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India (chapter two)

Airport art. From naga land. ..they had carving totems too..very pacific.

Mural in train alley.

Second 90 day stint. Egypt to cairo..sick. But with good airplane films All strangely echoing themes of men with kids..and evokeing emotional weepyness.. 1 manglehorn (al pacino) 2 infinitly polar bear 3 security (action no brainer..but hes protecting a 11 year old girl..) So all these disolveing redundant male architype roles fed back to me..eh... In a vacuume sealed autonimous airport faximilie of life...or is that just my identity makeover matrix globalist agenda spreading Make it back jubulently without any bad stuff..cept a last gesture from egypt man authority..customs pat down strikeing my nipples forcefully. It seemed...fuk i hate egyption guys...i glowerd at him.. Saying mentally.. Dont fukin touch me like that creep.! Dont care what uniform you got on. I dont have a bomb in my tit dude. Googled rape in egypt..yep..suspician confirmed. Massive child abuse n male n femal rape stats...thatll explain sone of the dark vibes. And we rememver the cheery cathlic background hum.of ya ruined famly..and Psycho standover fsmly violence of ya own pacific state house ghetto.. Which was a utopian privledge of course in the 70s. .with last of my energy off plane..went on tuk tuk tooon local crounded train.. Sewer smells n crouded rubbishy frantic street. Familier homely! But i like it..its fun..seeing being with th reguler pple transiting. At hotel..where i left bike there pleased to see me.. to pay up obviously fer storeing bike.. Which doesnt start and has bits pinched from it and is coated in grime n dust from atmosphere I go to small hot room. And fer two days in dark drift in infected dark warm sweaty lump rusty barbed wire throat feeling infection.. In cheapish hotel. Finding th cairo antibiotic starting.. Still sleep in life review kinda memory identity storyboard..some inturnalised confrontational throat chakra pyrimid mummy action. Whats true ....whats false....psychological origins of evil Edges bend..judments collapse You see ya self As a kid Or soul..timeless Memorys rush back ..how loss Agitation Fear Amger judgement criticism expectation.. All.. Block..this sublime freedom A glimpse of Some other creatire Th real you..the timeless soul..kid..being. Just visiting. Cathartic discharge of a ritual sick..in body. How graced to start again dispite that ever preasent shadow..great teacher. Indian streets swirl.in a million moods.. Sometimes hostile filthy apathetic Then at a different hour..modest kind professional helpfull Then..money hungry...and every eye on ya.. But wouldnt get anywhere..without the enmeshed generosity help and openess. I dont know any hindi... Its amazeing im getting by at all! Dusk theres moments of play lightness civility..pple end work.. hang out A chai with a guy...a fella buys me a mango juice in th middle of day..when i finally emerge..bloody good. As if th universe was saying... Its a relationship..its not all about me spending...but just being here. A contradiction to feeling like a walking cash machine .ladyboys hussling fer coin. Firm commanding clap clap clap! I give em 5 roops. There was eye contact. A photo with a chip maker boiling chips in huge couldron veg oil. .a cell phone shop help..maybe the network will process my number when they get round to it. Directions tomorrow for bike journey. Spokes on bike had to have repair work someone or potholes..had broken 6 of them on one side..was feeling unballanced. All sorted.coulda been done on purpose just so i could be escourted to th repair guy..but..im too suspicious. Glad it was sorted out..about 20$.. saw him do it..kinda cool...watchin th repair. Maintainence not getting wiped out on th road. Street samosa pretty good... Little things..guy gives ya sloppy sause dribbles down ya leg..did he do that on purpose cos they dont like me? Whole shop stareing at white guy.. Is th laughing pointing at me like fun or..ahh ...mean. Shit i gotta eat too! esp when sick.. Didnt eat fer 35 hours..sweating n moaning in bed. Thats th down side being only white guy in town Everyone notices ya..pretend not to if there polite Stares if they dont give a fuk Often glowers darkly from hairy hunched youth on motobike. Different than egypt..more..hmm safe? Lots more well wishing friendlyness if ya engage. I love the atmosphere of openess on street. Everythings kinda on show.. The weilder th sewer the flour grinder The preyer shrine.. The macine tool shop Knife sharpener Everyones kinda lookin out..of there shop..or hanging arbitarily Or playing a game in a circle on a cell phone..giggling.. Or ...any number of chaotic weird innocent stuff.. In th dust Open sewers n honking horns With sequined bling n repose of jaw..lofty looks or Mumbled hellos... Just a average crappy modern developing town. Werkin folk..doing there think as village. 

