India (chapter two)
Airport art. From naga land. ..they had carving totems too..very pacific.
Mural in train alley.
Second 90 day stint. Egypt to cairo..sick. But with good airplane films All strangely echoing themes of men with kids..and evokeing emotional weepyness.. 1 manglehorn (al pacino) 2 infinitly polar bear 3 security (action no brainer..but hes protecting a 11 year old girl..) So all these disolveing redundant male architype roles fed back to me..eh... In a vacuume sealed autonimous airport faximilie of life...or is that just my identity makeover matrix globalist agenda spreading Make it back jubulently without any bad stuff..cept a last gesture from egypt man authority..customs pat down strikeing my nipples forcefully. It seemed...fuk i hate egyption guys...i glowerd at him.. Saying mentally.. Dont fukin touch me like that creep.! Dont care what uniform you got on. I dont have a bomb in my tit dude. Googled rape in egypt..yep..suspician confirmed. Massive child abuse n male n femal rape stats...thatll explain sone of the dark vibes. And we rememver the cheery cathlic background hum.of ya ruined famly..and Psycho standover fsmly violence of ya own pacific state house ghetto.. Which was a utopian privledge of course in the 70s. .with last of my energy off plane..went on tuk tuk tooon local crounded train.. Sewer smells n crouded rubbishy frantic street. Familier homely! But i like it..its fun..seeing being with th reguler pple transiting. At hotel..where i left bike there pleased to see me.. to pay up obviously fer storeing bike.. Which doesnt start and has bits pinched from it and is coated in grime n dust from atmosphere I go to small hot room. And fer two days in dark drift in infected dark warm sweaty lump rusty barbed wire throat feeling infection.. In cheapish hotel. Finding th cairo antibiotic starting.. Still sleep in life review kinda memory identity storyboard..some inturnalised confrontational throat chakra pyrimid mummy action. Whats true ....whats false....psychological origins of evil Edges bend..judments collapse You see ya self As a kid Or soul..timeless Memorys rush back ..how loss Agitation Fear Amger judgement criticism expectation.. All.. Block..this sublime freedom A glimpse of Some other creatire Th real you..the timeless soul..kid..being. Just visiting. Cathartic discharge of a ritual sick..in body. How graced to start again dispite that ever preasent shadow..great teacher. Indian streets swirl.in a million moods.. Sometimes hostile filthy apathetic Then at a different hour..modest kind professional helpfull Then..money hungry...and every eye on ya.. But wouldnt get anywhere..without the enmeshed generosity help and openess. I dont know any hindi... Its amazeing im getting by at all! Dusk theres moments of play lightness civility..pple end work.. hang out A chai with a guy...a fella buys me a mango juice in th middle of day..when i finally emerge..bloody good. As if th universe was saying... Its a relationship..its not all about me spending...but just being here. A contradiction to feeling like a walking cash machine .ladyboys hussling fer coin. Firm commanding clap clap clap! I give em 5 roops. There was eye contact. A photo with a chip maker boiling chips in huge couldron veg oil. .a cell phone shop help..maybe the network will process my number when they get round to it. Directions tomorrow for bike journey. Spokes on bike had to have repair work someone or potholes..had broken 6 of them on one side..was feeling unballanced. All sorted.coulda been done on purpose just so i could be escourted to th repair guy..but..im too suspicious. Glad it was sorted out..about 20$.. saw him do it..kinda cool...watchin th repair. Maintainence not getting wiped out on th road. Street samosa pretty good... Little things..guy gives ya sloppy sause dribbles down ya leg..did he do that on purpose cos they dont like me? Whole shop stareing at white guy.. Is th laughing pointing at me like fun or..ahh ...mean. Shit i gotta eat too! esp when sick.. Didnt eat fer 35 hours..sweating n moaning in bed. Thats th down side being only white guy in town Everyone notices ya..pretend not to if there polite Stares if they dont give a fuk Often glowers darkly from hairy hunched youth on motobike. Different than egypt..more..hmm safe? Lots more well wishing friendlyness if ya engage. I love the atmosphere of openess on street. Everythings kinda on show.. The weilder th sewer the flour grinder The preyer shrine.. The macine tool shop Knife sharpener Everyones kinda lookin out..of there shop..or hanging arbitarily Or playing a game in a circle on a cell phone..giggling.. Or ...any number of chaotic weird innocent stuff.. In th dust Open sewers n honking horns With sequined bling n repose of jaw..lofty looks or Mumbled hellos... Just a average crappy modern developing town. Werkin folk..doing there think as village.
