd pro.
Pple just high...fukd up on reservation.
Sniffing petrol.

Man..brutal.
I wantd t give him my tent.
He only wantd if light n small.
Its perfect. ...tomorrow i give.
I got two more at home.
It wasin iceland in storms..hell aprietiate that.

Im not tryin to be all lefty n identify ..just well
I do identify.
Coulda been me eh...
Its same as all our dramas..cept we got cimfort n stress in different ways.
He was 24. Kinda punky rustic woodsy dirty ..strong lookin guy.

Fuk wish i was a farmer guy who could get him a hut fer gardening n stuff.

So sad...

Still...how can i not be my own victim based on learnt behaviours n reactions.
Hmmm
Still goes on..fer me.

Humbling this LIFE! 

 

  Yeah..

I think so.

I identify...specially with th dudes.

There good men..maybe

or there struggling with guilt 

Denial 

addiction for sure

Its such a tradgedy our culture dont teach plle to value self.

I spoze the abject right?
Th broken
The in process
Th hurt

Like erosion in a process
Like fire flood

Like something beyond us..we are in

The loss
Fragmentation

Is beutifull too?

Dispite the outward..appearance.
I dunno...

I dunno..

Its me own famly of course im vibeing on here..prob.

I dont see myself seperatly..
But...im glad i get to go in many worlds
Mentally
Socially
Economicly.

But th point is..

We all...are in the same FIELD spiritually eh.

And that is compassion
And light n love.
As life..

Truly...we are the same.
Rich poor black white old young.
Were all...part of this miricle

We forhet th ess3nce of being we share.

Im a romantic.

I can tottally be a biggot too..im not all jesus crazy.
But theres some weird shift goin on in me..i think.
Dunno..

Toronto is very weird..is all. 

+××××÷÷÷===÷×××××××××+++÷÷÷÷÷÷

 

The guy was museing on electro magnetic propertys of the quartz n copper in a alchemicle combo.i got him a apple juice n hung out fer a hour. I think by th end it was evident i was the more mad one.he was pakistani n something. Youd never know..we raved religeon.my india trip..the sex abuse goin on in his prostitute alley bedroom...which may have been memory and guilt i wonderd...people tell storys that illustrate them selfs..not always literal. But pple do tell the truth in there own way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Brief statement to parliment

Youth suicide awareness show

Sept 4 2018

In 1998 my younger brother martin
Hung himself.
He was a heavily sedated "mentell health consumer" of the state.


Many people  feel like dieing
Especually when on institutional medication.
I believe martin was influenced by the chemicles he was forced to use.
But also
Unemployment..dislexia.. and
A solo parent unstable upbringing.

Me and my brother started drinking vodka in the park at age 14 (he was 12)

He never stopped..
I got theropy in a now defunct rehab centre called queen mary.in hamner
A whole person kind of theropy hospital for addiction.

There was a maori program there too that i enjoyed as a white guy. Singing n all.

Anyway..art was always with me.
With it
Self reflection
Responsability..
Creation..and consciousness.
A faith..or dream
Of hope.

My practice is born from our countrys marginal ..and our civilisational cracks in the deficit of all social
And environmental capital.

We are in a systemic addict..and are all in a suicide machine.

Triumph over death..
And a return to connection meaning and purpose place and community for me
(TURANGIWAIWAI)
would include..a complete demolishing of the economic models the educational constructs and the globalist corperate system we are all subject too.

Art is a paleo mythic dream time
Cracks in the conrete of consentual hypnosis..and a yoga of re membering
Toward
Self realisation
True self
And universal wholeness.

I am a fiercely committed surviver
Who will leave echos in this land till i die
Evennif its a bit silly
And often over serious.

Kiora
James robinson
(Toronto)
 




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