..maybe that level of availability n function is not with us in nz dunedin.. th west. Were all so removed from being of service or needed in th competion of economy.. Frontage of web review..peer apraisals n psi ops of media ego  spin. Shit..people here just do. ..get on with it. In th shit. They probly dont notice anymore. THe galaxy phone shop next to ye olde male barbour wooden box guy. Or Fancey saree shop next to bakery. And assorted street fryed things guys. Dogs hangin in warm sun gravel from a half finished repair on a crumbly house... All left on chaotic street. Its a hell of a neihbourhood..! I was so glad to be back ive been realy cross n offended heaps of times already.which i kick myself for Im a reactive dick..but .. It is challangeing being ill. Still..."give me the money" Seems to be th catch phrase.. Which is before hospitality  implys im not gonna pay at th hotel.. Ya think somewheres decent..cos they wipe th floor.. And have suits But there as clutchy n preditry for the pretence of what passes fer a classy joint around here. Panval..outside mumbai. Feeling betterish..needs basicly met..and Off to elora caves on th bike..if i can get gmaps going. Im tetherd to needing internet big time..interms of logistics. ..a ancient carved tourist zone of antiquity in a canyon...on way to agra. Taj mahal....then varanasi. Thats the next few weeks. plan.

JUST

SO FUKIN LUCKY TO BE PRESENT

HERE NOW

WITH THESE PEOPLE

YOU PEOPLE

THE WORLD SEEMS LIKE A MAJICAL DIMENTIONAL PROBABILITY OVERLAY

EQUAL HORROR

AND TRANCENDANT MAJESTY N DIVINE RIPEINING.

Its all sooo beuatifull...

Its all too beuatifull...!!

THE INNER AND OUTTER SYNERGISE THE STEP

WE MAKE OURSELFS MAKEING EACH OTHER..

IN INTIMATE SUFFERINGS DEPENDANCYS AND UNDERSTANDINGS

THIS COMPASSION

WITNESSING HUMAN INTELLIGENCE

NOT MENTAL VIRTUAL HYBRID LINEAR.

BUT

FULL NATURAL SLOW DEEP REAL.

ARTS LISTENING THRU TH VEIL

TRANSLATEING IN OURSELFS

OTHER

ANCESTERS CALL SPIRIT WORLD

AS IF THERES ANY OTHER.

MAKE THE LANGUAGE

ENERGISE THE FLOW

Accepting shit as it is

Understanding what that..is

Might be.

(Life work there.)

Quick note.

Methane permafrost melt 

With upper atmosphere hi energy beams

Arctic sea temp riseing heaps

Super volvano detonations as probable 

Elite fix

Manufactured global winter..

Versus run away climate change.

What artists have known fer thousands of years

SELF REINFORCING FEEDBACK LOOPS

(Crystslising to whole cultures even)

Guy macpherson wellington talk

Or a more succinct over view

Overview

I like this guy cos he opted out n farmed a permaculture farm ..

And is a anarchist 

As a top academic scientist...the heirachy he has trained in..has not deterred his ability to truth tell.

Got a nose fer that..

But some will live a wee techno topia in a bunker.

Im having a past life regression

A weird psychogeographic cultural integreation with memory..of..

Somewhere else..bottom of the planet where i live...but most of my genetic history..is european..also indiginous at some relitivly recent time..

Any self help group would agree

Admitting youve a problem.is the first step.

Since when was death a problem anyway

For a species...a planet..anyway..

A spiritual mythology..pantheon of astro theological countings creening necks at distant points..

Advanced math...some..knowledge inhearited from previous civilisations

And time...

What of time mumma?..what are all the babys for mumma?

Do we wake up in a shiney rainbow dimention..far far away with everyone we ever loved and nice angels who telepathicly offer comfort?

(Or for that matter mid class glitz hotel trashy pomp fer raj n baba)

Its a blessed n increadable journey.

Everything..as it is...the people

The land

The mind

So greatfull lucky and kind.

Thank you thank you thank you

Suger cane juice. 

Pani puri

Yeah so given the sobering 

Severe

Irreversable...imminent n 

Catastrophic collapse of our imaginary world.

Even with AI  n mars probes n mega rich vampires n all that.

Its about...as it ever was

Personal accountability

Journey of the soul

All is gift

None of it mine

And just a privledge n honour to be witness.

Does our transindental witness zip back to alpha centurei? Th peleides?

Cosmic nurserys?

Or ever wrathfull phantoms of a doomed acifiyed planet..no way of upscaleing th karma cognition to next level..to ascend as it werre

All too linear i expect.

Were either all loved infinite creatures of magnificence

Or

Damned lowly sinners.