..maybe that level of availability n function is not with us in nz dunedin.. th west. Were all so removed from being of service or needed in th competion of economy.. Frontage of web review..peer apraisals n psi ops of media ego spin. Shit..people here just do. ..get on with it. In th shit. They probly dont notice anymore. THe galaxy phone shop next to ye olde male barbour wooden box guy. Or Fancey saree shop next to bakery. And assorted street fryed things guys. Dogs hangin in warm sun gravel from a half finished repair on a crumbly house... All left on chaotic street. Its a hell of a neihbourhood..! I was so glad to be back ive been realy cross n offended heaps of times already.which i kick myself for Im a reactive dick..but .. It is challangeing being ill. Still..."give me the money" Seems to be th catch phrase.. Which is before hospitality implys im not gonna pay at th hotel.. Ya think somewheres decent..cos they wipe th floor.. And have suits But there as clutchy n preditry for the pretence of what passes fer a classy joint around here. Panval..outside mumbai. Feeling betterish..needs basicly met..and Off to elora caves on th bike..if i can get gmaps going. Im tetherd to needing internet big time..interms of logistics. ..a ancient carved tourist zone of antiquity in a canyon...on way to agra. Taj mahal....then varanasi. Thats the next few weeks. plan.
JUST
SO FUKIN LUCKY TO BE PRESENT
HERE NOW
WITH THESE PEOPLE
YOU PEOPLE
THE WORLD SEEMS LIKE A MAJICAL DIMENTIONAL PROBABILITY OVERLAY
EQUAL HORROR
AND TRANCENDANT MAJESTY N DIVINE RIPEINING.
Its all sooo beuatifull...
Its all too beuatifull...!!
THE INNER AND OUTTER SYNERGISE THE STEP
WE MAKE OURSELFS MAKEING EACH OTHER..
IN INTIMATE SUFFERINGS DEPENDANCYS AND UNDERSTANDINGS
THIS COMPASSION
WITNESSING HUMAN INTELLIGENCE
NOT MENTAL VIRTUAL HYBRID LINEAR.
BUT
FULL NATURAL SLOW DEEP REAL.
ARTS LISTENING THRU TH VEIL
TRANSLATEING IN OURSELFS
OTHER
ANCESTERS CALL SPIRIT WORLD
AS IF THERES ANY OTHER.
MAKE THE LANGUAGE
ENERGISE THE FLOW
Accepting shit as it is
Understanding what that..is
Might be.
(Life work there.)
Quick note.
Methane permafrost melt
With upper atmosphere hi energy beams
Arctic sea temp riseing heaps
Super volvano detonations as probable
Elite fix
Manufactured global winter..
Versus run away climate change.
What artists have known fer thousands of years
SELF REINFORCING FEEDBACK LOOPS
(Crystslising to whole cultures even)
Guy macpherson wellington talk
Or a more succinct over view
I like this guy cos he opted out n farmed a permaculture farm ..
And is a anarchist
As a top academic scientist...the heirachy he has trained in..has not deterred his ability to truth tell.
Got a nose fer that..
But some will live a wee techno topia in a bunker.
Im having a past life regression
A weird psychogeographic cultural integreation with memory..of..
Somewhere else..bottom of the planet where i live...but most of my genetic history..is european..also indiginous at some relitivly recent time..
Any self help group would agree
Admitting youve a problem.is the first step.
Since when was death a problem anyway
For a species...a planet..anyway..
A spiritual mythology..pantheon of astro theological countings creening necks at distant points..
Advanced math...some..knowledge inhearited from previous civilisations
And time...
What of time mumma?..what are all the babys for mumma?
Do we wake up in a shiney rainbow dimention..far far away with everyone we ever loved and nice angels who telepathicly offer comfort?
(Or for that matter mid class glitz hotel trashy pomp fer raj n baba)
Its a blessed n increadable journey.
Everything..as it is...the people
The land
The mind
So greatfull lucky and kind.
Thank you thank you thank you
Suger cane juice.
Pani puri
Yeah so given the sobering
Severe
Irreversable...imminent n
Catastrophic collapse of our imaginary world.
Even with AI n mars probes n mega rich vampires n all that.
Its about...as it ever was
Personal accountability
Journey of the soul
All is gift
None of it mine
And just a privledge n honour to be witness.
Does our transindental witness zip back to alpha centurei? Th peleides?
Cosmic nurserys?
Or ever wrathfull phantoms of a doomed acifiyed planet..no way of upscaleing th karma cognition to next level..to ascend as it werre
All too linear i expect.
Were either all loved infinite creatures of magnificence
Or
Damned lowly sinners.
Who can tell these days.
I know my own flip flopping software malfunctions
Is incomplete upgrades.
AS IT IS
Sort of implys take everything assumed away
Clear view whats left outside of me n my.
Nearly impossable..
That neo cortex thingy...jeesus who installed that!!
Pretty aware at this juncture
Of my dependancy..of insulation
My independant (personal excess cash affords) individually masks
Oil fed empire ego self.
Good job if ya can get it..fer planet bacteria..maybe a insect..
A fly structure.
Yeah behelzebub..thats me.
Divine temporary life blip.
Jetting (albeit melancholie) thru village structure developing werld....
Privledge cowboy..albeit..alot less so than some indian tourists ill add.
Yeah..get ova ya self..could be ignored at home..screeming away at th end of th house while ya mother gets her career saving th world.
Art that lovely psychic commody war zone of aesthetic choice..intellugence
And refined processed disapointmrnt
Turnd
Self will n manifestation.
This illusion...
When everything falls away.
Revealed
Raw death
Illuminating creative..transformational.
Behind everything
Pain
Amxiety
Neurosis
Fear
Neglect
Disease
Hatred
Ignorance
Denial
Class
Privledge
All them socialised lies we reinforce
Cos everyone else does.
Its normal.
I realy dont matter
Cept to me
A tiny amount of others.
Hideing away nz sensitives.
Makeing up the adult story..
In th post colonial bully hive of fuktards.
Pompous pc robotic automotrons
On auto suggestive clone farm
Wireless.
Lifes a ecstatic strange delerious crystal clear dance
Wakeing dream phantasm of co created natural forces..
Pulled together from a material dimention..in local self defineing space..
..
Its all we know
But theres probably heaps more to it we are missing
Cos of our narrow bandwidth
Culturial bias groupthink
Unconsciousness
Singuler
Collective.
Yep
No great answers here..
Gods great !
(insert meaning system of yer choice in that term)
Were all fucked!..planet fever
Loops cascade
Its not even nessesarily our fault.
..
Fizzy cosmic froth
Reflecting something
Made of the mind
Alive
In which it froths.
Holographic
So big profit vampire
Makeing spaceships
Farm you n me till th end
Around now.
The toys at christmas
Always fuk out pretty quick.
In reality
Im at a typical plastic table
On plastic chair
Going to elora caves.
Where perhaps pple used to virtie signal there political godliness fer there set of ruler elites
Aka art..technology.
Perhaps there was a pious uplink in there over th 1000 years of sectarian wership
Perhaps
Some crazed poor monk saw thru th insane monkey bullshit.
Smiled...kindly
Tryd not to be used
Killed
Venerated..or ignored.
anything else there likely to do to ya.
Anyway
My privledge...lookin at a countrys past relics...feeling like this is the
Past
Of it all
Terrance mckenna
Post history rant
Strange attracter pulling from future
Ok..so my fairy god mother.."twanky"
Suggested in her way
That ...rather than imminent heat death of planet n run away feedback loops already underway..
(Keep on shoppin yall)
Ahh
What is life anyway..right?
I mean...WHAT IS LIFE
Even if it ends as us.
A brief flurrish..on a rock.
Speaking of rocks..this one kailash cave
Named after th mountain..ca4v3d from the cliff..over 2000 years ago takeing 900 years i think.
Fukn impressive.
Kinda mystifyed me with th lingum cave.
I like my religeo anthro tourism to have metimifisical cock n pussy milk bath symbolism.
Na truly...i felt it.
Symbolism thats literal as it is universal.
Its real dark in there..inturnal space.
Smooth worn rock floor..pillers..
Scale.
Got me thinking..the equivalents of "carving" today.
Information sculpting..data..bio tech gene design..light even.
All that s i fi paranormal narritive of uploading ya self to a another dimention..
Of course
The recent ancesters knew this already was that. Without th gadgets....think that edge is why mans religeon is so fizzy about death god n soul..afterlife..
Maybe womans religeon would be bit more present embodyed..would cash machines be psychotheripists too?
Give hugs..do longterm service arrangements fer protection n submission to alpha egos..
I was in a shit mood tday.
Slept in a stone monks cell..
Was gawkd at by indian famlys..
Selfie selfie!
This as sanctifyed as it is..is just another famly outting n trimket sales point.
Im tuneing in..to intent..worship..artistry..math..
And eery chambers awsome leeching rock dribbles..its echoing a minimal natural aesthetic ..of fundamentals..for me
Absoluteism...