Who can tell these days.

I know my own flip flopping software malfunctions

Is incomplete upgrades.

AS IT IS 

Sort of implys take everything assumed away

Clear view whats left outside of me n my.

Nearly impossable..

That neo cortex thingy...jeesus who installed that!!

Pretty aware at this juncture

Of my dependancy..of insulation

My independant (personal excess cash affords) individually masks

Oil fed empire ego self.

Good job if ya can get it..fer planet bacteria..maybe a insect..

A fly structure.

Yeah behelzebub..thats me.

Divine temporary life blip.

Jetting (albeit melancholie) thru village structure developing werld....

Privledge cowboy..albeit..alot less so than some indian tourists ill add.

Yeah..get ova ya self..could be ignored at home..screeming away at th end of th house while ya mother gets her career saving th world.

Art that lovely psychic commody war zone of aesthetic choice..intellugence

And refined processed disapointmrnt

Turnd

Self will n manifestation.

This illusion...

When everything falls away.

Revealed

Raw death

Illuminating creative..transformational.

Behind everything

Pain

Amxiety

Neurosis

Fear

Neglect

Disease

Hatred

Ignorance

Denial

Class

Privledge

All them socialised lies we reinforce

Cos everyone else does.

Its normal.

I realy dont matter

Cept to me

A tiny amount of others.

Hideing away nz sensitives.

Makeing up the adult story..

In th post colonial bully hive of fuktards.

Pompous pc robotic automotrons

On auto suggestive clone farm 

Wireless.

Lifes a ecstatic strange delerious crystal clear dance

Wakeing dream phantasm of co created natural forces..

Pulled together from a material dimention..in local self defineing space..

..

Its all we know

But theres probably heaps more to it we are missing

Cos of our narrow bandwidth

Culturial bias groupthink

Unconsciousness

Singuler

Collective.

Yep

No great answers here..

Gods great !

(insert meaning system of yer choice in that term)

Were all fucked!..planet fever 

Loops cascade

Its not even nessesarily our fault.

..

Fizzy cosmic froth

Reflecting something

Made of the mind

Alive

In which it froths.

Holographic

So big profit vampire

Makeing spaceships

Farm you n me till th end

Around now.

The toys at christmas

Always fuk out pretty quick.

In reality

Im at a typical plastic table

On plastic chair

Going to elora caves.

Where perhaps pple used to virtie signal there political godliness fer there set of ruler elites

Aka art..technology.

Perhaps there was a pious uplink in there over th 1000 years of sectarian wership

Perhaps

Some crazed poor monk saw thru th insane monkey bullshit.

Smiled...kindly

Tryd not to be used 

Killed

Venerated..or ignored.

anything else there likely to do to ya.

Anyway

My privledge...lookin at a countrys past relics...feeling like this is the 

Past

Of it all

Terrance mckenna

Post history rant

Strange attracter pulling from future

Terrance sound bite 98

Ok..so my fairy god mother.."twanky"

Suggested in her way

That ...rather than imminent heat death of planet n run away feedback loops already underway..

(Keep on shoppin yall)

Ahh

What is life anyway..right?

I mean...WHAT IS LIFE 

Even if it ends as us.

A brief flurrish..on a rock.

Speaking of rocks..this one kailash cave

Named after th mountain..ca4v3d from the cliff..over 2000 years ago takeing 900 years i think.

Fukn impressive.

Kinda mystifyed me with th lingum cave.

I like my religeo anthro tourism to have metimifisical cock n pussy milk bath symbolism.

Na truly...i felt it.

Symbolism thats literal as it is universal.

Its real dark in there..inturnal space.

Smooth worn rock floor..pillers..

Scale.

Got me thinking..the equivalents of "carving" today.

Information sculpting..data..bio tech gene design..light even.

All that s i fi paranormal narritive of uploading ya self to a another dimention..

Of course

The recent ancesters knew this already was that. Without th gadgets....think that edge is why mans religeon is so fizzy about death god n soul..afterlife..

Maybe womans religeon would be bit more present embodyed..would cash machines be psychotheripists too?

Give hugs..do longterm service arrangements fer protection n submission to alpha egos..

I was in a shit mood tday.

Slept in a stone monks cell..

Was gawkd at by indian famlys..

Selfie selfie!

This as sanctifyed as it is..is just another famly outting n trimket sales point.

Im tuneing in..to intent..worship..artistry..math..

And eery chambers awsome leeching rock dribbles..its echoing a minimal natural aesthetic ..of fundamentals..for me

Absoluteism...

I reckognise my own singuler search or feeling for reverence mystery 

the sacred.