I reckognise my own singuler search or feeling for reverence mystery
the sacred.
Wanting that to be central..even in silence.
Perhaps it is already.
Imagine...having nothing..being a 12centry bhuddjist monk in a stone cell..ya whole life.
Or a rate payer in port chalmers.
Whole time im recogniseing im vibeing on "nature"..erosion time elemental stsin..th edges of surfaces..the discordant with th articulated..contrasts..
In aotearoa..the sacred spaces for alot of us are raw..not synthesised.
Like caves stelagnites
Mountain trains avalanch..river rock pools
Swirl ..coastline cliff bush n forrest.
Whats left after the realestate market anyway.
Thats why the retarded kid
The paraplegic
The mentally ill
The successful social achiever
Are all as important as the well adapted normal ignorant.
Cos
Unformed information..has as much raw content as formed made.
In fact..
We usually just ego fuk the shit oitra anything we turn our hand too cocking it up entirely.
Lemmie be a hunter gather
Die young wen i can still root n forrage and it means something
..dunno..
Civilisation..was a mistske.
As a kid i was morosely upset at th lack of trees on th plains and hills in chch.
Couldnt understsnd how any of this town was progress at all.
I liked saphire n steel mind you..dr who..
Oh yeah..this iz my blog..im gunna wank on as much as i need seeing as im depressed travling alone in fat white middleage loner no famly everyone hates me privledge.
Seriously..no social context..outside of a visa card..what can i say..im not driveing drunk.
Still social context may be a bit ambitious in a robo hive of virtual meem cluster interface n isolation self centred conformist right wing strut
Victim slave children.
If we were all passionate maori warriors and told th brittish n th globalist agenda to fuck off
Grew organic veges n wild meat
Gene resurrected birds..
And
Sang more aswell as read up to date periodicals concerning star telepathy.
Yeah
Ride my whale.
Sleep in my car.
i do
Its a hi ace van.
Ahhh so tel us about love master
(Parodying a time when people spoke freely)
Love my child
As destructive as creation itself.
It starts with ya mother
It never realy ends.
Beware
Beware
Militiristic monotheism
Material acculation seperation
That..vain echo of hearing ya self hearing about ya self hearing
Organism..self determines
Best route.
Others part of it..but peripheral to inner.
Related however.
It would appear there is only you
But thats apearing to a false entity.
Infact theres no one there.
Whats there is water in a stream
A death in the trenchs 1918
A influenza death in the jungle after fritz visited.
Love..when im the breath n sun n
Wind n collideing galaxys in fast forward
When
I need you to need me
as needfull things need
Body requirements
Trust obeying giggles.
Knowing itll go to shit
Knowing it cant last
Makeing a effort anyway
Cos we love you
Theres nothing else to do..stick around
Report..no one listening
report...hear ya self burble bullshit
Report..
Kindly suppose ya better than ya feel
Whats the measure?
Love cos
Umm were mamels and thats the biochemicle soup we jive on..
Although it could be..a entity from between versions of ourselfs collectivly fractal peering in thru the tulpa cam angle
The one th one the one
Eternal flow
Energy body
Grains of sand
Echoing feedbacks echoing feedbacks
Intencifying in dencity
Woops theres the dna libary all over me skirt.
Sacrifice empathy forgivness
Honesty commitment willingness
Service..stupidity wizdom
Cooking cleaning..spending alot of money
Not doing what ya want to all th time
Admitting ya wrong
Admitting there wrong
Inability to make it right
Laughter
hopelessness
..and failure
Success being
a candidate at all
Baby.
Ultimatly..love
About shareing being alive self acceptance
And accepting
judgemental creeps
Love
Safty
Early home life
Violence
Guilt
Anger resent distrust
Shame
Abandonment..
Problem yer always a problem .
Love
.
Acting addict sociopath
Criminal
Steal
Hurt
Normal fuckers.
Love
That kid
Burnin down th house...tryd so earnestly
YA GOTTA TRY T BE GOOD AY
default
soaked in other ..made being born.
abortion.. womans choise
Good..obey ..conform..submit..good
Relinquish..
Play th game
bad.
Power.
Storm
Flood
Wind
Deceit lies
Horror
Acceptance..
Flower
Sunset
Breeze
Bigger picture in everything
Sketching.. very good student.
understand
the way
took my own hand
in my heart kinda from future or something
sane..observer
Weve made alotta decisions together me n this guy
He looks out fer me .
Hes majic.
fuk with majic.
Ya cant
A start u
biggot tax ring
Na.
make it ya self.
Get a bit of faith
Help