Wanting that to be central..even in silence.

Perhaps it is already.

Imagine...having nothing..being a 12centry bhuddjist monk in a stone cell..ya whole life.

Or a rate payer in port chalmers.

Whole time im recogniseing im vibeing on "nature"..erosion time elemental stsin..th edges of surfaces..the discordant with th articulated..contrasts..

In aotearoa..the sacred spaces for alot of us are raw..not synthesised. 

Like caves stelagnites

Mountain trains avalanch..river rock pools 

Swirl ..coastline cliff bush n forrest. 

Whats left after the realestate market anyway.

Thats why the retarded kid

The paraplegic

The mentally ill

The successful social achiever 

Are all as important as the well adapted normal ignorant.

Cos

Unformed information..has as much raw content as formed made.

In fact..

We usually just ego fuk the shit oitra anything we turn our hand too cocking it up entirely.

Lemmie be a hunter gather

Die young wen i can still root n forrage and it means something

..dunno..

Civilisation..was a mistske.

As a kid i was morosely upset at th lack of trees on th plains and hills in chch.

Couldnt understsnd how any of this town was progress at all.

I liked saphire n steel mind you..dr who..

Oh yeah..this iz my blog..im gunna wank on as much as i need seeing as im depressed travling alone in fat white middleage loner no famly everyone hates me privledge.

Seriously..no social context..outside of a visa card..what can i say..im not driveing drunk.

Still social context may be a bit ambitious in a robo hive of virtual meem cluster interface n isolation self centred conformist right wing strut 

Victim slave children.

If we were all passionate maori warriors and told th brittish n th globalist agenda to fuck off

Grew organic veges n wild meat

Gene resurrected birds..

And

Sang more aswell as read up to date periodicals concerning star telepathy.

Yeah

Ride my whale.

Sleep in my car.

i do

Its a hi ace van.

Ahhh so tel us about love master

(Parodying a time when people spoke freely)

Love my child

As destructive as creation itself.

It starts with ya mother

It never realy ends.

Beware

Beware

Militiristic monotheism

Material acculation seperation

That..vain echo of hearing ya self hearing about ya self hearing

Organism..self determines

Best route.

Others part of it..but peripheral to inner.

Related however.

It would appear there is only you

But thats apearing to a false entity.

Infact theres no one there.

Whats there is water in a stream

A death in the trenchs 1918

A influenza death in the jungle after fritz visited.

Love..when im the breath n sun n 

Wind n collideing galaxys in fast forward

When 

I need you to need me 

as needfull things need

Body requirements

Trust obeying giggles.

Knowing itll go to shit

Knowing it cant last

Makeing a effort anyway

Cos we love you

Theres nothing else to do..stick around

Report..no one listening

report...hear ya self burble bullshit

Report..

Kindly suppose ya better than ya feel

Whats the measure?

Love cos 

Umm were mamels and thats the biochemicle soup we jive on..

Although it could be..a entity from between versions of ourselfs collectivly fractal peering in thru the tulpa cam angle

The one th one the one

Eternal flow

Energy body

Grains of sand

Echoing feedbacks echoing feedbacks

Intencifying in dencity

Woops theres the dna libary all over me skirt.

Sacrifice empathy forgivness

Honesty commitment willingness

Service..stupidity wizdom

Cooking cleaning..spending alot of money

Not doing what ya want to all th time

Admitting ya wrong

Admitting there wrong

Inability to make it right

Laughter

hopelessness

..and failure

Success being 

 a candidate at all

Baby.

Ultimatly..love

About shareing being alive self acceptance

And accepting  

 judgemental  creeps

Love

Safty

Early home life

Violence

Guilt

Anger resent distrust 

Shame 

Abandonment..

Problem yer always a problem .

Love

.

Acting addict sociopath

Criminal

Steal

Hurt

Normal fuckers.

Love

That kid

Burnin down th house...tryd so earnestly 

 YA GOTTA TRY T BE GOOD AY

 default 

 soaked in other ..made  being born.

abortion.. womans choise

Good..obey ..conform..submit..good

Relinquish..

Play th game

bad.

Power.

Storm

Flood

Wind

Deceit lies 

Horror

Acceptance..

Flower

Sunset

Breeze

Bigger picture in everything

Sketching.. very good student.

understand

 the way 

took my own hand 

 in my heart  kinda from future or something

sane..observer

Weve made alotta decisions together me n this guy

He looks out fer me .

Hes majic.

 fuk with majic.

Ya cant 

A start u

biggot tax ring

Na.

 make it ya self.

Get a bit of faith

Help